12. Manna issue 60 - Finding Hope in Every Circumstance 在任何環境中，找到盼望
Growing up without a church nearby. 附近沒有教會的成長
Growing Up as a Remote Area True Jesus Church Member
Christine Lin—Raleigh, North Carolina, USA
作為偏遠地區真耶穌教會信徒的成長
美國北卡羅萊納州洛里市
When you first step into the chapel on Sabbath morning,
what crosses your mind?
For many of us, it is simply another Saturday at church.
But what if you didn’t have a local True Jesus Church to go to each week?
What if you couldn’t attend Bible studies or youth fellowships with your brothers and sisters
and could only see them a few times a year?
當你安息日早上第一次踏進教會時，
你想到了什麼事呢？
對我們許多人來說，這只是教會的另一個星期六。
但是，如果每週您當地沒有真耶穌教會可以去時，該怎麼辦呢？
如果您不能與弟兄姐妹一起參加查經或青年團契時，
而且一年只能見到她們很少次，該怎麼辦呢？
As a remote area True Jesus Church member,
I have learned to treasure activities that seem normal or routine to others.
身為一位偏遠地區真耶穌教會的信徒，
我學會了珍惜別人看來正常或日常習慣的活動。
Before I was born, my parents moved to Raleigh, North Carolina,
almost 400 miles away from the nearest church.
I was baptized when I was two,
and my family and my mother’s family were all believers.
在我出生之前，我的父母搬到了北卡羅來納州的洛里市，
幾手距離最近的教會 400 英里。
我兩歲時就受洗了，
我家人和母親的家人全都是信徒。
In Raleigh, there were three or four families that would join us for service.
However, my mother’s family later moved to California and the others left church.
Even though joining a non-True Jesus Church church in the area
would have made our worship lives easier,
we stayed in True Jesus Church
because we sincerely believed that this was the true church.
在洛里，有三、四個家庭會加入我們聚會。
然而，我母親的家庭後來搬到加州，而其他人就離開了教會。
即使加入該地區的非真耶穌教會，
會讓我們的敬拜生活變得更輕鬆，
我們待在真耶穌教會，
因為我們真的相信這是真教會。
Ever since I was a child,
our Sabbath family service has been the same
— one hour of watching a sermon tape in our own home.
Because I didn’t have a religious education class,
my dad taught me everything I knew.
I didn’t have religious education teachers to look up to
or brothers and sisters my age to support me.
自我還是個小孩時，
我們的安息日家庭聚會都是一樣的，
—在自己家裡觀看一小時的講道影片。
因為我沒有上過宗教教育，
我爸爸教了我所知道的一切。
我沒有可敬重的宗教教育老師，
或是與我同年紀的兄弟姊妹來支持我。
At first, I complained about my circumstances,
and I considered leaving church many times.
After all, I didn’t have a physical church to go to.
起初，我抱怨自己的處境，
我有很多次想要離開教會。
畢竟，我沒有實體教會可以去。
But I learned that as long as we have faith in God’s plan,
He will reveal His purpose for us.
And in the meantime, He provides us with everything we need to overcome our struggles,
which I have personally experienced.
但我了解到，只要我們對神的計畫有信心，
他會給我們顯露祂的目的。
同時，祂給我們預備克服困難所需的一切，
這是我親身體驗過的。
ASKING QUESTIONS 提出問題
When I was about ten years old,
my parents felt it was time for me to start attending church events,
so I went to my first Student Spiritual Convocation (SSC) at Elizabeth Church in New Jersey.
It was a new experience for me because it was my first time in a church since my baptism.
當我十歲左右的時候，
我父母覺得我是時候要開始參加教會活動了，
所以我去新澤西的伊麗莎白教會參加自已第一次的學生靈恩會（SSC）。
這對我的一次新體驗，因為這是自我受洗以來第一次去教會。
To actually step into a chapel,
hear sermons in person, and sing hymns with a crowd of people was amazing for me.
I felt that I had found my true home, filled with family and friends.
It was there that I learned about the importance of the Holy Spirit and how He could help me.
直到真正走進會堂時，
親自聆聽講道，與一群人唱讚美詩對我來說真的很奇妙。
我覺得自已已經找到了真正的家，充滿了家人和朋友。
正是在那裡，我才了解到聖靈的重要性，以及祂會如何幫助我。
I went to SSC every chance that I had, but year after year,
I went home without the Holy Spirit.
I was very frustrated with God and felt it was unfair
that He put me in a place without a church.
Everyone else had a church to go to, and they had the Holy Spirit.
Why was it that I had neither?
By the time I started my first year of high school,
I had been attending SSC for several years.
I made a lot of friends at school,
but because my closest friends were from church, I still felt very lonely.
我一有機會就會去參加學生靈恩會 SSC，但年復一年，
我回家時都沒有得到聖靈。
我對神感到很沮喪，覺得這樣很不公平，
他把我放置於一個沒有教會的地方。
其他人都有教會可以去，他們也都有聖靈。
為什麼我兩者都沒有呢？
到了我開始讀高中一年級的時候，
我已經參加學生靈恩會 SSC 很多年了。
我在學校交了很多朋友，
但因為我最親密的朋友是來自於教會，所以我仍然感到很孤單。
I had dealt with depression throughout my life,
and I reached my lowest point during my last semester of high school.
I was still praying for the Holy Spirit,
but I began to think that
perhaps God had forgotten or didn’t care about me.
我一生都要處理面對憂鬱症，
在我高中最後一個學期時，我情緒達到了最低點。
我仍在祈求聖靈，
但我開始認為，
也許神已經忘記了或不關心我。
During those six months,
I learned that depression was not simply a mental condition.
It had everything to do with my low spirituality,
and it also affected my health.
I sought comfort from my church friends,
but they could only pray for me and talk to me over the phone or Internet.
I knew that the majority of them
couldn’t empathize with what I was going through.
在那六個月裡，
我了解到憂鬱症不只是一種精神疾病。
這和我的靈性低落有很大關係，
這也影響我的健康。
我向教會的朋友尋求安慰，
但是他們只能為我禱告，並透過電話或網路與我交談。
我知道他們大多數，
都無法心中了解我正在經歷的事情。
I began to think about what I had to do to get out of this endless cycle.
My high school years were almost over,
and I would soon begin a new chapter of my life.
Perhaps this would be my chance to make a fresh start.
我開始思考自已必須做什麼事，才能擺脫這個無止盡的循環。
高中時光幾乎快結束了
我很快就會開始自已人生的新篇章。
也許這將是我重新開始的機會。
I only applied to two schools:
Rutgers University and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (UNC).
Although UNC was much closer to home (only thirty minutes away),
I had every intention of going to Rutgers in New Jersey if I was accepted.
我只申請了兩所學校：
羅格斯大學和北卡羅來納大學教堂山分校 (UNC)。
雖然北卡羅來納大學離家比較近（只有三十分鐘路程），
如果我被錄取了，我完全想要去新澤西州的羅格斯大學。
At Rutgers, not only was there a church nearby
but also a campus fellowship with most of my closest church friends.
I felt I needed to surround myself with people
who could help me keep up my faith.
I didn’t want to feel lonely anymore.
在羅格斯大學，附近不僅有一間教會，
也有校園團契，裡面都是與我最親密的教會朋友。
我覺得自已需要讓有人來圍繞自己，
他們可以幫助我保持自已的信仰。
我不想再感到孤單。
When the winter SSC came that year,
I prayed for the Holy Spirit and told God I wanted to go to Rutgers
because it would help my faith.
Rutgers seemed like the obvious choice,
and my parents supported my decision.
那年冬季學生靈恩會 SSC 來到時，
我祈求聖靈，並告訴神自已想要去羅格斯大學，
因為這會幫助自已的信仰。
羅格斯大學似乎是很顯明的選擇，
我的父母也支持我的決定。
However, when I arrived home after the convocation,
my mother simply told me, “You’re going to UNC.”
It wasn’t His will for me to go to Rutgers,
and it wasn’t time for me to receive His Holy Spirit yet.
But I couldn’t understand
why God wanted me to stay in North Carolina.
然而，當我畢業典禮結束後回到家時，
我媽媽只告訴我，“你將要去北卡羅來納大學。”
我去羅格斯大學並不是神的旨意，
我還沒到時間，可以得到祂的聖靈。
但我無法理解，
為什麼神要我留在北卡羅來納州。
After moving to college my first year,
I was not only away from my church peers but my family as well.
Because of my busy school schedule,
I didn’t see my parents for weeks or months at a time.
在進入了大學第一年之後，
我不只遠離了自已教會的同伴，也遠離了家人。
由於我的學業很忙碌，
有一段時間，我有好幾個星期或幾個月都沒有去見自已的父母。
The hardest part about college was facing the loneliness.
I cried myself to sleep most nights.
I kept asking God,
“Why am I here?
Why didn’t you let me go to Rutgers?
How can I possibly keep up my faith if no one is here with me?”
大學時最難的部分就是要面對孤獨。
大多數的夜裡我都是哭著入睡的。
我一直求神，
“為什麼我會在這裡？
為什麼你不讓我去羅格斯大學呢？
如果沒有人在我身邊，我怎麼可能保持自已的信仰呢？
FINDING ANSWERS 得到答案
The first lesson I learned on my own,
without friends or family around,
was to find motivation through God.
I thank God that, at some point,
I realized I had to pray harder and longer every day
in order to survive spiritually.
This isn’t to say that
I had stronger faith or that I was better than others.
This was just something I had to do.
我自己學到的第一課，
沒有朋友或家人在身邊，
是透過神找到動力。
我感謝神，在某個時刻，
我意識到自已每天必須更努力，更長時間的禱告，
為了靈性的生存。
這並不是說，
我有更堅定的信心，或者說我比別人更好。
這只是我必須做的事情。
After finding sermon recordings on the True Jesus Church e-Library website,
I put together a schedule for myself on weekdays and Sabbaths.
On weekday nights, I sang a hymn, prayed for thirty minutes,
and read three chapters of the Bible.
Sabbath day was more flexible,
but I usually listened to a sermon in the morning and afternoon
and wrote reflections on the week.
在真耶穌教會電子圖書館網站上找到講道錄音後，
我為自己整理訂定了平日和安息日的時間表。
平日晚上，我唱讚美詩，禱告三十分鐘，
並且閱讀聖經三章。
安息日比較靈活，
但我通常早上和下午聽講道，
並寫下本週的反思。
I spent my first year of college adjusting to this schedule.
I often fell asleep listening to sermons or reading the Bible,
or I didn’t have the motivation to pray.
Other times, I became so busy with schoolwork
that I forgot to make God my first priority.
我用大學的第一年來調適這個時間表。
我常常聽講道或讀聖經時就睡著了，
或者我沒有動力去禱告。
其他時間，我的學業變得很忙，
我忘了把神放在第一位。
Nonetheless, after many months,
I gradually grew so accustomed to spending time with God every day
that it felt wrong if I didn’t.
Through little things every day,
He reminded me that He was watching over me.
He guided me through my schoolwork
and gave me a reason to wake up each morning and start again.
然而，幾個月之後，
我漸漸習慣每天花時間與神在一起，
如果我不這樣做就會感覺不對。
透過每天進行的小事，
祂提醒我祂正在看顧我。
他指引我完成課業，
並給我每天早上醒來並重新開始的理由。
I began to understand God’s will for me
when He gave me the opportunity to attend the National Youth Theological Seminar (NYTS)
for three consecutive summers.
The second time I attended, like the first,
I spent most of my prayers asking God, “Why?”
我開始明白神對我的旨意，
當祂給我機會去參加全國青年神訓班（NYTS），
連續三個暑假。
我第二次參加，就像首次一樣，
我用大部分的禱告求問神：“為什麼？”
Only this time, rather than complaining about my situation,
I wanted to know His will for me.
After many prayers, a verse came to me:
只是這一次，我沒有抱怨自己的處境，
我想知道祂對我的旨意。
經過多次祈禱後，我想起了一首詩：
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are My ways higher than your ways,
and My thoughts than your thoughts.”
(Isa 55:8, 9)
8耶和華說：我的意念非同你們的意念；
我的道路非同你們的道路。
9天怎樣高過地，照樣，
我的道路高過你們的道路；
我的意念高過你們的意念。
（賽 55：8，9）
With this one verse, God answered all of my questions.
神用這一節經文回答了我所有的問題。
In the journal I kept during the seminar,
I wrote down these realizations:
在神訓班我保留的日記中，
我寫下了這些領悟：
1. I am in North Carolina for a reason.
I am physically away from brothers and sisters
so that my faith will grow
—my own faith,
and not that of my parents or my church friends.
1. 我來北卡羅來納州是有原因的。
在肉體上我遠離了兄弟姐妹，
使自已的信心可以增長，
—是我自己的信仰，
而不是我父母或教會朋友的信心。
2. I am in North Carolina because God wants to train me.
Ever since my first NYTS, God has been training me to serve Him.
2. 我在北卡羅萊納州是因為神要訓練我。
自從我第一次參加全國青年神訓班 NYTS，神都一直在訓練我來事奉祂。
3. I have not received the Holy Spirit yet
so that I will first learn a few things and strengthen my faith.
God wants me to stay strong and set an example for others
—that through Him,
they may see that my life is a miracle.
It is a miracle that I can stand here today.
3. 我還沒有得到聖靈，
這樣我首先會學到一些事情，並堅固自已的信心。
神要我保持堅強，並為別人樹立榜樣，
—靠祂的榜樣，
他們可能會看到我的生活就是奇蹟。
真的很奇妙，我今天能站在這裡。
4. God has a special purpose for me.
He wants my life, my background, and my circumstances
to strengthen and encourage the people around me.
4. 神給我一個特殊的目標。
祂想要我的生活，我的背景，和我的情況，
來加強鼓勵我周遭的人。
All this time, I had done nothing but complain to God.
I couldn’t see past the things I didn’t have
in order to see that God had a bigger plan for me all along.
一直以來，我除了向神抱怨之外，什麼事情都沒做。
我不能看清自已所沒有的事物，
為了可以看見神一直對我都有更大的計劃。
A PRECIOUS GIFT 珍貴的禮物
My third NYTS in 2008 was the most memorable
because God gave me what I needed to overcome my struggles.
During those two weeks,
I felt as though each day was a spiritual battle.
2008 年我第三次神訓班 NYTS 是最難忘的，
因為神給我克服困難所需的一切。
在那兩周里，
我覺得就像每天都是一場屬靈的戰鬥。
In some prayers, I felt I had reached a spiritual high,
but at the same time I knew Satan was doing all he could to pull me back.
But, thank God, I had many brothers and sisters praying for me each day,
and it was enough to encourage me.
在一些祈禱中，我覺得自已早達到了一種屬靈的高度，
但同時之間，我知道撒旦正在盡其所能的把我拉下來。
但是，感謝神，每天都有許多弟兄姐妹為我禱告，
這就足以安慰我了。
After praying for over ten years,
I received the Holy Spirit at the age of twenty.
God had given me something so precious and fragile,
and I felt it was my responsibility to cultivate it and make it grow.
經過十幾年的禱告後，
我在二十歲時得到了聖靈。
神竟給了我如此珍貴又脆弱的東西，
我覺得自已有責任培養牠並讓祂成長。
In the following months,
the Holy Spirit helped me to change into a different person.
I began to take on a more optimistic approach to life
and was gradually able to overcome depression.
接著幾個月下來，
聖靈幫我變成了另一個人。
我開始對生活採取更樂觀的態度，
並逐漸能夠克服憂鬱症。
Now, as I apply for graduate school,
whether God wants me to stay in North Carolina
or go to a school near a church,
I have no doubt that He will continue to guide me in the right direction
and give me the strength to overcome future trials.
現在，當我申請研究所時，
不論神是否要我留在北卡羅來納州，
或去有教會在附近的學校，
我不會懷疑，祂將繼續帶領我走向正確的方向，
並給我力量去克服未來的考驗。
One thing is for sure
—living in a remote area means experiencing various trials
that are different from what most brothers and sisters face.
We may feel that no one understands what we’re going through
or that we don’t know if we can overcome our struggles.
Or perhaps, we don’t know if God is listening to our prayers.
有一點是肯定的，
—活在偏遠地區代長了要經歷各種考驗，
這與大多數弟兄姐妹所面臨的情況有所不同。
我們可能會覺得，沒有人可以理解自已正在經歷的事情，
或者我們不知道自已是否能夠克服困難。
或許，我們不知道神是否垂聽我們的禱告。
Though we may not understand God’s will at first,
within every circumstance is the hope of God’s promises and His guidance.
What seems to be a discouraging situation at first can turn out to be full of hope.
雖然我們一開始可能不明白神的旨意，
在任何情況下，都有神的應許和引領的盼望。
起初看似令人沮喪的情況可能會變得充滿希望。
小頁 markvmax@hotmail.com
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