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2. Manna issue 58 - Seek and You Shall Find 尋找你就必尋見

My journey to belief and baptism.

Susan Lu—Johor Bahru, Malaysia 馬來西亞新山

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, 
thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, 
and I will listen to you. 
And you will seek me and find Me, 
when you search for Me with all your heart.” 
(Jer 29:11-13)

“11耶和華說：我知道我向你們所懷的意念是賜平安的意念，
不是降災禍的意念，要叫你們末後有指望。
12你們要呼求我，禱告我，
我就應允你們。
13你們尋求我，若專心尋求我，就必尋見。”
（耶 29：11-13）

SCARED BUT INTERESTED 可怕但有趣

I was born into a staunchly Buddhist family. 
I did not like Christians in general 
as I felt they always criticized other religions, 
but I still had a few friends who were Christians. 
Two of them were from the True Jesus Church.

我出生於一個堅定的佛教家庭。
我通常不喜歡基督徒，
我覺得他們總會批評其他宗教，
但我仍有一些基督徒的朋友。
其中兩人來自真耶穌教會。

My first visit to True Jesus Church happened in 2000 
when my friend, Alice, from secondary school 
invited me to an evangelistic meeting at True Jesus Church
Elopura, Sandakan, Sabah. 
I attended the service together with a few of my friends.
We were astonished and scared during the prayer session.

我第一次造訪真耶穌教會發生在 2000 年，
當我的中學朋友愛麗絲，
邀請我去真耶穌教會參加一場福音茶會，
在沙巴山打根伊羅布拉 (Elopura)。
我和幾個朋友一起參加這次聚會。
在祈禱時我們都受到驚訝和感到害怕。

Although it was “scary,” 
I was convinced that it was a true spirit 
because Alice had received that spirit. 
She did not behave strangely or suspiciously. 
She could still give me logical advice 
and was a good friend with whom I could share everything. 
So, I decided to go again the next day. 
I invited another friend to go along 
because I wanted to see how the people prayed again. 
I had been scared, but I was also interested!

雖然那很“可怕”，
我深信那是一種真的顯靈，
因為愛麗絲已經得到了那種聖靈。
她的行為舉止並沒有很奇怪或讓人覺得可疑。
她仍可以給我有邏輯的建議，
是一個我可以與之分享一切的好朋友。
所以，我決定隔天再去。
我邀請了另一個朋友一起去，
因為我想再看看大家是怎麼禱告的。
我曾經很害怕，但又很感興趣！

A few months later, Alice approached me, saying that, 
given our closeness, she would feel very bad 
if she owned something precious but did not share it with me. 
The precious thing that she had in mind was the gospel. 
Then, she started to preach to me. 
I asked her many questions, 
especially about why True Jesus Church was so different from other churches.

幾個月之後，愛麗絲找到我，說：
由於我們很熟，她會感到很難過，
如果她擁有某些珍貴的好東西，但卻沒與我分享。
她心中所擁有最珍貴的東西就是福音。
然後，她開始向我傳道。
我問了她很多問題，
尤其是有關為什麼真耶穌教會與其他教會對比是如此的不同。

After that conversation, with my curiosity satisfied, 
I did not bring up the topic of religion again. 
I was still a practicing Buddhist, 
sure that the deities I had been worshipping truly existed. 
However, Alice had gotten me to think 
that perhaps Jesus Christ existed, too. 
But, in 2001, we soon went to separate institutions for tertiary studies and rarely met.

經過那次談話，我的好奇心得到滿足，
我就再沒有提起過宗教的話題。
我還是一個修行的佛教徒，
很確定的是我一直崇拜的神靈確實存在。
然而，愛麗絲卻讓我思考，
也許耶穌基督也是存在的。
但在 2001 年，我們便很快各自去不同的高等教育院校，而且很少見面。

WORSHIPPING A DIFFERENT GOD 敬拜一位不同的神

One reason my family relied so much on Buddhist gods 
was because of the great financial pressures we faced. 
In 1994, my father was cheated by his business partner 
and had to declare bankruptcy.

我家如此依賴佛教神明的一個原因，
就是因為我們面臨了巨大的財務壓力。
1994 年，我父親被他商業夥伴欺騙了，
並且必需宣布破產。

With my father jobless for almost eight years, 
my parents looked to these Buddhist gods for deliverance. 
During this time, my aunt introduced a new god, 
one worshipped by Japanese Buddhists, to my family and me.

由於我父親失業將近八年，
我父母祈求這些佛教神明想得到拯救。
在此期間，我姑姑介紹了一位新的神，
那是一尊日本佛教徒敬拜的神明，給我和家人。

I did not know the origin of the god or anything else about him. 
I only knew how to pray to him by reading a text given by my aunt. 
According to her, we just had to tell the god all of the things 
that we wished to have, and he would give them to us.

我不知道這位神的起源或有關它的任何事。
我只知道要如何向它祈禱，經由頌讀姑姑給的經文。
據她說，我們只需要告訴神所有的事情，
我們希望得到的東西，祂都會給我們。

As a result, this Japanese god was added to the Buddhist pantheon that we had at home. 
My parents worshipped the newest addition whole-heartedly 
because they hoped that the god could resolve all of their financial difficulties. 
But after a year of prayers to him, 
their situation did not improve, so they stopped worshipping him.

因此，這位日本神明被加到我家有的佛教神壇。
我們在家裡有的。
我父母全心崇拜最新入的神明，
因為他們希望神能解決他們所有的經濟困境。
但經過一年向它禱告，
他們的情況並沒有改善，所以他們停止拜它。

On the other hand, things went smoothly for me. 
In 2001, I obtained good grades in the Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia 
(Malaysian Higher School Certificate), 
an examination taken by students to gain admission to Malaysia’s public universities. 
On top of that, I even won a scholarship to further my studies 
at the Science University of Malaysia.

另一方面，我的事情進展得很順利。
2001 年，我在馬來西亞高等教育文憑STPM得到了好成績，
（馬來西亞高中畢業證書），
是一種學進行的考試，來取得馬來西亞公立大學錄取。
除那之上，我甚側還獲得了獎學金來繼續深造，
在馬來西亞理科大學。

I thus relied on the Japanese god more and more, 
trusting that he could fulfill my every wish. 
I never missed saying my prayers to him every night before I went to bed.

因此我越來越依賴日本的神祇，
相信它能夠實現我每一個願望。
我每天晚上睡覺前都沒有錯過向他頌讀祈禱。

I kept on worshipping this god in university. 
When I found out that one of my roommates had family problems,
I introduced the god to her so that she could receive his blessings, too. 
She told me that she had learned about this god
when she had a vacation job in Singapore.

我在大學時一直都拜這個神。
當我發現自已一位室友有家庭問題時，
我向她介紹了這位神明，好讓她也能得到它的祝福。
她告訴我她已經得知了這位神祇，
當她在新加坡從事一份度假工作時。

Her friend’s uncle had prayed earnestly to this god 
and received everything that he asked for. 
But one day his son died.

她朋友的叔叔曾經很虔誠向這位神祈禱，
並得到了他所要祈求的一切。
但有一天他的兒子死了。

He approached the leader of this religion 
and asked why such a terrible thing had happened to him. 
The leader then explained that it was only fair:
since the god had given him so many good things, 
he would definitely take something back from him in exchange.

他接近了這個宗教的領袖，
且詢問為何如此可怕的事情會發生在他身上。
領袖隨後解釋說這樣才是公平的：
因為神已經給了他很多的好東西，
它一定會交換從他那裡拿一些東西回來。

I was astonished and started to have doubts about this god. 
I shared my unease with my aunt, 
but she convinced me there was nothing to worry about 
and told me to just continue praying to him.

我感到很震驚，開始懷疑這個神。
我把自已的不安告訴我姑姑，
但她說服我相信沒什麼好擔心的，
並告訴我只要繼續向他祈禱。

Around that time, my grandma was diagnosed with colon cancer 
and had to undergo surgery. 
I loved my grandma very much, 
and I was very worried that the Japanese god would take her life away 
in return for the many good things I had received. 
I confided my worries to my younger sister, 
who was also praying faithfully to him, 
and both of us decided to stop praying to the god.

那時，我奶奶被診斷出罹患結腸癌，
並必須接受手術。
我很愛我的奶奶，
我很擔心日本的神明會奪走她的生命，
作為我得到諸多好處的回報。
我向小妹吐露了自已的憂慮，
祂也很虔誠的向它祈禱，
我們倆都決定不再向神祈禱了。

COMING BACK TO JESUS 回歸耶穌

After ceasing my worship around the end of 2002, I was at a loss. 
I did not know which god to turn to.

在 2002 年底左右我停止崇拜之後，自已感到很茫然。
我不知道該轉向哪位神來求助。

One day, while enjoying a rare chat with Alice, 
I told her the whole story. 
She then told me that the true God is generous. 
If He gives us something, He won’t take it back from us. 
As the Creator, everything belongs to Him. 
He has no need to be so calculating with man.

有一天，正在與愛麗絲享受著難得聊天的時候，
我把整個故事都告訴了她。
她接著告訴我，真神是很慷慨的。
如果祂賜給我們一些東西，祂就不會從我們這裡收回它。
身為造物主，一切都屬於祂。
祂沒必要跟人這麼斤斤計較。

She invited me to pray to Jesus Christ.
I brushed this invitation off
—although I had been to church with her, 
I thought I should remain faithful to my Buddhist gods. 
But her statement of a generous God gave me much food for thought.

她邀請我向耶穌基督禱告。
我拒絕了這個請求，
—儘管我一直都與她一起去教會，
我認為自已應該對佛教神祇保持忠誠。
但是她關於神仁慈的言論卻給了我很多思考的空間。

After some time, I came to a decision.
This Japanese god was frightening. 
He could help me
—but at a price. 
Buddha, whom my family had traditionally worshipped, 
did not seem powerful enough to help me.

過了一段時間後，我做了一個決定。
這個日本神明很可怕。
它可以幫助我，
—但要付出代價。
佛陀，是我家傳統崇拜的，
似乎沒有足夠的力量來幫助我。

On the other hand, 
Alice seemed to have received such abundant blessings from her God. 
Perhaps this God would also bless me if I prayed to Him. 
I decided there was no harm in trying.

另一方面，
愛麗絲彷彿從神得到無比豐盛的祝福。
如果我向祂祈禱的話，也許這位神也會祝福我。
我認為嘗試一下也沒有壞處。

So I asked my other friend from True Jesus Church how to pray to Jesus.
From that day, I prayed only to Him. 
I prayed every night before I went to bed,
and I started to feel His presence. 
That semester, I scored the highest marks in class 
and was rewarded with RM500 cash. 
That was the first time I said, “Thank God.”

於是我問真耶穌教會另一位朋友詢，要如何向耶穌禱告。
從那天起，我只向祂禱告。
我每晚睡覺前都會禱告，
我開始感受到祂的存在。
那個學期，我得到全班最高的成績，
並獲得 RM500 現金獎勵。
那是我第一次說，“感謝上帝”。

I started to seek the truth. 
I emailed Alice and asked her questions 
in order to learn more about Christianity. 
Not only did she answer my questions, 
she gave me a Bible for my birthday. 
It was just the right present at the right time. 
All this while, I had wanted to own one 
but never took the step of going to buy it for myself.

我開始追求真理。
我給愛麗絲寫了一封電子郵件，問了她一些問題，
以便更了解更多有關基督教。
她不僅回答了我的問題，
她送我生日一本聖經。
這真正好是正確時間的正確禮物。
一直以來，我一直都想有一本，
但從未踏出去一步給自己去購買它。

I received the Bible around the time of our examination period. 
I would read it whenever I felt bored with the reading materials for my exams. 
Of the sixtysix books in the Bible, 
1 Corinthians really attracted me. 
There were so many valuable teachings in there 
that I had never learned in my original religion! 
I even invited my friends to read with me.
They were all shocked 
that I would rather read the Bible than lecture notes during the peak exam season. 
They thought I had taken leave of my senses!

我在大約我們考試期間收到了這本聖經。
每當我對考試的閱讀材料感到厭煩時，我就會讀聖經。
在聖經 66 卷書中，
哥林多前書確實吸引我。
那其中有很多寶貴的教誨，
那是在我原來的宗教裡從未學過的！
我甚至邀請自已的朋友和我一起讀經。
他們都很震驚，
在考試高峰期間，我寧願閱讀聖經，也不願閱讀課堂講義。
他們都以為我已經失去了理智！

After one year of studying the Bible on my own, 
I told Alice that I wanted to go to church. 
She helped me contact a member at the church nearest my university.

經過一年自已獨自查經後，
我告訴愛麗絲我想要去教會。
她幫助我聯繫了離我大學最近教會的一位信徒。

And thus, it was a brother from Butterworth Church 
who came to drive me to church 
and a sister who sent me back to university every Saturday. 
I felt embarrassed because my hostel was very far away from church, 
but Alice told me that they were more than happy to give me a ride.

因此，那是一位來自北海教會的兄弟，
他開車送我去教會，
還有一個姐妹，每週六都會送我回大學。
我覺得很尷尬，因為我的宿舍離教會很遠，
但愛麗絲告訴我，他們非常樂意載我一程。

Gradually, I had the feeling 
that I should  go to church every Saturday. 
Sometimes, even if no one was free to drive me to church, 
I would take a bus there by myself. 
As I learned more about the Holy Spirit, 
I became scared about death 
because I knew that without the Holy Spirit, I could not go to heaven. 
I started to pray earnestly for the Holy Spirit.

漸漸地，我有感覺，
我應該每個星期六都去教會。
有時候，即使沒人有空開車送我去教會，
我會自己搭公車去那裡。
當我更了解聖靈之時，
我開始會害怕死亡，
因為我知道，若沒有聖靈，我就不能上天國。
我開始認真的祈求聖靈。

I also had discussions with other Christian friends about their beliefs 
because I was so curious to know why there were so many different denominations. 
Through all the debates, I concluded that 
only the True Jesus Church practices everything according to the Bible.

我也與其他基督徒朋友討論有關他們的信仰，
因為我很好奇想知道為什麼有這麼多不同的教派。
透過所有的辯論，我得出結論，
只有真耶穌教會一切行為都依照聖經。

I went to a Methodist church once with my friend. 
I asked her about the Holy Spirit, 
but she told me she did not know what it was all about. 
I was very surprised as she had definitely read the Bible more than I had.

我曾經與朋友去過一間衛理公會教堂。
我問她關於聖靈的事，
但她告訴我她不知道這一切是怎麼回事。
我覺得很驚訝，因為她讀過的聖經肯定比我多。

I wanted to show her the Bible passages concerning the Holy Spirit, 
but I did not know where they were. 
Miraculously, when I opened the Bible, 
it was exactly at Acts chapter 2. 
I was so happy! 
After asking her to read it, 
I introduced the True Jesus Church to her.

我想向她展示有關聖靈的聖經章節，
但我不知道他們在哪裡。
很神奇的，當我打開聖經時，
它正是使徒行傳第 2 章。
我太高興了！
在請她讀完之後，
我向她介紹了真耶穌教會。

REPENTANCE, BELIEF, BAPTISM 悔改，相信，受洗

One morning, I woke up and cried nonstop.
In my dream, I had seen a flashback of all the sins 
that I had committed since I was young. 
There were so many bad things I had done, 
especially to my family.
I felt ashamed and sorry.

有一天早上，我醒來後就一直哭不停。
在我夢裡，我就看見了所有罪惡閃過的回憶，
那是我年輕時就曾犯下的罪。
我曾做過很多壞事，
特別是對我的家人。
我感到很羞愧和後悔。

I needed to speak to someone 
but did not dare share my dream and thoughts with my roommate; 
I was worried that she would laugh at me. 
So I quickly switched on the computer and wrote an email to Alice, 
describing exactly what I had seen in my dream.

我需要找人談談，
卻不敢與室友分享自已的夢境和想法；
我擔心她會嘲笑我。
於是我很快打開電腦給愛麗絲寫了一封電郵，
準確的描述了自已夢中所曾看到的一切。

I expected her to scold me for being such a bad person. 
But surprisingly, all she said was that she was so happy to have received my email. 
She went on to say she was more than willing to explain sin to me.

我以為她會責罵我成為這麼壞的人。
但令人驚訝的是，所有她只是說的是，很高興收到我的電子郵件。
她繼續說她非常樂意向我解釋罪惡。

For the first time, I learned about sin and who could wash them away. 
All this while, I had thought that baptism was just a formal ceremony to proclaim 
that you had been accepted as a member in a particular church. 
The True Jesus Church’s definition of baptism and its effect 
was different from other churches. 
But it was entirely in line with the Bible.

這是第一次，我了解到有關罪孽，以及誰可以洗清罪孽。
一直以來，我都以為洗禮只是一個正式的儀式來宣告，
您已經得到某個教會接納成為信徒。
真耶穌教會對洗禮及其功效的定義，
與其他教派不同。
但它完全符合聖經的記載。

By God’s will, after graduating from university I got a job in Johor Bahru
where Alice had also landed a job. 
This was fantastic as that meant she could continue to guide me in the truth. 
I went to church almost every Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday, 
and I learned about the basic beliefs and doctrines.

感謝神的旨意，大學畢業後我在新山上找到了一份工作，
艾麗絲也在那裡找到了一份工作。
這太棒了，因為這代表了她可以繼續帶領我了解真理。
我幾乎每個星期二、星期五和星期六都會去教會，
並了解了基本信條和教義。

In four years of seeking the truth, 
I was moved by many sermons, 
as I felt that God was talking to me through them. 
I loved going to church. 
As a Buddhist, my focus had been on praying and waiting for blessings from the deities. 
But I knew that Christians should not receive the Lord’s grace in vain. 
Instead, one must labor for the Lord. 
But if I was not baptized, I could not participate in the holy work.

在慕道的四年裡，
我因為很多講道感動，
因為我覺得神正在透過他們與我說話。
我很愛去教會。
身為佛教徒，我的注意力一直集中在祈求並等待神靈的祝福。
但我知道基督徒不該徒然接受主的恩典。
相反的，一個人必須為主作工。
但如果我沒有受洗，我就不能參與聖工。

With so many natural disasters happening around that time, 
I started to worry that if I died in one of them, 
I could not go to heaven. 
I wanted to get baptized as soon as possible. 
My parents objected at first, 
but I kept on praying and asking God to open the way. 
Thank God, they didn’t prevent me from receiving baptism, 
and now they even take me to church if I do not have transportation.

當時發生了許多天災，
我開始擔心是否我會死在其中之一的災難，
我就不能上天國。
我想盡快受洗。
我父母一開始還反對，
但我繼續禱告，求神開路。
感謝神，他們沒有阻止我接受洗禮，
現在，如果我沒有交通工具，他們甚至會帶我去教會。

Six months and twenty-two days from the day I got baptized, 
God poured down His precious Holy Spirit on me. 
It was the most wonderful day. 
I will never forget how moved I was
—I cried non-stop tears of joy 
because I was receiving something very precious that I had been longing for.
I was able to serve the Lord in the church and repay His love.

從我受洗那天起，已經六個月二十二天了，
神將澆灌祂寶貴的聖靈在我身上。
那是最美好的一天。
我永遠不會忘記自已當時有多感動，
—我喜極而泣停不下來，
因為我得到了自已一直很渴望非常珍貴的東西。
我可以在教會事奉主，報答祂的慈愛。

Most importantly, I thank God for His mercy. 
Through these events, I was even more assured 
that the Lord Jesus Christ keeps His promises and listens to my prayers. 
May all the glory be to God.

最重要的是，我感謝神祂的憐憫。
透過這些事件，我甚至更加確信，
主耶穌基督信守祂的諾言並聆聽我的禱告。
願一切榮耀歸於真神。

小頁 markvmax@hotmail.com
歡迎主內同靈來信加入翻譯