3. Manna issue 62 - Unworthy of God's Grace 不配神的恩典
HH Ko—Heidelberg, Germany 德國海德堡
ILLNESS AND TRIALS 疾病和試煉
I attended the 2009 World Delegate Conference (WDC) in Malaysia.
I was scheduled to be there for ten days, from March 24 to April 2,
taking part in meetings and the conference,
but I don’t recall anything that happened during that time.
Afterward, people told me that my behavior during the conference was strange:
I had trouble walking, spent a lot of time resting, and did not greet others.
我參加了 2009 年，馬來西亞舉行的世界代表大會（WDC）。
我原定在那裡待十天，從 3 月 24 日到 4 月 2 日，
參加會議和研討會，
但我不記得那段時間發生過什麼事。
後來，有人告訴我，我會議期間的行為很奇怪：
我走路有困難，花了很多時間休息，也不跟別人打招呼。
I woke up on April 1 in the hospital, with two holes drilled in my head.
That’s when I realized that I had been operated on.
I didn’t recall giving authorization for surgery,
but the members who had rushed me to the hospital told me that I had signed all the paperwork.
4 月 1 日，我在醫院醒來，頭上鑽了兩個洞。
那時我才意識到，自已已經動過手術。
我不記得有授權進行手術，
但是趕我去醫院看病的信徒告訴我，我已經簽了所有的文件。
They told me that they had taken me to the hospital for a full examination
because of my odd behavior.
When the hospital took a brain scan,
they realized that one-fifth of my skull had filled with blood,
displacing my brain so that it was pushed over to one side.
This hospital was not equipped for brain surgery,
so they had to send me to Malacca Hospital an hour away.
他們告訴我，他們已經帶我去醫院做了全面的檢查，
因為我有奇怪的行為。
當醫院進行腦部掃描的時候，
他們發現了我頭骨有五分之一充滿了血，
排擠了我的大腦，使其被推到一邊去。
這家醫院沒有腦部手術的設備，
所以他們只好送我去一小時車程外的馬六甲醫院。
My situation was critical
and it was possible that I would pass away en route to Malacca Hospital.
Church members notified my siblings in Taiwan of my condition,
and they rushed to Malaysia that day.
My sister told me that they had been prepared to take my body home.
我的情況很危急，
我有可能會在去馬六甲醫院的途中過世。
教會信徒將我的情況通知我在台灣的手足，
當天他們就趕去馬來西亞。
我姐姐告訴我，他們已經準備好把我的身體帶回家了。
I’m very thankful for all the brothers and sisters
who prayed for me during this time,
especially the WDC attendees who stayed up late to pray for me.
The two holes in my skull were drilled
so that the blood in my brain could be drained.
I had to stay in the hospital until I recovered from the surgery,
but I didn’t know the full extent of my condition
because the doctor was too busy to talk to me.
我很感謝所有的兄弟姊妹，
他們在這段時間為我禱告，
特別是那些熬夜為我禱告的世界代表大會 WDC 的與會者。
我的頭骨上鑽了兩個洞，
這樣我腦子裡的血液就可以流出來。
我必須留在醫院直到手術康復，
但我不知道自已全部病情的情況，
因為醫生太忙了，沒有時間告訴我。
On the fourth night of my hospitalization,
I started to reflect on my illness.
Pastors often encourage us to reflect on anything
that may have caused difficulties and problems in our life,
and we were taught in theological school to be careful of greed, pride, and lust.
So I thought about whether or not I had done something wrong.
在我住院的第四個晚上，
我開始反省自己的病情。
傳道常常鼓勵我們要反思任何事情，
那可能就會給我們生活帶來困難和問題，
我們在神學院教導要小心貪婪、驕傲和情慾。
於是我就思想自己是不是做錯了什麼。
But after examining and reflecting,
I still could not figure out a reason for my illness,
so I just accepted the fact that I got sick.
All of a sudden I heard loud noises that seemed to be coming from the next room.
但經過審視與反省之後，
我至今仍無法了解自已生病的原因，
所以我只能接受自已生病的情況。
突然間，我聽到似乎來自隔壁房間，傳來了很大的聲音。
Normally, I am not that disturbed by loud sounds.
For example, if someone near me snores very loudly,
I just try to breathe along with him instead of becoming angry,
and I’m soon asleep.
But I wanted to find out where the sound was coming from
because the noise made me nauseous.
通常的情況，我不會被大聲的聲音干擾。
例如，如果我附近有人打呼很大聲，
我只會試著和他一起呼吸，而不會生氣，
然後我很快就會睡著了。
但我會想知道，聲音到底是從哪裡發出來的，
因為噪音會讓我感到很噁心。
From my reaction to the noise,
I knew that it was a spiritual disturbance, possibly from Satan.
I had witnessed the work of Satan and cast him out before,
but I had never personally experienced disturbance by him.
從我對噪音的反應來看，
我知道這是一種屬靈上的擾亂，可能是來自於撒但。
我已經看過撒但的工作，以前也曾趕出過他，
但我從親自體驗過他的騷擾。
I wanted to go look around and see
if there was anything causing the noise,
in case it was mice or something else.
I needed to make sure that it was the work of Satan.
我想要走去四週看看，
看有沒有任何東西引起了噪音，
萬一是那是老鼠，或其他什麼東西。
我要確定，這是撒旦的工作。
It was around 8 pm, and I had an intravenous (IV) line and a urine bag,
so I had to bring them all with me
as I walked slowly to the next room.
It took me thirty minutes to get there,
and, when I opened the door,
I saw that it was an empty shower room.
I didn’t know what was in that room
because I hadn’t been allowed out of bed after the operation.
當時是晚上 8 點左右，我接受了靜脈注射 (IV) ，而且掛著尿袋，
所以我必須把它們全部都帶著，
當我慢慢走向隔壁的房間。
我花了三十分鐘才走到那裡，
而，當我打開門的時候，
我看到，那是一間空空的淋浴間。
我並不知道那個房間有什麼東西，
因為手術之後，我不被允許下床。
I turned each tap closed, very tightly,
even though none of them were leaking.
After I got back to my room, I could still hear loud noises and still felt nauseous.
I knew that it was a demon that was disturbing me.
I decided that it wasn’t worthy to be cast out by Jesus’ name
because His name is precious and shouldn’t be carelessly used.
So I said, “Cowardly demon, I’m ignoring you.”
And the noise went away.
我把每個水龍頭都關得很緊，
儘管它們都沒有漏水。
回到房間之後，我仍然能夠聽到很大的噪音，而且仍然讓人感到噁心。
我知道，這是一個魔鬼在擾亂我。
我決定，不值得用耶穌的名來驅趕，
因為祂的名字很寶貴，不應該被隨意的使用。
於是我說：“膽小鬼，我不理你了。”
然後噪音就消失了。
The next day, at around 8 pm, I felt a presence, a power in the room,
but I wasn’t afraid.
I said, “What do you want?”
And I felt it run quickly to my feet.
第二天，大約晚上 8 點左右，我感覺到房間裡有一種存在，有一種力量，
但我並不害怕。
我說：“你想要作什麼？”
我感覺它很快就跑到我的腳邊。
Suddenly this demon was tugging on my blankets, trying to pull them off of me.
I held onto the blankets tightly
so that they wouldn’t get pulled away.
I wasn’t about to let this demon take away the four blankets
that I had especially requested from the nurses,
so I cast him out in the name of Jesus.
And he left.
突然，這個魔鬼拉著我的毯子，想要把它們從我身上拉下來。
我緊緊抓著毯子，
以免他們被拉走。
我才不打算讓這個魔鬼搶走這四張毯子，
這是我特別向護士要來的，
所以我就奉耶穌的名把他趕走。
然後他就離開了。
After this second visit from the demon,
I knew that it was my turn to go through trials
and personally experience the work of Satan, but I wasn’t afraid.
在第二次惡魔來打擾之後，
我知道，該輪到我要經歷考驗了，
且親身經歷了撒但的工作，但我並不害怕。
GOD’S GRACE AND PROTECTION
I was discharged from the hospital on Friday, April 10, nine days after my surgery.
The next day was Sabbath, and the local church asked me to give a sermon.
I went up to the pulpit and told everyone not to worry about me
while I testified about my experiences over the past few days.
4 月 10 日星期五，也就是手術九天之後，我就出院了。
隔天就是安息日，當地的教會就邀請我去講道。
我走上講台，告訴大家不要為我擔心，
同時我也見證了自已這幾天的經歷。
My head was still wrapped in bandages when I went up to speak
because the two holes drilled in my head had not yet completely healed.
The deacon who invited me to speak was afraid that I would faint,
so he sat in the first pew in case anything happened.
當我上前講話時，頭還纏著繃帶，
因為我頭上鑽的兩個洞，還沒有完全癒合。
邀請我見證的執事，害怕我會暈倒，
所以他坐在第一排，以防萬一。
A brother who had ear surgery a year earlier was worried for me
when I went up to speak and started to get a headache.
He later testified that he saw a vision while I spoke.
He saw five angels, as tall as the chapel, surrounding the pulpit
where I was standing.
Two angels stood in the front of the pulpit, one on each side, each holding a large book.
Two angels stood in the back, one on each side, each holding a staff.
And one angel stood behind me, in the middle, holding a sword.
有個弟兄一年前做過耳朵的手術，他很擔心我，
當我上前說話的時候，就開始頭痛。
他後來見證說，當我說話的時候，他就看到了異象。
他看到了五位天使，就如會堂一樣高，圍繞講台，
就是我所站的地方。
講台前面站著兩位天使，兩邊各有一位，各自拿著一本大書。
後面站著兩位天使，左右各一位，各自拿著一根手杖。
而且有一位天使站在我的身後，在中間，拿著一把劍。
After he saw this vision, his headache disappeared
and he wasn’t worried anymore
because the angels were watching after me.
Nothing happened to me that day or the next day
when I spoke during a special seminar.
I believed, as everyone else did,
that I was fine and there would be no more problems.
看到這個景象之後，他的頭痛就消失了
因此他就不再擔心了，
因為有天使看顧著我。
那天及隔天我都沒發生什麼事，
那時我在那一次特別的講習會講課。
我和其他人一起都相信，
我很好，將不會再有問題了。
The two weeks I spent in Malaysia after my operation
were truly because of God’s grace.
I could not fly back home to Germany after I was discharged
because the left hemisphere of my brain needed time to recover its normal shape.
The blood that had built up in that part of my brain had pushed my brain out of place,
and I was left with an empty space where the blood had been.
There would be pressure problems
if I went on a plane with a partially empty skull.
手術之後，我在馬來西亞度過的兩週，
真的是因著神的恩典。
出院之後，我就無法飛回德國的家，
因為我大腦左半球，需要時間恢復成正常形狀。
而在我大腦那部分所積聚的血液，推擠我大腦離開了位置，
血液所積聚的地方，留下了一片空間。
如果我帶著半空的頭骨去搭飛機，
就會有壓力的問題。
My wife came to take care of me,
and we stayed at the unoccupied house of a church sister
after I was discharged from the hospital.
Thank God, my wife and I were able to experience a second honeymoon while I recovered.
我妻子過來照顧我，
我們住在教會姐妹的無人居住的房子裡，
在我出院之後。
感謝神，我和妻子在康復期間，能夠體驗第二次蜜月。
We rarely had time for long conversations,
but for two weeks we had a lot of time to talk,
and we talked about everything
—about our youth, the present, even our future
and how to take care of our affairs once we passed away.
We would sit and talk for many hours at a time,
and I still think about this time fondly.
我們很少有時間，可以進行長時間交談，
但這兩週，我們有很多的時間交談，
我們談論了一切，
—談到關於我們的青春、現在、甚至未來，
以及一旦我們去世了，要如何處理我們的事務。
我們會一次坐下來，聊了好幾個小時，
我仍然深深懷念者這段時間。
After two weeks, the doctors allowed me to fly home.
I left Malaysia believing that my illness was behind me
and that I had made a full recovery.
兩週之後，醫生允許我可以飛回家了。
我離開馬來西亞時，相信自已的病情已經過去了，
且我已經完全康復了。
UNEXPECTED RECURRENCE AND DOWNTURN 意外重現與反轉
I went for a checkup at Heidelberg University Hospital on May 15,
one month after I returned to Germany.
After a computed tomography (CT) scan,
the doctor told me that I couldn’t go home
because my brain was again filled with blood
and they had to operate that day.
5 月 15 日，我去海德堡大學醫學院檢查，
在我回到德國一個月之後。
經過電腦斷層 (CT) 掃描後，
醫生告訴我，我不能回家，
因為我的頭腦又充滿了血液，
他們當天就必須手術。
Two more holes were drilled in my head to drain the blood.
Unlike my first hospitalization, I remembered everything clearly:
I dressed myself before going in for surgery,
I shook hands with the anesthesiologist and the surgeon,
and I was able to remember everything after I woke up.
我的頭上又鑽了兩個洞，以排出血液。
與我的第一次住院不同，一切都記得清清楚楚：
進去手術之前，我自己穿好了衣服，
我和麻醉師與外科醫生握手，
醒來後，我都能記住一切的事情。
The surgery went well, and my recovery went smoothly as well.
On May 18, the third day after surgery, the doctor told me
that I would be discharged the next day.
That night, around 8 pm, I was getting ready to sleep
when I suddenly felt a force behind me.
手術很順利，我復原的很順利。
5 月 18 日，手術後第三天，醫生告訴我
隔天我就可以出院了。
那天晚上，大約八點左右，我準備好要睡覺，
當我突然感覺身後有一股力量。
This was the third time I felt this presence,
but it didn’t say or do anything other than watch me.
I felt it staring at my back.
I ignored it, but it wouldn’t leave,
and the feeling of being watched for a long time started to annoy me.
I got angry and cast it out in the name of Jesus.
這是我第三次，感受到這個存在，
但它除了看著我之外，什麼也沒說，什麼也沒做。
我覺得它盯著我的背部。
我忽略它，但它卻不肯離開，
長時間被注視的感覺，開始讓我惱怒。
我很生氣，奉耶穌的名把它趕出去。
I was lying down in bed and saw it run away through the corner.
It was the first time I had seen a demon,
but I can still picture it very clearly.
It had a small pointed head and a tail like a broom,
and I was surprised at the color
because it wasn’t dark like it’s usually depicted
but more of an olive green color.
我躺在床上，看見它從角落跑掉了。
這是第一次我看到了惡魔，
但我仍然可以很清楚地想像它。
它有一個小尖頭，和掃帚一樣的尾巴，
我對它的顏色感到很驚訝，
因為它並不像平常所說的那樣黑暗，
而更多的是橄欖綠。
After it left, I slept very well that night.
When I woke up the next morning,
I thought that everything was well
and that I would be going home that day.
它走之後，那天晚上我睡得很好。
當我第二天早上醒來的時候，
我以為一切都會很好，
那天我將會回家。
The doctor came in at 11 am to remove the drainage tubes in my head.
The doctor told me to prepare for pain,
and I steadied myself for pain of a level of ten,
but it was at a level of eight.
He finished removing the tubes at 11:30 am and left.
上午 11 點，醫生來拔除我頭部的引流管。
醫生告訴我，要做好應對疼痛的準備
我穩住了自己要承受十級的疼痛，
但它的程度是八級。
上午 11 點 30 分，他完成了管子移除的工作，並且離開了。
After the doctor left the room,
I suddenly felt great pain in my head.
It was many times more painful than the level of ten that I had prepared for earlier.
It felt like someone was squeezing my brain in his hand.
I had never felt pain of this scale.
醫生離開房間之後，
我突然感受到頭很痛。
這比我之前準備的十級，還要痛苦很多倍。
感覺就像有人在手裡擠壓著我的頭腦。
我從未感受過這種程度的疼痛。
I turned in bed to try to get rid of the pain,
and then I felt my brain being squeezed two more times.
Then I lost consciousness.
我在床上翻身，試圖擺脫疼痛，
然後我感覺自已的大腦又被多擠壓了兩次。
然後我就失去了知覺。
When the nurse brought my lunch at noon she found me lying in bed unresponsive.
They took another CT scan of my brain
and found that there was a mixture of brain matter, blood,
and other brain fluid in my skull,
which the doctor later described to me as a “blood cake.”
I was taken in for surgery.
中午時護士送來我的午餐，發現我躺在床上毫無反應。
他們對我的大腦進行了另一次 CT 電腦斷層掃描，
發現我頭骨中有腦物質、血液和的其他腦液的混合物，
後來醫生向我形容，那就是「血塊」。
我就被送去進行手術。
The doctors were unable to figure out what had happened
because I was cleared for discharge that day,
but then I suddenly lost consciousness and had a “blood cake” in my brain.
The surgeon had to cut part of my scalp and lift it off like a flap,
then cut through my skull and take off part of the skull to look at my brain.
醫生無法弄清楚發生了什麼事，
因為那天我就可以出院了，
但隨後，我就突然失去了知覺，腦中出現了「血塊」。
外科醫生必需切掉我的一部分頭皮，然後像皮瓣一樣將其剝離，
然後切開我的頭骨，並且取下部分頭骨，來觀察我的大腦。
When I woke up after this operation,
I had some difficulty moving the right side of my body
and could not speak clearly.
Even though I went through physical therapy over the next couple of days,
my condition didn’t improve and actually deteriorated
until I was completely paralyzed on my right side
and unable to speak intelligibly.
當我手術完之後醒來，
我就有些困難，去移動身體右側，
並且無法清晰的說話。
儘管接下來的幾天，我接受了物理治療，
我的病情不但沒有改善，反而惡化了，
直到我的右邊完全痲痺，
並且無法清晰的說話。
The doctors decided to operate on me one more time to see
if they could find out what was wrong.
醫生決定再給我做一次手術來看看，
他們是否能發現出了什麼問題。
UNABLE TO SPEAK 不能說話
Before my second major brain surgery, the doctor told me that,
if I was lucky, I would be able to speak my native language after the operation.
He explained that the mother tongue is deeply ingrained in the brain,
and subsequent languages are copied into the brain.
The languages learned later would be lost,
but I would still be able to speak my mother tongue after surgery if I was lucky.
在我進行第二次腦部大手術之前，醫生告訴我，
如果幸運的話，手術後我就能說自已的母語了。
他解釋說，母語在大腦中根深蒂固，
隨後的語言才被複製進大腦。
後來學到的語言將會消失，
但如果幸運的話，手術後我仍然可以說自已的母語。
My second surgery took place on May 22.
When I woke up afterward,
I was completely paralyzed on my right side.
My wife, eldest son, and daughter
came to see me in the intensive care unit (ICU) after the surgery.
I decided to see if I was lucky,
like the doctor said, and I tried to speak.
5 月 22 日，我進行第二次手術 。
後來我醒來的時候，
我的身體右側完全癱瘓了。
我的妻子，長子，和女兒，
手術後，來到加護病房（ICU）看我。
我決定看看自已是不是很幸運，
正如醫生所說，我試著說話。
My mother tongue is Taiwanese,
and only my wife and eldest son understood it.
But when I spoke to them, they couldn’t understand me.
I wasn’t lucky.
I was like most people, unable to speak any language.
我的母語是台語，
只有我的妻子和長子才懂。
但當我和他們說話的時候，他們聽不懂我的意思。
我並沒有幸運。
我和大多數人一樣，不能說任何語言。
I remembered at that moment that a church member once said
that determination is very important after a stroke or brain injury.
So I was very determined to speak and kept trying,
but no one could understand.
So my wife suggested that I try to write what I wanted to say
since I was trying so hard to speak.
She gave me a piece of paper and a pen,
and I told myself that this was the time to rely on my determination.
當時我想起，有一位教會信徒曾經說過，
在中風或腦損傷之後，有決心是非常重要的。
所以我就非常堅定的開始說話，並且不斷的嘗試，
但是沒有人可以理解。
所以我妻子建議，可以試著寫下自已想說的話
因為我很努力的想說話。
她給了我一張紙和一支筆，
我告訴自己，現在是依靠我決心的時候了。
I tried very hard to write, using my left hand since my right hand was paralyzed.
When I looked at my wife after I finished writing,
I saw that there were tears in her eyes.
I knew that something was wrong.
Yet my wife told me,
“You wrote very well.”
由於右手痲痺了，我非常努力的用左手寫字。
寫完之後，我看著妻子，
我看到，她的眼裡含著淚水。
我知道出了問題。
然而我妻子告訴我，
“你寫得很好。”
The part of my brain that controlled speech and language was damaged,
so I couldn’t speak or write,
and my right side was completely paralyzed.
But I could still understand what people said to me.
我腦中控制說話和語言的部分受損了，
所以我無法說話或寫字，
而我的右側完全癱瘓了。
但我仍然能理解人們對我說的話。
I was very happy despite not being able to speak
or move the right side of my body.
I was happy because I wouldn’t be able to carry out my responsibilities as a preacher anymore,
and, therefore, the chance that I would lose my salvation was greatly diminished.
儘管不能說話，或是不能移動身體的右側，
我還是很高興。
我很高興，因為我不再能再履行傳道人的職責了，
而因此，我失去救恩的可能性就大大減少了。
Don’t get me wrong;
I have always wanted to be a preacher
—even as early as junior high.
And receiving the Holy Spirit at that young age strengthened my hope of serving God
in this capacity.
別誤會我的意思；
我一直想成為一名傳教，
—甚至很早在國中的時期。
在那年輕的時候，得到聖靈加強了我事奉神的盼望，
以這個傳道的身分。
After I became a preacher, however,
I started to worry that I would not be able to complete my work as a preacher.
I heard stories of elders and preachers encountering many trials and temptations,
and I learned that some were not able to continue being ministers.
I worried that I would lose my salvation in the course of my work as a preacher
because of trials or temptations.
然而，當我成為傳道之後，
我開始擔心，自己無法完成傳道人的工作。
我聽到很多長老和傳道，遇到許多考驗和誘惑的故事，
我得知了，有些人無法繼續擔任神職人員。
我很擔心，在擔任傳道工作的過程中，我會失去救恩，
因為有考驗或誘惑。
Even so, I enjoyed being a preacher and thanked God for allowing my life to go so smoothly.
But now, I believed that I had completed the work
that had been entrusted to me as a preacher,
and I felt a great freedom in this.
即便如此，我很享受成為傳道人，並且感謝神的是，讓我的生活很順利。
但是現在，我相信自已已經完成了工作，
就是那託付給我作為傳教人的工作，
在此其中，我感覺得到極大的自由。
During my family’s visit,
I continued to pray in the spirit, which concerned the nurse.
My wife reassured her that I was just praying.
在我家人探訪期間，
我繼續用靈言禱告，這讓護士很擔心。
我妻子向她保證，我只是在禱告。
Since I was in the ICU, my family couldn’t stay long.
My wife later told me that when they prayed with me before they left,
I was able to say “hallelujah,”
but, no matter how much they tried to teach me and help me,
I could not properly say “amen.”
After thirty minutes, they went home.
由於我在加護病房，我的家人不能待太久。
我妻子後來告訴我，當他們離開前和我一起禱告時，
我能夠說“哈利路亞”，
但是，無論他們如何努力教導我和幫助我，
我無法正確的說“阿們”。
三十分鐘後，他們回家了。
TALKING TO THE HEAVENLY FATHER 向天父說話
After my family left at 6 pm,
I prayed in tongues and spoke to my heavenly Father in the spirit.
Even though I couldn’t speak,
I could still say “hallelujah” and my tongue was unchanged
when I prayed in the spirit.
下午 6 點家人離開後，
我用靈言禱告，在靈裡與天父說話。
雖然我不能說話，
我仍然可以說“哈利路亞”，而我的舌頭沒有改變，
當我用靈言禱告的時候。
I had never been so happy before in my life
—I felt free, like I had been released,
and also because I could now pray and speak to the heavenly Father.
在我的一生中，從未感到如此的快樂，
—我感覺很自由，就像我被釋放了一樣，
也因為我現在可以向天父祈禱和說話。
I talked to the heavenly Father from 6 pm to 9 pm.
I didn’t see God or hear an actual voice,
but I experienced everything in the spirit.
I spoke to Him in tongues,
and it felt like He was right next to me.
I was so happy that I shed many tears while I was praying.
從下午六點到九點，我與天父交談。
我沒有看到神，也沒有聽到真正的聲音，
但我在靈裡經歷了一切。
我用靈言對祂說話，
感覺就像祂就在我旁邊。
我很高興，在祈禱時流下很多的眼淚。
As I continued to pray and speak to God,
I suddenly felt very small, like I had become a child.
I said, “Abba, Father, can I sing a song for you?”
He said, “Yes.”
I told Him,
“Abba, I can’t speak, but I can say ‘hallelujah,’
so I will sing hymn number 3 [“Hallelujah, Praise the True God”].
I can’t say the other words, but at least I can say ‘hallelujah.’”
當我繼續向神禱告說話時，
我突然覺得自己很渺小，就像我已經變成一個小孩子。
我說：“阿爸，父親，我可以為你唱首歌嗎？”
祂說：“好的。”
我告訴祂：
“阿爸，我不能說話，但我可以說‘哈利路亞’，
所以我會唱讚美詩第三首 [“哈利路亞，讚美真神”]。
我不能說其他的話語，但至少我可以說‘哈利路亞’。”
So I sang this hymn to God and spoke to Him at the same time.
I sang and shed tears because I was so moved by the experience,
it was so beautiful.
I did not ask God to heal me
because I forgot at the time that I was partially paralyzed and could not speak.
Furthermore, I felt that I was actually doing pretty well
and was happy that I had completed my duty as a preacher.
所以我一邊向神唱這首讚美詩，一邊對祂說話。
我一邊唱詩，一邊流淚，因為這種體驗讓我非常的感動，
真的是太美好了。
我沒有求神醫治我，
因為我當時忘了，自己半身癱瘓，不能說話。
而且，我覺得自已其實做得很不錯，
而且很高興，自已完成了身為傳教人的職責。
I continued to pray and sing from 9 pm to 12 am.
Then I told God, “Abba, I keep singing the same hymn,
one that I learned as a child.
Do you feel bored?”
And He said, “Well, why don’t you sing another one, then?”
I thought of all the songs that I could remember learning in church
and started singing all of them,
whether in Mandarin, Taiwanese, English, or German.
I sang until 3 am.
從晚上 9 點到凌晨 12 點，我繼續禱告和唱歌。
然後我告訴神：“阿爸，我一直唱著同樣的詩歌，
這是我小時候所學到的。
你會覺得無聊嗎？”
祂說：“啊，即然這樣，那麼你為什麼不唱另一首歌呢？”
我思考了所有教會所學會，且自已所記得的詩歌，
並且開始唱出全部的詩歌，
無論是國語、台語、英語或德語。
我一直唱到凌晨3點。
At 3 am the nurse came into my room again,
and, since I needed to ask her for something,
I thought,
“I’ve been singing for a long time, maybe I can speak now.”
So I tried to talk to her.
She was shocked.
I could tell from her expression
that she was more surprised than I was that I could speak.
凌晨三點時，護士又來我的房間，
而且，因為我要求她一些事情，
我想著：
“我已經唱了很長時間了，也許我現在可以說話了。”
所以我試著和她說話。
她很震驚。
從她的表情我可以看出，
她比我更驚訝我能說話了。
The nurse had been in and out of my room the entire night,
during which I had been praying in tongues, singing, and crying.
She knew that I had been unable to speak for several days already.
And then suddenly, I was able to speak to her and she could understand me.
護士整個晚上，一直都在進出我的房間，
在那個時間，我一直都在用靈言禱告、唱歌、哭泣。
她知道，我已經好幾天不能說話了。
然後突然間，我能夠和她說話，她也能理解我的意思。
From that moment on, I was completely healed
and was back to my normal self, just as I am now.
When I realized that I had recovered, I was mischievous and said,
“Abba, can I really speak now?
How about I try memorizing Revelation 1:1?”
I taught Greek at the theological seminary in Taiwan,
so I tried reciting the verse in Greek.
I could do it.
And then I tried memorizing Genesis 1:1 in Hebrew,
and I was able to do it as well.
Then, I fell asleep.
從那一刻起，我就徹底痊癒了，
並且恢復了正常的自我，就像我現在一樣。
當我意識到，自己已經康復時，我調皮的說：
“阿爸，我現在真的可以說話了嗎？
我試著背訟啟示錄 1 章 1 節，你認為怎麼樣呢？”
我在台灣神學院教授希臘文，
所以我想用希臘文背誦這節經文。
我能夠做到這一點。
然後我嘗試用希伯來文背誦創世記 1 章 1 節，
我也能夠這麼做。
然後，我就睡著了。
BACK AT HOME 回到家
I stayed in the hospital for over a week after the surgery.
During this time, I did not undergo any type of therapy
because I was completely healed
—I could walk, talk, and write.
Due to an infection I acquired at the hospital,
I was isolated in my own room and all visitors had to wear gowns, masks, and gloves.
My wife and I got to spend a lot of time together and experience another honeymoon
because of this.
手術之後，我在醫院待了一個多星期。
在此期間，我沒有接受任何類型的治療，
因為我已經完全痊癒了，
—我能夠走路、說話和寫作。
由於我在醫院受到感染，
我被隔離在自己的病房裡，所有訪客都必須穿著隔離衣、口罩和手套。
我和妻子要花很多時間在一起，並且體驗了另一個蜜月，
因為這種情況。
On Friday, May 29, a week after my last surgery,
I had another CT scan on my brain.
I was discharged two days later, on Sunday, May 31.
Strangely, the doctor didn’t come by to see me or speak to me.
He had taken a lot of time to explain my condition after my initial surgery on May 15.
However, on Sunday the nurse just told me
that I could go home, so I left.
5 月 29 日星期五，也就是我上次手術的一週後，
我又進行了一次大腦斷層 CT 掃描。
兩天後， 5 月 31 日星期日，我就出院了。
很奇怪的是，醫生沒有來看我，也沒有跟我說話。
5 月 15 日我進行初次手術之後，他花了很多時間來解釋病情。
然而週日的時候，護士只是告訴我，
我可以回家了，所以我就離開了。
The first thing I did at home was to call my family in Taiwan
and let them know that I was back home and completely healed.
When I spoke to my mother and my brother,
I could tell that something was wrong.
They told me that my father had gone missing.
回到家的第一件事，就是打電話給台灣的家人，
讓他們知道，我已經回家了，並且完全康復。
當我和媽媽兄弟說話的時候，
我可以看出來有些不正常。
他們告訴我，我的父親迷路失蹤了。
I prayed for my father and felt a lot of pain
because he had been in good health and we didn’t know what happened to him.
Three days later, they found my father;
he had been called back to the Lord.
He was eighty years old.
Thank God, my mother received a lot of comfort
during this time through miracles and God’s guidance.
我為父親禱告，並且感到非常的痛苦，
因為他的健康狀況一直很良好，我們不知道他發生了什麼事情。
三天之後，他們找到了父親；
他已經被召喚回到主身邊。
他已經八十歲了。
感謝神，我的母親得到了很多的安慰，
在此期間，透過神蹟和神的引領。
My father’s memorial service was scheduled to be held two weeks later.
I told my wife that we had to take time off and go back to Taiwan.
My wife didn’t oppose me and just said,
“Yes, we should all go back.
But why don’t we ask the doctor first?”
我父親的告別式聚會定於兩週後舉行。
我告訴妻子，我們要請假回台灣了。
我妻子並沒有反對我，只說：
“是的，我們都該要回去了。
但我們為什麼不先詢問醫生呢？”
When the doctor spoke to us on the phone, he was quite stern.
He said,
“I understand how you feel.
My father also passed away recently.
But don’t forget, if you get on the plane, you won’t be able to get off.
You may not be afraid to die,
but don’t affect the other passengers.
If you die during the flight,
it causes trouble because the plane will have to make an emergency landing
or fly for several hours with a dead body.
No one will be able to save you on the plane.”
當醫生在電話裡和我們談話時，他的語氣很嚴肅。
他說，
“我理解你的感受。
我的父親最近也去世了。
但請不要忘了，如果您坐上飛機，您將無法下飛機。
你也許不怕死亡，
但請不要影響其他的乘客。
如果你在飛行途中死亡，
這會造成麻煩，因為飛機必須要緊急著陸，
或是帶著屍體飛行幾個小時。
在飛機上沒有人能救你。”
After hearing this, I came to a realization and decided not to go.
I sent my wife and my oldest son to attend the memorial service in Taiwan
and represent me and my children.
聽了這話之後，我恍然大悟，決定不去了。
我派妻子和大兒子去台灣參加告別式，
代表我和其他的子女。
COMPLETELY HEALED 完全康復
On July 6, a few days after my wife and son returned from Taiwan,
I went for my first checkup after my discharge from the hospital.
They took a CT scan of my brain, and it showed no abnormalities or damage.
The doctor told me that I was completely healed.
7 月 6 日，也就是我妻子和兒子台灣返回幾天後，
是出院後，我第一次去做的檢查。
他們對我的大腦進行了大腦斷層 CT 掃描，沒有顯示任何異常或損傷。
醫生告訴我，我已經完全康復了。
He gave me copies of all of the scans taken during my hospitalization,
and, after seeing them, I understood why he hadn’t come to see me
when I was discharged on May 31.
The scans taken on May 29 showed that my brain was still damaged,
that the “blood cake” was still there.
Yet, I appeared to be completely healed
—I could talk, and my right side was no longer paralyzed.
I was discharged from the hospital without a visit from the doctor
because he wasn’t able to explain what happened.
他給了我所有住院期間的 X光 掃描副本，
看到這些掃描片之後，我明白了他為什麼沒來看我，
當我 5 月 31 日出院的時候。
5 月 29 日的掃描片及然顯示我的大腦受到損傷，
“血塊”仍然存在。
然而，我看起來已經完全痊癒了，
—我可以說話了，我的身體右側不再麻痺了。
我出院了，而沒有醫生來探查，
因為他無法解釋發生了什麼事。
My wife had collected and organized a list of questions to ask the doctor at this checkup.
There were three major categories of questions:
1) How did this illness occur?
2) How did you treat the illness?
3) How can we prevent this from happening again?
There were many other questions under each category.
我的妻子收集整理了一份問題的清單，以便於這次檢查時詢問醫生。
問題主要分為三個種類：
1）這種疾病是怎麼發生的？
2）你是怎麼治療這種疾病的？
3）我們要怎麼作，才能防止這種情況再次發生？
每種類別之下，還有許多其他的問題。
As we went through the list of questions,
the doctor didn’t really listen.
Afterward, he told us three things:
當我們逐一討論問題清單時，
醫生並沒有真正在聆聽。
隨後，他給我們講了三件事：
1. Accept the illness as a fact.
I told him that I enjoyed my illness
because it gave me the opportunity to be close to my wife and my Creator.
On earth, there is nothing better than this,
so I was very thankful that I became ill.
1. 接受疾病是一件事實。
我告訴他，很享受自已的疾病，
因為它讓我有機會，親近自已的妻子和造物主。
地球上沒有比這更美好的事了
所以我很感激自己可以生病。
2. We don’t know the cause of your illness.
The doctor told me that he saw many patients every year
with similar cases of brain hemorrhage,
typically caused by traumatic head injuries in car crashes.
When he saw me initially in May,
he had assumed that I had also sustained such an injury.
However, I had recovered and was cleared to go home on May 19
when 25% of my brain was suddenly damaged,
so it wasn’t possible that I had sustained a traumatic head injury.
The doctors did not know what had happened.
2. 我們不知道您的病因。
醫生告訴我說，他每年都會看很多病人，
都有類似腦出血的病例，
通常是因為，車禍頭部創傷造成的。
當他第一次五月見到我的時候，
他一直以為，我也受過這樣的創傷。
然而，5 月 19 日的時候，我已經康復，並且獲准回家，
那時我大腦的 25% 突然受損，
所以我不可能是，一直持續頭部有創傷。
而多位醫生卻不知道發生了什麼事。
3. We didn’t do anything to cure you.
He said,
“Your head gave us many headaches.
Within seven days you had three operations.
We removed part of your skull
and looked at the brain in the last two operations.
This was a last resort because there was nothing we could do.
Your brain was still damaged when you were discharged,
so we did nothing to cure you.
From April to May, your condition deteriorated,
but it was suddenly and mysteriously cured.
We didn’t do anything.”
3.我們沒有做任何事來治癒你。
他說：
“你的頭腦讓我們很頭痛。
7 天內，你做了 3 次手術。
我們切除了你的部分頭骨，
並在過去兩次手術中，檢查大腦。
這是最後的手段，因為我們無能為力。
你出院的時候，大腦仍然是受損的，
所以我們沒有施予任何方法治愈你。
從四月到五月，你的病情惡化了，
但是它卻突然又神祕的痊癒了。
我們什麼事也沒做。”
The doctor hadn’t addressed our questions about prevention,
and my wife was unwilling to leave without getting his advice.
So she asked him what we should do to prevent this from happening again.
醫生沒有回答，我們有關預防的問題，
在沒有得到他的建議之前，我的妻子不願意離開。
於是她問他，我們應該做什麼事，來防止這種情況再次發生。
He became angry, stood up behind his desk, and said,
“Mrs. Ko, I already told you.
We admit that we don’t know how the illness came about.
Furthermore, we admit that we didn’t do anything to heal your husband.
How would I know what you should do to prevent it?”
他生氣了，從辦公桌後面站起來，說：
“柯女士。 我已經告訴你了。
我們承認，我們不知道這種疾病是怎麼發生的。
此外，我們承認，我們沒有採取任何措施來治療你的丈夫。
我怎麼知道，你應該做什麼事，才能防止這種疾病呢？”
I whispered to my wife,
“Let’s go home, he’s angry now, we don’t need to ask him anymore.”
I thought that if I were the doctor, I would have said,
“You should get plenty of rest and drink plenty of water.
Don’t lift anything heavy but take some walks.
Eat nutritious food, nothing salty or oily.”
But the doctor was very frank in his response.
我低聲對妻子說：
“我們回家吧，他現在已經生氣了，我們不要再問他了。”
我認為，如果我是醫生，我就會說，
“你應該多休息，多喝水。
不要提重物，但可以散步。
吃有營養的食物，不要太鹹或太油。”
但醫生卻很坦誠的回答。
The doctor asked if I needed to take medical leave,
so my wife asked when I could start working again.
He said I could go back to work in four weeks, on August 9.
My wife was surprised that it was so soon,
thinking that I would need to take six months to recover.
The doctor said,
“He’s only flying to Taiwan, that’s no problem;
he could even fly to the North or South Pole.”
醫生詢問，我是否需要請病假，
所以我妻子問，我什麼時候可以重新開始工作。
他說，我可以四個星期後回去工作，也就是 8 月 9 日。
我妻子很驚訝，這麼快就可以工作了，
並且認為，我需要花六個月的時間才能康復。
醫生說，
“他只是飛往台灣，沒有問題；
他甚至可以飛到北極或南極。”
August 9 was the first day of the new semester of the theological school in Taiwan.
My wife and brother didn’t think I was ready to go back to work,
but, since the doctor said I was fine, I went back to Taiwan in August.
I resumed my full-time duties, and I’ve been working ever since.
8 月 9 日是台灣神學院新學期的第一天。
我妻子和兄弟，認為我還沒準備好，可以回去工作，
但由於醫生說我很好，所以我八月就回台灣了。
我恢復了全職工作，從那時起我就一直在工作。
I really thank God for all that has happened.
But now I need the intercession of brothers and sisters even more.
Why?
Because the rough period has passed.
In less developed areas,
Satan will use less sophisticated methods to disturb and tempt people,
such as demon possession.
我真的感謝神，所發生的一切。
但現在我更需要弟兄姊妹的代禱了。
為什麼呢？
因為困難的時期已經過去了。
在比較不發達的地區，
撒但會用不太複雜的手段來擾亂、誘惑人，
例如，惡魔附身。
In the western world, Satan works on us from the inside, not the outside.
He uses civilized methods and illnesses to control our thoughts and actions.
Therefore, we need to pray even more and be watchful.
The rough period has passed, but there will be more trials to come.
在西方世界，撒但從內部對我們作工，而不是外部。
他用文明的方法和疾病，來控制我們的思想和行為。
所以，我們更要禱告、儆醒。
艱難的時期已經過去，但還會有更多的考驗。
Ever since 3 am on May 23, 2009,
after I prayed and sang hymns all night to the heavenly Father,
I have been completely cured.
When I was sick, I thought that I had completed my responsibilities,
but, after I was healed, I restarted my work.
I thank God for His grace,
but I need continual prayer in my life of worship and service to God.
自從 2009 年 5 月 23 日凌晨 3 點開始，
那時我向天父禱告唱讚美詩一整夜之後，
我的病已經完全痊癒了。
當我生病的時候，我以為自已已經完成了責任，
但是，當我痊癒之後，我又重新開始了自已的工作。
我感謝神的恩典，
而在崇拜和事奉神的生活中，我需要不斷的禱告。
I thank God, and I thank all of you for your intercession and concern.
我感謝神，也感謝大家的代禱和關懷。
小頁 markvmax@hotmail.com
歡迎主內同靈來信加入翻譯
留言列表
