9. Manna issue 56 - Is it Acceptable to Date an Unbeliever 交往未信者是可接受的嗎?
Biblical principles that show us the answer to this difficult question.
by Seraphim
聖經原則給我們看這個難題的答案。
by Seraphim 撒拉弗複數
At a recent church seminar,
thirty-two youths were asked
to anonymously write down on a piece of paper their answer to these questions:
1) Do you believe it is OK to marry a Christian from a different church?
2) Do you believe it is OK to date a Christian from a different church?
Here is a summary of their responses:
在最近一次教會講習會時,
有 32 名青年被詢問,
可匿名在一張紙上寫下他們對以下這些問題的答案:
1) 你認為是否可以與不同教會的基督徒結婚嗎?
2) 你認為是否可以與不同教會的基督徒談戀愛嗎?
以下是他們的回答摘要:
Do you believe it is OK to marry a Christian from a different church?
你認為是否可以與不同教會的基督徒結婚嗎?
No 25 78% 不 25人 78%
Not Sure 1 3% 不確定 1人 3%
Yes 6 19% 是 6人 19%
Do you believe it is OK to DATE a Christian from a different church?
你認為是否可以與不同教會的基督徒談戀愛嗎?
No 19 59% 不 19人 59%
Not Sure 3 9% 不確定 3人 9%
Yes 10 31% 是 10人 31%
Although a majority of the youths surveyed believed
one should not marry outside of the church,
about one-fifth of the youths do not share this same conviction.
When it came to the question of dating,
only a small majority of 59% believed it improper
to date someone from a different church.
It is interesting to note that more sisters than brothers
(70% vs. 50%)
believed we should only date inside the church.
儘管大多數受訪的青年相信,
一個人不應該與未信者結婚,
大約五分之一的青年不認同同樣的信念。
而討論約會的問題時,
只有 59% 的少數人認為那不合適,
與不同教會的人約會。
值得注意有趣的是,姊妹多於兄弟
(70% 與 50%)
認為我們應該只在教會內交往。
This was a small and informal survey,
but it validated my perception
that many young people are confused about
what constitutes a proper relationship
with those who have not been baptized in our church.
這是一項小型且非正式的調查,
但它驗證了我的看法,
很多青年都很困惑,
什麼才是構成一段合適的感情,
與那些沒有在我們教會受洗的人。
Let"s say a dear brother (or sister) in Christ confided in you
that he really likes someone at work or school they really like.
He believes this may be the person of his dreams,
except there is one huge problem
Xshe is not a member of our church.
Torn between his desire
to serve God with a clear conscience and his attraction to this person,
he asks for your trusted council.
How should you guide him?
假設有一位親愛的基督裡弟兄(或姊妹)向你傾訴,
他真的很喜歡工作或學校的某人他們真的喜歡。
他認為這可能是他夢想之人,
除了有一個大問題,
—她不是我們教會的信徒。
在他慾望之間掙扎,
以無虧的良心事奉神,及他對這人的吸引力,
他請求你信任的輔導。
你該怎麼引導他呢?
This is a sensitive topic
as it not only speaks to delicate matters of the heart
but also forces us
to delve uncomfortably deeper into personal convictions
about faith and the Truth.
It is a complicated matter
within the larger context of a diverse church body
and an important issue that requires discussion.
這是一個敏感的話題,
因為它不僅討論觸及內心的敏感問題,
也迫使我們,
可讓不不自在的深入探究個人價值觀,
如何看待信仰和真理。
這是一項複雜的議題,
在一種多元教會群體中,有更廣泛情境,
也是一個需要討論的重要議題。
The intent of this article
is to candidly present biblical teachings
to help guide young people in making relationship decisions
that will always honor God.
本文的目的,
就是要坦誠展開聖經的教教,
以幫助引導青年來做出感情關係的抉擇,
將可凡事榮耀神。
HOW DID PEOPLE "DATE" IN BIBLICAL TIMES?
聖經時代眾人是如何“約會”?
If we search the Scriptures,
we will not find the command,
"Thou Shalt not Date an Unbeliever."
In fact, the Bible does not talk about" dating" at all,
because dating and courtship were viewed differently than in modern times.
如果我們查考聖經,
我們將不會找到這種誡命,
“你不應該與未信者交往。”
事實上,聖經一點都沒有談到“約會”,
因為那時約會和求偶的看法與現代不同。
The people of the Bible did not entertain the idea
of having a trial and error period in their lives,
where one could enter into casual relationships
before finally committing oneself to matrimony.
Such" loose" behavior would be shunned by the community at large,
and persons conducting themselves in that way would be branded as promiscuous.
聖經的人物並沒有考量過這種想法,
在他們人生中去進行一段試誤期,
而那人可以隨意進入感情關係
在最終自已委身步入婚姻前。
這種“放蕩”的行為會被大部份社群所排斥,
而那些自已採取那種方式行事的人,就會被貼標籤很淫亂。
It was more typical that a young man
who esteemed a young woman would discuss the matter with his parents,
who in turn would approach the family of the young woman.
If there was acceptance,
the two were betrothed or publicly contracted
to soon enter into the solemn and sacred rite of marriage.
And not a few of these unions were in fact pre-arranged
before the young man and young woman even met
—a thought inconceivable in today"s day and age!
更常見的情況是,
有一位青年愛慕一位年輕女子,會與他父母商量此事,
他們接著會去拜訪女方家。
如果雙方都同意,
兩人便會訂婚或公開訂婚約,
可很快步入婚姻莊嚴神聖儀式的殿堂。
而且,不少這樣的婚姻其實是早就安排好的,
甚至在男女雙方見面之前,
—在今日時代來看是一種難以置信的想法!
Although the central topic here is dating,
we cannot have a meaningful discussion about dating apart from marriage
because the goal of all dating and courtship activities is to be married.
雖然這裡的中心話題是約會,
但是,若我們沒有討論婚姻,就無法進行關於交往產生出義的討論,
因為一切約會和戀愛活動的目標,都是為了結婚。
FIVE BIBLE PRINCIPLES ON MARRIAGE 婚姻的五項聖經原則
Although the Bible does not offer direct references to dating,
it does provide a clear definition and direction
on what constitutes a proper sexual and marital relationship,
which we can employ to guide our actions.
Here are five biblical principles that are worthy of review:
雖然聖經沒有直接提及約會,
但它對給予很清晰的定義和方式,
基於何方可架構架一重合宜的性關係和婚姻關係,
我們可以此來指導自己的行為。
以下是五項聖經原則值得好好考查:
1) Sexual activity outside of God"s prescription of marriage
constitutes sexual immorality and is a serious offense
1)在神規範婚姻之外的性行為,
構成淫亂,是一種嚴重的罪過。
Marriage is honorable among all,
and the bed undefiled;
but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
(Heb 13:4)
4婚姻,人人都當尊重,
床也不可污穢;
因為苟合行淫的人,神必要審判。
(來 13:4)
Now the body is not for sexual immorality
but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
(1 Cor 6:13b)
13身子不是為淫亂,
乃是為主;主也是為身子。
(林前 6:13b)
Flee sexual immorality.
Every sin that a man does is outside the body,
but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit
who is in you, whom you have from God,
and you are not your own?
For you were bought at a price;
therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit,
which are God"s.
(1 Cor 6:18-20)
18你們要逃避淫行。
人所犯的,無論甚麼罪,都在身子以外,
惟有行淫的,是得罪自己的身子。
19豈不知你們的身子就是聖靈的殿麼?
這聖靈是從神而來,住在你們裡頭的;
並且你們不是自己的人;
20因為你們是重價買來的。
所以,要在你們的身子上榮耀神。
(林前 6:18-20)
From these verses we understand
that the only circumstance in which the bed is undefiled
is within the sacred union of marriage.
Any sexual thought or deed outside of God"s marital parameters
would constitute porneia
(the Greek root from which we get" pornography"),
which is translated" fornication" or" sexual immorality" in the English Bible.
從這些經節我們明白,
沒有沾污床榻唯一的情境,
就是建立於神聖婚姻的聯合,
只有在神聖的婚姻結合中才是純潔的
任何超出神婚姻界線的性念頭或行為,
都構成淫亂,
(porneia,希臘字根,即“色情作品”),
在英文聖經中被譯為“通奸”或“亂淪”。
This is a serious sin against the most Holy God and the body of His temple,
for which the Bible forewarns
no such practicing person shall inherit the kingdom of God
(1 Cor 6:9, 10).
Hence, the seventh commandment,
"You shall not commit adultery,"
can be better applied as
" You shall not fornicate or commit sexual immorality"
to encompass all sexual sins,
including adultery, premarital sex, rape, incest, homosexuality, and even bestiality.
這是一種嚴重罪行,得罪至聖神及祂聖殿的身體,
對此聖經事前發出警告,
10凡這樣行的人,都不能承受神的國。
(林前 6:9-10)
因此,第七誡,
“不可姦淫”,
可以更好理解為,
“不可姦淫,也不可行淫亂”,
來涵蓋一切性的罪行,
包括,姦淫,婚前性行為,強暴,亂倫,同性戀,甚至獸交。
In today"s sexually charged environment,
we see billboards, magazines, movies, television shows, music videos, and video games
that glorify sexual immorality to such extremes
that entire societies have become desensitized and debased
from prolonged exposure.
But we know that all these things are an abomination to God,
regardless of how callously it is promoted by our culture.
In any dating or courting relationship,
inside of the church or not,
we must honor God and refrain from such activities
that the Bible permits only married people to do.
在如今性氾濫的環境中,
我們看到廣告看板,雜誌,電影,電視節目,音樂影片和電子遊戲,
美化淫亂到如此極端的地步,
以至於整個社會已變得麻木不仁且墮落,
由於長期的曝露。
但我們知道,一切這此事都是神所憎惡的,
無論我們文化是如何冷酷無情的宣揚它們。
在任何約會或追求的關係中,
在教會內或教會外,
我們必須榮耀神,並克制這種行為,
是聖經只允許已婚人士方可進行。
2) God"s prescription of marriage
is that we are to marry only in the Lord
2)神設立婚姻,
就是我們只在主裡結婚。
A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives;
but if her husband dies,
she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes,
only in the Lord.
(1 Cor 7:39, emphasis mine)
39丈夫活著的時候,妻子是被約束的;
丈夫若死了,
妻子就可以自由,隨意再嫁,只是要嫁這在主裡面的人。
(林前 7:39,作者強調)
Do we have no right to take along a believing wife,
as do also the other apostles,
the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?
(1 Cor 9:5, emphasis mine)
5難道我們沒有權柄娶信主的姊妹為妻,帶著一同往來,
彷彿其餘的使徒
和主的弟兄並磯法一樣麼?
(林前 9:5,作者強調)
These verses provide additional emphasis
to keeping marriage" in the family" of believers.
The widow can take another husband,
but she is restricted to marry in the Lord.
The apostles are at liberty to take along a wife,
but not just any woman
—she must be a believer.
這些經文進一步強調,
維持“信徒家庭”聯姻。
寡婦可再嫁,
但她必須嫁娶主內。
使徒可自行帶妻子同行,
但並非任何女人,
—她必須是信徒。
"Because God said so,"
should be reason enough for our faithful obedience,
but the Bible also provides the following compelling explanations
for why God strictly prohibits mixed marriages
and demands our separation from unbelievers.
“因為神如此說”,
應該可成為我們忠心順服的理由,
而聖經也給予以下令人信服的解釋,
說明為什麼神嚴禁異族通婚,
並要求我們分別未信者。
3) In God"s eyes,
unbelievers are"mentally, physically, spiritually, and ritually unclean.
Becoming" one" with an unclean person
will not only defile our body
but also God"s church and temple of the Holy Spirit
3)在神眼中,
未信者於心智,肉體,靈命和禮律法儀式都不潔淨。
與一位不潔者“成為一體”,
不僅會玷汙我們的身體,
也會玷污神的教會和聖靈的殿。
This is what I often hear from brothers and sisters
who are considering relationships outside of the church:
這就是我常聽自一些弟兄姐妹所說的事,
他們正考慮在教會外的情感關係:
"She"s a devout Christian, just in another church,
and she has better moral virtues than many other people in our church..."
“她是一位虔誠的基督徒,只是在另一個教會。
而她很有美德比我們教會許多人更好。”
"I"m thirty years old now.
I"ve tried but can"t find any brothers in church..."
“我如今三十歲了。
我已努力過,但找不到教會的任何弟兄…”
"Well, he"s really nice to me and respects my parent..."
“嗯,他真的對我很好,而且尊重我的父母...”
"Maybe after a while, she will come to believe too..."
“或許過一段時間,她也會來信主...”
The problem with each of these statements,
and most discussion circles about dating and marriage,
is that we are starting from the wrong place
—that is, we are looking at a spiritual matter from a human point of view.
這些每一種說法有問題,
大多數討論都圍繞著約會和婚姻,
問題在於:我們從錯誤點出發,
—也就是說,我們用人的角度來尋找屬靈的問題。
Whenever we start talking about feelings, emotions, and other complicated human dynamics,
we are speaking from a human perspective.
If we really want to know God"s will,
we do not need to look further than the Scriptures.
It's all about cleanliness.
Here are some crystal clear passages
that command God's clean people to be separate from the unclean people of the world:
每當我們開始談論感情,情緒及其他複雜的人際關係時,
我們都是從人的視角出發。
如果我們真想知道神的旨意,
我們無需進一步尋求聖經外。
一切都與潔淨有關。
以下是一些清晰明白的經文,
命令神潔淨的子民要與世界不潔之人分別為聖:
"The land which you are entering to possess is an unclean land,
with the uncleanness of the peoples of the lands,
with their abominations which have filled it
from one end to another with their impurity.
Now therefore, do not give your daughters as wives for their sons,
nor take their daughters to your sons;
and never seek their peace or prosperity."
(Ezra 9:11, 12)
“11你們要去得為業之地是污穢之地;
因列國之民的污穢和可憎的事,
叫全地從這邊直到那邊滿了污穢。
12所以不可將你們的女兒嫁他們的兒子,
也不可為你們的兒子娶他們的女兒,
永不可求他們的平安和他們的利益。”
(拉 9:11-12)
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?
And what communion has light with darkness?
And what accord has Christ with Belial?
Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?
And what agreement has the temple of God with idols?
For you are the temple of the living God.
As God has said:
"I will dwell in them and walk among them.
I will be their God, and they shall be My people."
Therefore
"Come out from among them and be separate,"
says the Lord.
"Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you."
(2Cor 6:14-17)
14你們和不信的原不相配,不要同負一軛。
義和不義有甚麼相交呢?
光明和黑暗有甚麼相通呢?
15基督和彼列(彼列就是撒但的別名)有甚麼相和呢?
信主的和不信主的有甚麼相干呢?
16神的殿和偶像有甚麼相同呢?
因為我們是永生神的殿,
就如神曾說:
我要在他們中間居住,在他們中間來往;
我要作他們的神;他們要作我的子民。
17又說:
你們務要從他們中間出來,與他們分別;
不要沾不潔淨的物,我就收納你們。
(林後 6:14-17)
[S]o we, being many, are one body in Christ,
and individually members of one another.
(Rom 12:5)
5我們這許多人,在基督裡成為一身,
互相聯絡作肢體,也是如此。
(羅 12:5)
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?
Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot?
Certainly not!
Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her?
For" The two," He says,
"shall become one flesh."
But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.
(1Cor 6:15-17)
15豈不知你們的身子是基督的肢體麼?
我可以將基督的肢體作為娼妓的肢體麼?
斷乎不可!
16豈不知與娼妓聯合的,便是與他成為一體麼?
因為主說﹕二人要成為一體。
17但與主聯合的,便是與主成為一靈。
(林前 6:15-17)
So we see, with respect to the sacred rite of marriage,
God"s primary concern is not" chemistry" or" character"
but" cleanliness."
It really does not matter
if this person is a devout and chaste Christian.
Until he or she receives the one true baptism,
this person is still unclean in God"s eyes.
所以我們可見,關於婚姻神聖的儀式而言,
神最重視的並非“感覺化學反應”或“人品”,
而是“潔淨”。
那其實不重要,
若這人是一位虔誠貞潔的基督徒。
直到他或她接受了真正唯一的洗禮,
在神眼中,這人仍是沒有潔淨。
4) Having a spouse that serves other gods
will cause us to fall away from serving the one true God
4) 有服事其他神祇的配偶,
會導致我們遠離事奉獨一真神。
"Nor shall you make marriages with them.
You shall not give your daughter to their son,
nor take their daughter for your son.
For they will turn your sons away from following Me,
to serve other gods;
so the anger of the Lord will be aroused against you
and destroy you suddenly."
(Deut 7:3, 4)
“3不可與他們結親。
不可將你的女兒嫁他們的兒子,
也不可叫你的兒子娶他們的女兒;
4因為他必使你兒子轉離不跟從主,
去事奉別神,
以致耶和華的怒氣向你們發作,
就速速地將你們滅絕。”
(申 7:3-4)
But King Solomon loved many foreign women,
as well as the daughter of Pharaoh:
women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites
from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel,
"You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you.
For surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods."
Solomon clung to these in love.
And"he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines;
and his wives turned away his heart.
For it was so, when Solomon was old,
that his wives turned his heart after other gods;
and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God,
as was the heart of his father David.
(1 Kgs 11:1-4)
1所羅門王在法老的女兒之外,
又寵愛許多外邦女子,
就是摩押女子,亞捫女子,以東女子,西頓女子,赫人女子。
2論到這些國的人,耶和華曾曉諭以色列人說:
你們不可與他們往來相通
,因為他們必誘惑你們的心去隨從他們的神。
所羅門卻戀愛這些女子。
3所羅門有妃七百,都是公主;還有嬪三百。
這些妃嬪誘惑他的心。
4所羅門年老的時候,
他的妃嬪誘惑他的心去隨從別神,
不效法他父親大衛誠誠實實地順服耶和華─他的神。
(王上 11:1-4)
Are we wiser and mightier than Solomon?
Marriage is the most intimate relationship on earth,
and our spouse will no doubt have the most profound influence
on our spiritual growth or downfall.
我們可比所羅門更有智慧,更強大嗎?
婚姻是世上最親密的關係,
我們的配偶無疑會產生最深遠的影響,
會導致我們靈性成長或墮落。
5) Mixed marriages hinder our ability to raise godly children,
which is an important function of marriage and the responsibility of parents
5)異教聯姻會阻礙我們養育敬虔子女的能力,
而這既是婚姻重要的功能,也是父母的責任。
But did He not make them one,
having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit,
and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
(Mal 2:15)
15雖然神有靈的餘力能造多人,
他不是單造一人麼?
為何只造一人呢?
乃是他願人得虔誠的後裔。
所以當謹守你們的心,
誰也不可以詭詐待幼年所娶的妻。
(瑪 2:15)
In those days I also saw Jews
who had married women of Ashdod, Ammon, and Moab.
And half of their children spoke the language of Ashdod,
and could not speak the language of Judah,
but spoke according to the language of one or the other people.
So I contended with them and cursed them,
struck some of them and pulled out their hair,
and made them swear by God, saying,
"You shall not give your daughters as wives to their sons,
nor take their daughters for your sons or yourselves.
Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things?"
Yet among many nations there was no king like him,
who was beloved of his God;
and God made him king over all Israel.
Nevertheless pagan women caused even him to sin.
Should we then hear of your doing all this great evil,
transgressing against our God by marrying pagan women?
(Neh 13:23-27)
23那些日子,我也見猶大人
娶了亞實突,亞捫,摩押的女子為妻。
24他們的兒女說話,一半是亞實突的話,
不會說猶大的話,
所說的是照著各族的方言。
25我就斥責他們,咒詛他們,
打了他們幾個人,拔下他們的頭髮,
叫他們指著神起誓,
必不將自己的女兒嫁給外邦人的兒子,
也不為自己和兒子娶他們的女兒。
26我又說:以色列王所羅門不是在這樣的事上犯罪麼?
在多國中並沒有一王像他,
且蒙他神所愛,
神立他作以色列全國的王;
然而連他也被外邦女子引誘犯罪。
27如此,我豈聽你們行這大惡,
娶外邦女子干犯我們的神呢?
(尼 13:23-27)
This marital decision is not just about us
and what we want for our lives.
When our spouse does not esteem the Lord,
it impacts our ability to bring up the child
whom God had entrusted us to raise in a God-fearing manner.
這個婚姻的決定不僅只關乎我們自己,
以及我們想要自已生活的追求。
當我們的配偶不會敬畏神,
這會影響我們的能力去養大孩子,
他們是神託付給我們,要養成敬畏神的方式。
So we come to this understanding
—that it is not a trivial matter,
but a great evil and abomination in God"s eyes,
that the people He had sanctified
and for whom He made such sacrifice
should again defile themselves with the unclean peoples of the world
in sexual immorality, mixed marriages,
and rearing children that do not honor God.
因此我們得出這種理解:
—這不是一件芝麻小事,
而是神眼中極大的罪惡和可憎之事,
祂潔淨分別為聖的子民,
為了他們祂付出如此巨大的犧牲,
竟與世上那不潔之人再次玷污自己,
陷於淫亂,異教通婚,
並生養那不榮耀神的兒女。
The Bible teaches in unambiguous terms that,
as children of God,
having been sanctified by the precious blood of our Lord Jesus Christ,
we should remain separate from the unclean and unsanctified.
Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit,
which dwells in us,
and we are not to defile this holy temple by committing sexual immorality
in uniting with an unbeliever, Gentile, pagan, or unclean person.
聖經以沒有模糊詞彙來教導,
身為神的兒女,
已藉著我們主耶穌基督的寶血潔淨分別為聖,
我們就應遠離那不潔淨及沒有成聖之人。
我們的身體是聖靈的殿,
聖靈住在我們裡面,
我們不可玷污這聖殿,去進行淫亂,
與不信之人,外邦人,異教徒或不潔淨之人聯姻,。
IS DATING AN UNBELIEVER SIN? 交往未信者犯罪嗎?
Now that we have completed our review of the sanctity of marriage,
let us return to the original question
—is it morally acceptable to date an unbeliever?
If we have completely followed through the logic
—that dating results in deeper mutual feelings,
which is the typical precursor to marriage,
and that marriage to a Gentile is unacceptable in God"s eye
—then we must all agree
that it would not be wise to start weaving this complicated web.
如今我們即已經完成自已婚姻聖潔的探討,
就讓我們回到最初的問題,
—交往未信者是否在道德上可以接受呢?
如果我們已完全順著以下邏輯,
—交往會導致更深相互的感情,
那就是婚姻的典型先兆,
並且嫁娶未信者在神眼中是不可接受的,
—那我們就必會一致認為,
現在就開始編織這張複雜的情網是很不明智的。
We often think about sexual immorality
as the physical act of adultery or fornication,
but our Lord Jesus explains
that the sinful deed begins in our heart,
"For out of the heart proceed
evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies"
(Mt 15:19).
我們常常認為淫行,
是指通淫亂和苟合的肉體行為,
但我們的主耶穌解釋,
罪行始於自已內心,
“19因為從心裡發出來的,
有惡念,兇殺,姦淫,苟合,偷盜,妄證,謗讟。”
(太 15:19)
Consider the commandment prohibiting adultery.
Jesus said that
"whoever looks at a woman to lust for her
has already committed adultery with her in his heart"
(Mt 5:28, emphasis added).
The Greek word for lust is epithumeo,
meaning to have a strong longing for or desire for something.
It is sin to lust for that which God has already forbidden,
even within the private confines of our heart.
請考量誡命是禁止姦淫。
耶穌說:
“28凡看見婦女就動淫念的,
這人心裡已經與他犯姦淫了。”
(太 5:28,加入強調)。
性慾的希臘文就是 epithumeo,
意思就是強烈渴望或渴求某物。
慾求那些神已禁止的事物就是罪,
即使在我們內心隱密的深處。
For example, God has forbidden adultery;
therefore it is sin to lust after your neighbor"s spouse.
God has forbidden incest,
so it is sin to have sexual thoughts about one"s own sibling.
God has forbidden homosexual activity,
so it is sin to have romantic feelings for someone of the same sex.
These are all examples of sins
that have not been physically acted out but still defile our heart.
例如,神禁止淫亂;
因此,心動貪戀你鄰居的配偶就是罪。
神禁止亂倫,
所以,對自己的手足動淫念就是罪。
神禁止同性戀行為,
所以,愛戀同性的某個人就是罪。
這些都是罪的例子,
雖然未曾肉體付諸行動,但仍玷污我們內心。
And let us remember Apostle James' warning
that if these lustful thoughts are left to fester,
they will lead to more regrettable actions and unfortunate consequences.
Recall the tragic stories of David and Bathsheba,
and of Amnon and Tamar.
Consider how the narratives would have changed
if David had turned away after seeing Bathsheba bathing
or if Amnon had immediately repented of his impure thoughts for his sister.
讓我們謹記使徒雅各的警告:
若任由這些慾念滋長,
他們將導致更多令人後悔的行為和不幸的後果。
回想大衛與拔示巴的悲劇故事,
以及暗嫩和他瑪的故事。
想想這些故事又會如何改變呢?
如果大衛看見拔示巴沐浴後就轉身離開,
或者如果暗嫩立刻悔改他對自已妹妹不潔的念頭。
We finally arrive at this central point
—it is sin to desire and date an unbeliever,
as it is sin to desire someone of the same sex,
another person"s spouse, or your close relative.
It is sin on the simple basis
that God has forbidden it,
and if we have learned any lesson from Adam and Eve,
we ought not to long for what God has already explicitly forbidden.
Let us instead keep our faith simple and minds pure
and no longer entertain the idea of having a romantic relationship
outside of the body of Christ.
我們最終來到這一個中心點:
—渴望交往未信者就是罪,
正如戀慕同性某個人,
別人的配偶,或是你的近親一樣。
基於這一簡單的依據就是罪,
因為神已禁止它了。
若我們有從亞當和夏娃學到任何教訓,
自已就不該愛戀神已經明確禁止的對象。
讓我們反過來保持自已信心的單純與心靈的純潔,
不再抱持發展這種戀愛關係的想法,
在基督的身體外。
DEALING WITH TEMPTATION 應對誘惑
Why did God put a luscious fruit tree in the Garden of Eden
and then tell Adam and Eve not to eat of it?
And why was God so cruel,
bringing this attractive person to me
and then restricting our interaction?
為何神安置一棵甜美果樹在伊甸園,
然後又告訴亞當夏娃不准吃呢?
神為何如此殘忍,
帶這位有魅力的人到我身邊,
然後又限制我們的交往?
James writes plainly that God does not tempt anyone
(Jas 1:13).
Apostle John reiterates,
"For all that is in the world
X the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life
Xis not of the Father but is of the world"
(1 Jn 2:16, emphasis added).
雅各書明白寫著,神不會試探任何人。
(雅 1:13)
使徒約翰重申:
“16因為凡世界上的事,
—就像肉體的情慾,眼目的情慾,並今生的驕傲,
—都不是從父來的,乃是從世界來的。”
(約壹 2:16,加入強調)
All temptations come from the tempter himself, Satan.
He uses these choice weapons of lust
because they are effective in enticing humans to sin,
which, if left unchecked,
will accomplish Satan"s goal of our spiritual death.
一切誘惑都來自誘惑者本身,撒旦。
他利用這些精選的情慾武器,
因為它們可有效的引誘人犯罪,
而如果放著不受抱束,
就會完成撒旦的目的,使我們靈命死亡。
But each one is tempted
when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.
Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin;
and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
(Jas 1:14, 15)
14但各人被試探,
乃是被自己的私慾牽引誘惑的。
15私慾既懷了胎,就生出罪來;
罪既長成,就生出死來。
(雅 1:14-15)
Carefully guard the heart
—do not let any impure thoughts linger,
but cast them out without delay
like one would a demon from his body.
If the feelings do not immediately subside,
do not be like Amnon and seek council from an ungodly friend,
but pray for God"s help to purge this impurity from our heart.
要謹慎保守你心。
—不要讓任何不潔的念頭停留,
反而要立即趕出它們,
就像人會把魔鬼趕出身體一樣。
如果這種感情沒有立刻消退,
不要像暗嫩那樣,去詢問不敬虔的朋友,
而是要祈求神的幫助,來潔淨我們心中的污穢。
Seek a brother or sister you trust to share this burden
and strengthen you in prayer.
Do not try to be strong,
keep this matter concealed,
and fend off Satan alone.
尋找一位你信任的弟兄或姐妹,來同承這份重擔,
並在禱告中堅固你。
不要試圖獨自堅強,
將此事隱瞞,
獨自抵擋撒旦。
My husband was formerly a social worker
and once had a female client
who made a pass at him.
As a counselor, it was not out of the ordinary for clients
to develop feelings of affection toward him,
always to his indifference.
But this particular case was different,
and he felt uncomfortable in her presence.
我先生以前是一個社工,
曾經有一位女客戶,
她想勾引他。
身為諮商師,客戶有好感並沒有特別異常,
去發展出對他的情感。
但他總是很冷淡。
但這個特殊案例不一樣,
他在她面前覺得很不自在。
He sought a pastor for counsel,
and the first thing the pastor told him to do was,
"Go home and tell your wife."
So that evening, he confided in me,
and we prayed together for God"s wisdom and guidance.
Satan no longer had a heel to grab on,
and for no explainable reason,
the alluring woman never visited my husband again.
他去尋找牧師輔導,
牧師告訴他第一件要作的事就是,
“回家告訴你的妻子。”
那天晚上,他向我傾訴了一切,
我們一起禱告求神賜下智慧和引導。
撒旦就不再有機會得逞,
而且,不知何故,
那诱惑的女人不再來求診我先生。
Now what the devil wants a person to do in this situation
is to keep the embarrassing matter a secret from his spouse
so that the devil can grab him at an opportune time
when he is isolated and spiritually weak.
如今在這種情況下,魔鬼想要人做的,
就是讓他保守這種尷尬情況成為秘密,不讓他配偶知道,
好讓魔鬼能在適當的時機抓住他;
直到他孤單靈性軟弱時。
The Bible admonishes,
"Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall"
(1Cor 10:12),
and Mark Twain wrote,
"There are several good protections against temptation,
but the surest is cowardice."
In short, when it comes to temptation,
we are to flee from it, not fight it.
聖經勸勉我們,
“12自己以為站得穩的,須要謹慎,免得跌倒。”
(林前 10:12)
而馬克吐溫也寫道,
“有很多好方法可抵禦誘惑,
但最穩妥的莫過於怯懦。 ”
簡言之,面對誘惑時,
我們應該逃避它,而非與之對抗。
That is not to say
that we should run away from anyone we meet
who happens to be of the opposite sex,
for they may very well be a chosen child of God
for whom we were sent to lead to the path of salvation.
It so happens that my husband came to the True Jesus Church
because a sister casually invited him to a Bible study.
這並不是說,
我們應該躲避自已遇到的任何人,
他們剛好就是異性,
因為他們可能剛好就是神所揀選的孩子,
我們被差遣來引領他們走上救贖之路。
碰巧的是,我丈夫來到真耶穌教會,
因為有一位姐妹偶然邀請他參加查經。
WHAT ABOUT "MISSIONARY DATING"?
那麼“傳道式約會”呢?
Let us revisit the survey results.
One has to wonder,
how is it that the same people who believe
it is not acceptable to marry an unbeliever
feel that it may be acceptable to date one?
Why would a Christian risk being romantically involved with a person
that they know they cannot marry?
讓我們重新檢視調查結果。
大家應該要想,
怎麼會這樣,同一群人他們認為,
嫁聚未信者是不可接受的,
怎會覺得,交往未信者是可以接受的呢?
為何基督徒會冒險與一個人談戀愛,
而他們知道他們不能一起結婚呢?
The primary reason is
that they have already become emotionally attracted to this person
and are unwilling to turn back from following after him or her.
It is always painful after opening up your heart,
and that is why the wisest council offered is prevention
—to repent immediately from a lustful thought
and not let it get to the point
where one has to choose between honoring God or this significant other.
But if one must choose,
then let us choose the One
who gave His life for us and is worthy of our adoration.
主要原因是,
他們已經對這人產生依戀,
並且不願撤回去追隨他/她。
敞開心扉後總是很痛苦,
那就是為何,可見最明智的建議就是預防。
—立即悔改,摒棄慾念,
不要讓事情發展到某程程度,
那時個人必須在敬畏神與這重要伴侶之間作選擇。
但若個人必須做選擇,
那就讓我們選擇那獨一神,
祂為我們捨命、配得我們敬拜。
For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
He is called the God of the whole earth.
(Isa 54:5)
5因為造你的是你的丈夫;萬軍之耶和華是他的名。
救贖你的是以色列的聖者;
他必稱為全地之神。
(賽 54:5)
God is our first husband,
and our faithfulness should be first and foremost towards Him.
If we truly love our Lord and believe
that He is worthy to be worshipped,
then we will be faithful to Him,
even if it means sacrificing some things that are important to us.
However blissful, it is still only temporary.
神是我們的第一任丈夫,
我們應首先忠貞於祂。
如果我們真愛我們的主,並相信,
祂配得受敬拜,
然後我們就會忠於祂,
即使這代表了犧牲某些對我們很重要的事。
無論有多幸福,那仍只是暫時的。
Even the best marriages on earth will one day dissolve,
because God designed marriage to be a temporary relationship,
as it is with all our relationships on earth.
Whether it be with family or friends
—they all end as soon as we die.
The only everlasting relationship is our marriage with God
and the fellowship we share with those joined in the kingdom of heaven.
即使是世上最美好的婚姻,也會有一天消逝,
因為神設計婚姻是一種暫時的關係,
正如我們一切世上的關係。
無論它是與家人或朋友的關係,
—他們都會結束,只要我們離世。
那唯一永恆的關係就是我們與神的盟約,
以及我們與那些加入天國之人的團契交流。
A second reason members date unbelievers may reside in the hope
that the unbeliever will convert in the process.
The optimistic point of view is that,
sooner or later, their boyfriend or girlfriend will embrace God, become baptized,
and then they could lawfully be married.
信徒與未信者交往的第二個原因可能會存在希望,
這未信者會在過程中改信。
樂觀的看法認為,
他們的男女朋友遲早會接擁抱神,受洗,
然後他們就可以合聖經原則結婚了。
We can probably point out a number of faithful brothers and sisters
who happily came to the Lord after dating and marrying our church members,
but it is absolutely critical in this matter
that we separate and do not confuse God"s grace and mercy
from His sovereign and explicit will,
as expressed in His written word.
我們或許可指出一些忠心的弟兄姐妹,
他們很快樂歸向主在與我們教會信徒交往結婚後,
但這件事絕對是至關重要的,
我們要分開,不要混淆神的恩典和憐憫,
分別祂主權且明確的旨意,
如祂筆下聖經所表達的。
A great biblical analogy is in the story of Jacob.
Was it God"s will for Jacob to receive God"s blessings?
Yes.
Was it God"s will for Jacob to cheat, lie, and steal in order to receive it?
Of course not.
雅各的故事是一個很好的聖經比喻。
神的旨意是希望雅各得到祝福嗎?
是的。
神的旨意是希望雅各為了得到祝福而欺騙,說謊,偷竊嗎?
當然不是。
Like many of us, Jacob lacked patience.
Yes, it is God"s will
that all men come to believe and be saved,
including the unbeliever you may be dating,
but it is also positively against God"s will
that we should enter into a sinful relationship
in the name of accomplishing His will.
像我們許多人一樣,雅各缺乏耐心。
是的,那是神的旨意
願所有人都來相主得救,
包括了你可能正在交往的未信者,
但這也很明確的違背了神的旨意,
我們就該進入一種得罪神的關係,
且以完成祂旨意的名義。
How can we expect to shine as a light to this Gentile
if we are an accomplice to their darkness?
We often forget that God is God
and has other means and methods to draw those He has chosen to Himself
that would require no assistance on our part.
So let us forget about converting someone through" missionary dating."
我們怎能指望去發光成為這外邦社會的一盞燈,
如果我們是他們罪惡的幫兇呢?
我們常常忘記,神是神,
祂有其他途徑與方法來吸引祂已揀選之人歸向祂,
而不會需要我們這方的協助。
所以讓我們放棄透過“傳教交往”來帶某人信主。
We are instructed, instead,
to be wary and guarded
when preaching to others,
"but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire,
hating even the garment defiled by the flesh"
(Jude 23).
我們反而受到教導,
要很謹慎警醒,
在向他人宣道時,
“23有些人你們要從火中搶出來,搭救他們;
有些人你們要存懼怕的心憐憫他們,
連那被情慾沾染的衣服也當厭惡。”
(猶 23)
But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection,
lest, when I have preached to others,
I myself should become disqualified.
(1 Cor 9:27)
27我是攻克己身,叫身服我,
恐怕我傳福音給別人,
自己反被棄絕了。
(林前 9:27)
SEPARATING THE "IDEAL" FROM THE" FOR REAL"
區分“理想”與“認真實現”
This may all sound very pithy and idealistic,
but it is a frustrating exercise trying to reconcile the" ideal" from the" for real,"
particularly when what we read in Scripture
and hear from the pulpit is at odds with what is actually practiced
and generally accepted at large.
這一切聽起來或許很精闢也很理想化,
但要調和“理想”與“認真實現”反而是一件令人沮喪的舉動,
尤其是我們在聖經中所讀到的,
以及從講台上所聽到的,與實際的行為有所不同,
與大家普遍接受的觀念違背。
The reality is that we are all sinners,
and as sinners, what we know and believe
is often incongruent to how we actually behave.
But unlike fallen man,
we can trust that the Bible will never contradict itself.
So as Paul wisely admonished young Timothy,
事實是,我們都是罪人,
身為罪人,我們所知道及所相信的,
與我們實際的行為常常不一致。
但與墮落的人不同,
我們可以信賴聖經永不會自相矛盾。
所以就如保羅很明智勸勉年輕的提摩太,
Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine.
Continue in them,
for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.
(1 Tim 4:16)
16你要謹慎自己和自己的教訓,
要在這些事上恆心;
因為這樣行,又能救自己,又能救聽你的人。
(提前 4:16)
God is truth, and as true worshippers,
we must worship Him in undiluted truth.
Faith without truth is
like salt that has lost its flavor.
We must hold fast to the truth that we have received
as if we were holding on for dear life,
for if we let go of what is true,
we no longer have a foundation
on which our faith and church can stand.
神就是真理,而作為真正敬拜者,
我們必須以毫無摻雜的真理來敬拜祂。
信仰沒有真理就是,
像鹽失去了味道。
我們必須緊抓住自已以前領受的真理,
如同我們拼命抓住生命一樣,
因為如果我們放手真實的事物,
我們就失去了根基,
對於自已那種信仰和教會可以經得起考驗。
A final note on love
—the highest kind of love is not the attraction felt between a man and a woman
but the most selfless manifestation
as described in 1 Corinthians chapter 13.
We should thoughtfully consider
the impact of our romantic interludes
on the many other stakeholders besides us and the person we are in love with.
關於愛的最後一個重點
—最高尚類型的愛,並非男女之間感受的吸引力,
而是最無私的表現,
正如哥林多前書第 13 章所描述的。
我們應該認真思考,
我們浪漫邂逅的衝擊,
會影響許多其他的關係人,除了我們自已及我們相戀的對象之外。
Mixed marriages anger God,
negatively impact the faith of our future children,
and weaken the family and church.
If we have always been faithful,
let us continue to be faithful to the end.
If we are at the onset of developing romantic feelings for a Gentile,
let us repent and ask God to help us purge this sin from our heart.
If we are currently involved in a relationship with an unbeliever,
let us seek godly counsel.
異教通婚會觸怒神,
會有負面衝擊我們未來孩子的信心,
並削弱家庭和教會。
如果我們一直很有信心,
就讓我們保持信心直到最後。
如果我們正開始對未信者產生感情,
讓我們悔改,祈求神幫助我們從自已內心潔淨這罪。
如果我們目前正與未信者交往中,
就讓我們尋求符合聖經的勸勉。
小頁 markvmax@hotmail.com
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