9. Manna issue 59 - Romance in Entertainment Media 娛樂媒體的愛情故事
Understanding and overcoming the effect romantic media can have on our faith and spirituality.
了解並克服愛情故事媒體對我們的信心和靈命的影響。
Rebecca Yuan—Canoga Park, California, USA 美國加州卡諾加
To relax and take a break from our work or studies,
we often turn to media entertainment,
which may be more easily accessible than other hobbies or activities.
為了從自已工作或學習中放鬆休息一下，，
我們經常轉向多媒體娛樂，
這可能比其他嗜好或活動更容易取得。
But before we decide to spend three minutes listening to a song,
two hours watching a movie,
or ten hours reading a bestselling novel,
we need to consider what we are putting into our heart through our eyes and ears.
Will our choice of entertainment help us stay pure,
or will it pollute the wellspring of our life?
但在我們決定花三分鐘聽一首歌之前，
看兩小時的電影，
或花十小時閱讀一本暢銷小說，
我們需要考慮我們透過眼睛和耳朵把什麼放入我們的心中。
我們選擇的娛樂能幫助我們保持純潔嗎？
還是會污染我們生命的泉源？
ENTANGLED IN FICTIONAL ROMANCE
From children’s animated movies to television dramas, romance seems to be everywhere.
Cartoons teach preschoolers that
the prince and princess meet, kiss, marry, and live happily ever after.
Teen-oriented books constantly rehash the age-old themes of first and forbidden love.
The airwaves are inundated with songs about love or lost love.
從兒童動畫電影到電視劇，愛情故事似乎無所不在。
卡通教導學齡前的兒童，
王子和公主相遇，接吻，結婚，從此過上了幸福的生活。
青少年讀物一直重提初戀和禁忌之戀的古老主題。
廣播中充斥著有關愛情或失戀的歌曲。
Media producers continue making romantically-themed products
because they know that people naturally desire love
and are willing to pay to vicariously experience the excitement of being in love.
媒體製作人繼續製作愛情故事主題的產品，
因為他們知道，人們天生就渴望愛情，
並且願意花錢間接體驗愛情的刺激。
Unfortunately, without God, many producers misconstrue true love,
and the notions that they sell in their romances
can really harm our spiritual health and relationships.
不幸的是，沒有神，許多製作人誤解了真愛，
以及他們於愛情故事中所推銷的觀念，
確實可以損害我們的靈命和各種人際關係。
What are some dangers to being emotionally entangled in fictional romance?
How can we protect ourselves from being spiritually weakened by too much romantic media?
陷入虛構的浪漫愛情故事會帶來哪些危險？
我們如何保護自己，不因過多的浪漫媒體而導致精神衰弱？
Danger #1: Confusing Love with Desire 危害一：混亂了愛情和慾望
The Bible tells us that the meaning of true love is sacrifice.
As 1 John says,
聖經告訴我們，真愛的意義就是犧牲。
正如約翰壹書所說，
[F]or love comes from God.
Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
This is how God showed his love among us:
He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.
This is love: not that we loved God,
but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
(1 Jn 4:7-10, NIV)
7因為愛是從神來的。
凡有愛心的，都是由神而生，並且認識神。
8沒有愛心的，就不認識神，因為神就是愛。
9神差他獨生子到世間來，使我們藉著他得生，
神愛我們的心在此就顯明了。
10不是我們愛神，乃是神愛我們，
差他的兒子為我們的罪作了挽回祭，這就是愛了。
（約壹 4：7-10，NIV）
But too often the media interprets desire as love in the same way that Shechem did.
Shechem was a young man who “fell in love” with Jacob’s daughter, Dinah.
However, to instantly gratify his desire, he forced himself upon her.
The Bible records:
And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her,
he took her and lay with her, and violated her.
His soul was strongly attracted to Dinah the daughter of Jacob,
and he loved the young woman and spoke kindly to the young woman.
(Gen 34:2, 3)
但媒體常常將慾望解讀為愛，就像示劍所做的一樣。
示劍是一位年輕人，他“愛上”了雅各的女兒底拿。
然而，為了立即滿足他自己的慾望，他強暴了她。
聖經記載：
2那地的主─希未人、哈抹的兒子示劍看見他，
就拉住他，與他行淫，玷辱他。
3示劍的心繫戀雅各的女兒底拿，
喜愛這女子，甜言蜜語地安慰他。
（創 34：2，3）
Did Shechem really love Dinah?
Not according to God’s definition of true love.
Instead of being willing to sacrifice,
Shechem’s love was a selfish and covetous desire
that disregarded Dinah’s will and purity.
示劍是否真的愛底拿嗎？
這不符合神對真愛的定義。
相對於願意做出犧牲，
示劍的愛情是一種自私和貪婪的慾望，
它不顧底拿的意願和純潔。
Romantic storylines are not usually as violent,
but they often encourage us to strongly desire, objectify,
and pursue the opposite sex in the same carnal way that Shechem did.
They preach the instant gratification of desire through the thrill of pursuit
(flirtation, flowers, candle-lit dinners)
and physical intimacy
(passionate kissing, long embraces, sexual contact).
愛情故事情節通常不會那麼暴力，
但它們通常鼓動我們運用強烈熾列的慾望，物質化，
並以肉慾的方式追求異性像示劍一樣。
他們會鼓吹由追求刺激來滿足即時的慾望，
（調情，鮮花，燭光晚餐）
與身體的親密接觸
（激情熱吻，緊緊相擁，一夜纏綿）。
Kissing is portrayed as an innocent act,
the loss of virginity mistaken as a rite of passage,
fornication justified as a consummation of love,
and adultery excused as long as people are escaping loveless marriages.
接吻被描繪成天真純潔的行為，
失去童貞被誤導為一種成年儀式，
私通被合理化是愛情的極緻，
外遇成為開脫的藉口，只要人們是為了逃避失去愛情的婚姻。
In short, modern-day romantic media promote an unbridled desire
that is not held back by purity, patience, commitment, or the fear of God.
簡而言之，現代愛情故事媒體推廣一種無拘無束的慾望，
那是沒有受到純潔，耐心，承諾或對敬畏神之心所拘束。
If we find ourselves rooting for our hero or heroine’s impure actions;
if we start enjoying the sights and sounds of improper conduct in God’s eyes;
if we find ourselves drawn to desire masquerading as love,
then perhaps we need to reconsider what we are putting into our hearts.
Let us remember that the consequence of unchecked desire is death.
But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.
Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin;
and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
(Jas 1:14, 15)
如果我們發現自己支持男女主角不純潔的行為；
如果我們開始喜愛那些在神眼中不當行為的影片和音樂；
如果我們發現自己受到偽裝成愛情的慾望所吸引，
那麼我們或許需要重新思考自已置入內心的想法。
讓我們記住，不受控制的慾望的後果就是死亡。
14但各人被試探，乃是被自己的私慾牽引誘惑的。
15私慾既懷了胎，就生出罪來；
罪既長成，就生出死來。
（雅 1：14，15）
As Christians, we simply cannot confuse love and desire
because we are holy to the Lord.
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality,
or of any kind of impurity, or of greed,
because these are improper for God’s holy people.
(Eph 5:3, NIV)
身為基督徒，我們根本就不行混淆愛心和慾望，
因為我們是屬主聖潔的。
3至於淫亂並一切污穢，或是貪婪，在你們中間連題都不可，
方合聖徒的體統。
（弗 5：3，NIV）
Danger #2: Distracting the Unmarried from God 危害二：疏離未婚者遠離神
Singlehood is often the best time to serve God
because it is a period with the least familial responsibilities.
That is why Paul tells us:
He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord
—how he may please the Lord.
But he who is married cares about the things of the world
—how he may please his wife.
There is a difference between a wife and a virgin.
The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord,
that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.
But she who is married cares about the things of the world
—how she may please her husband.
(1 Cor 7:32-34)
單身往往是事奉神的最佳時機，
因為那是家庭責任最少的時期。
因此保羅告訴我們：
未婚的人可以關心主的聖工，
—他要怎樣作才能蒙主喜悅。
但已婚的人會關心是世俗的事，
—他要怎樣作才能取悅妻子。
作為妻子和閨女是有所區別的。
未婚的女子會關心主的聖工，
使她可以維持身體和靈魂兩者都聖潔。
但是已婚的女會人關心世俗之事，
—她要怎樣作才能取悅自已的丈夫。
（林前 7：32-34）
Unfortunately, unmarried Christians are often distracted from God
because of secular ideas of romance.
Consuming too much romance causes us to awaken love before its time
(Song 2:7)
and seek to please the opposite sex before the proper time of marriage.
不幸的是，未婚的基督徒常常離神而分心，
因為世俗愛情浪漫的觀念。
接觸太多愛情浪漫故事會讓我們提前覺醒愛情
（歌 2：7）
並在適合結婚時間之前就去尋求取悅異性。
Instead of doing all we can for the Lord,
we spend our time pining for that prince in shining armor
or the fair maiden who will fulfill our heart’s desire.
Sometimes we worry so much over finding that perfect someone
that we lose our focus and inner peace.
As James describes,
Where do wars and fights come from among you?
Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?
You lust and do not have….
Yet you do not have because you do not ask.
You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss,
that you may spend it on your pleasures.
(Jas 4:1-3)
我們不但沒有盡全力為主做事，
我們花時間思念那位白馬王子，
或是那位充滿我們內心慾望的白雪公主。
有時我們太過煩惱找不到那位完美的配偶，
我們失去了自已的焦點和內心的平安。
正如雅各長老所描繪的，
1你們中間的爭戰鬥毆是從那裡來的呢？
不是從你們百體中戰鬥之私慾來的麼？
2你們貪戀，還是得不著；...
你們得不著，是因為你們不求。
3你們求也得不著，是因為你們妄求，
要浪費在你們的宴樂中。
（雅 4：1-3）
If this is the case,
let us stand up to the media’s message
that we need to find someone to “complete us”
and strive to become “perfect and complete” in the Lord
(Jas 1:4).
Let us also hold onto the promise that
if we “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,”
God will take care of all our other needs
(Mt 6:33).
如果情況是這樣的話，
讓我們抵制媒體的訊息，
我們需要找一個人來“完全自已”
努力在主裡成為“成全、完備”
（雅 1：4）。
讓我們也堅守這個應許，
如果我們“33你們要先求他的國和他的義”，
神會照顧一切我們其他的需要
（太 6：33）
Danger #3: Creating Unrealistic Expectations for Marriage 危害三：制造了婚姻不實際的期待
Another danger of romance in the media is that
it helps create unrealistic expectations for a spouse or future spouse.
媒體愛情故事的另一個危險就是，
它促使開啟了面對配偶或未來伴侶的不切實際期望。
In romances, leading men are usually handsome, fit, well-dressed,
charming, and attentive to every whim of his lady.
Leading women have gorgeous figures, flattering clothes, flawless faces, and rarely nag.
They seldom have financial problems and their houses are always clean.
在愛情故事中，男主角通常很英俊，體態勻稱，衣著得體，
風度翩翩，且對於他的女併細心體貼，處處迎合她的心意。。
女主角身材絕美，衣著優雅大方，容貌姣好，少言寡語。
他們少有經濟困難，而且他們的屋子總是乾乾淨淨。
If people internalize these traits of perfect husbands and wives,
they may become bitterly disappointed by the discrepancies between fantasy and reality.
如果人們內化了這些完美丈夫和妻子的特質，
他們可能會因為幻想與現實之間的差異而感到非常的失望。
To counter the media’s idea of marital expectations,
let us focus on the spousal responsibilities given to us by the Bible:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church;
and He is the Savior of the body.
Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…
let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself,
and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
(Eph. 5:22-25, 33)
為了反駁媒體婚姻期望的看法，
讓我們聚焦於聖經賦予我們的配偶責任：
22你們作妻子的，當順服自己的丈夫，如同順服主。
23因為丈夫是妻子的頭，如同基督是教會的頭；
他又是教會全體的救主。
24教會怎樣順服基督
，妻子也要怎樣凡事順服丈夫。
25你們作丈夫的，要愛你們的妻子，正如基督愛教會，為教會捨己。...
33然而，你們各人都當愛妻子，如同愛自己一樣。
妻子也當敬重他的丈夫。
（弗 5：22-25，33）
More importantly, let us remember that contrary to what the media tell us,
our goal on earth is not merely finding romantic love or fulfillment.
As the Bible tells us,
[W]hatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,
knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance;
for you serve the Lord Christ.
(Col 3:23, 24)
更重要的是，讓我們記住，與媒體告訴我們的正好相反，
我們在世的目標不僅要尋找浪漫愛情或滿足感。
正如聖經告訴我們，
23無論做甚麼，都要從心裡做，像是給主做的，不是給人做的，
24因你們知道從主那裡必得著基業為賞賜；
你們所事奉的乃是主基督。
（西 3：23，24）
DEPARTING FROM THE DANGER ZONE 遠離危險區域
If we are a regular consumer of romantically-themed media
(movies, dramas, music, books, etc.),
let us ask ourselves the following questions:
如果我們是愛情浪漫題材媒體的常客
（電影，戲劇，音樂，書籍等）
讓我們問問自己以下幾個問題：
1. Do I find myself living vicariously through the romance of fictional characters?
1. 我是否發現自己通過小說人物的浪漫情節間接體驗別人生活而感到快樂？
2. Does my media consumption cause me to desire the opposite sex in a way that is not pleasing to God?
2. 我接觸的媒體是否導致我渴望以一種不令神喜悅的方式得到異性？
3. Do I have a hard time walking away from romantically-themed media entertainment?
3. 我是否很難遠離愛情為題的娛樂媒體呢？
4. Does my media choice distract me from being wholeheartedly devoted to God in my singlehood?
4. 在單身期間，選擇的媒體是否會讓我全心虔誠事奉神不專心？
5. Do I fantasize about a fictional character and view them as my ideal mate?
5. 我是否會幻想一個虛構的人物，視他們為我的理想伴侶？
6. Does my media choice cause me to form unrealistic expectations for my spouse or future spouse?
6. 我接觸的媒體是否會讓我對自已配偶或未來配偶產生不切實際的期望？
If we answered “yes” to any of the questions above,
perhaps we have already fallen into the entanglements of fictional romance.
What, then, can we do to escape?
如果我們對以上任何這些問題回答“是的”，
或許，我們已經陷入了小說浪漫愛情故事的糾葛中。
那麼，我們該怎麼做才能脫離呢？
Action #1: Reduce Romantic Media Consumption 行動一：減少接觸愛情媒體
If romantic media is causing us to stray from God’s teachings,
the most immediate action we can take is to exercise self-control and reduce our media consumption.
It may be painful to lessen or forgo something we enjoy so much,
but we must remember that we are constantly in a spiritual battle
(Eph 6:12).
如果浪漫愛情故事媒體正導致我們偏離神的教導，
我們所能採取最直接的行動就是開始克制自已，減少自已接觸媒體。
減少或放棄一些自已很喜歡的影音媒體可能會很痛苦，
但我們必須記住，我們正一直處於一場靈戰之中
（弗 6：12）。
In order to resist being eaten alive by the devil, we must be sober and vigilant
(1 Pet 5:8).
We must be like Paul, who said,
But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection,
lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.
(1 Cor 9:27)
為了抵擋被魔鬼活活吞吃，我們必須保持清醒和謹慎，
（彼前 5：8）。
我們必須像保羅一樣，他說，
27我是攻克己身，叫身服我，
恐怕我傳福音給別人，自己反被棄絕了。
（林前 9：27）
Action #2: Replace Romantic Media Consumption with More Beneficial Activities
行動二：以有益活動取代接觸愛情媒體
When we make the determination to reduce romantic media consumption,
we should also make plans to fill the gap in our schedule
with something more beneficial to our spiritual health.
Otherwise, we may feel bored, restless, and tempted to return to romance.
當我們下定決心減少接觸浪漫愛情故事的媒體時，
我們還應該制定計劃來填補自已時間表的空白，
進行一些對自已靈命健全更有益的活動。
否則，我們可能會很無聊，坐立不安，並受引誘想回到愛情故事中。
There are a variety of activities that will allow us to
“walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time”
(Eph 5:15, 16).
We just need to be a little more creative.
有各種各樣的活動可以讓我們，
“15你們要謹慎行事，不要像愚昧人，當像智慧人。
16要愛惜光陰”
（弗 5：15，16）
我們只是需要再受多一點的創意。
Instead of indulging in romantic media,
we can find activities that are both enjoyable and useful in our service to the Lord.
相對於沉迷於浪漫愛情故事的媒體，
我們可以找出在自已服事主之時既有趣又有用的活動。
We can strengthen our bodies through exercise, refine or acquire new skills
(for example, in cooking, music, languages, crafts, writing,
art, computers, organization, cleaning, fixing appliances, to name a few),
or help someone in need
(encourage a friend, send a care package, volunteer, etc.).
我們可以透過運動來加強身體，提升或是取得新技能，
（例如，烹飪，音樂，語言，工藝，寫作，
藝術，電腦，組織，清潔，修理電器，僅列舉幾例）
或是幫助有需要的人
（鼓勵朋友，寄送愛心包裹，加入志工等）。
When choosing the replacement activity,
let us remember Paul’s encouragement on what we should fill our minds with:
[W]hatever things are true, whatever things are noble,
whatever things are just, whatever things are pure,
whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report,
if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy
—meditate on these things.
(Phil 4:8)
在選擇取代的活動時，
讓我們記得保羅的灌勉，我們該用什麼來充實自已的心智：
8凡是真實的，可敬的，
公義的，清潔的，
可愛的，有美名的，
若有甚麼德行，若有甚麼稱讚，
這些事你們都要思念。
(腓 4：8)
Action #3: Renew Our Commitment to Stay Holy and Pure 行動三：更新自已的承諾保持聖潔
Most importantly, as we escape the entanglements of romantic media,
we need to pray to God and renew our commitment to be holy and pure.
最重要的是，當我們擺脫了愛情浪漫媒體的纏累時，
我們需要向神祈禱，並更新建立自已的信念保持聖潔。
God is holy and intends for us to be holy
(1 Pet 1:13-16).
He also knows our struggles because He was tempted like us
(Heb 4:15).
If we come before Him to ask for help,
He will help us overcome our temptations.
神是聖潔的，祂希望我們要聖潔
（彼前 1：13-16）。
祂也知道我們的掙扎，因為祂也受過試探如同我們
（來 4：15）。
如果我們來到祂面前尋求幫助，
祂將幫助我們克服自已的誘惑。
As James tells us,
Therefore submit to God.
Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
(Jas 4:7, 8)
正如雅各長老告訴我們，
7故此，你們要順服神。
務要抵擋魔鬼，魔鬼就必離開你們逃跑了。
8你們親近神，神就必親近你們。
（雅 4：7，8）
May we honestly evaluate our relationship with media romance.
If need be, let us make the determination to break free from its influence.
Let us ask for God’s guidance
so we may redeem our precious time on earth
and live our lives worthy of the Lord.
願我們可以誠實評估自已與愛情浪漫媒體的關係。
如果有需要的話，讓我們下定決心去擺脫它的影響。
讓我們祈求神的指引，
好讓我們能夠挽回自己世上寶貴的時間，
並且活出榮耀主的生活。
小頁 markvmax@hotmail.com
歡迎主內同靈來信加入翻譯
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