Manna issue 72 - Treasured Moments with God: How God Walked With Me Through Graduate School 與神同行的寶貴時間：神如何陪我走完研究所
A bumpy road paved with God’s love. 雖然一路走來崎嶇不平，但隨時有神的愛同在
Lois Kuo—Pacifica, California, USA
美國太平洋教會 - Lois 郭
FROM THE START 一開始
It was my first day in a new city. I
had been caught up in a frenzy of
packing after a summer crammed
with church events. It was not until
I was sitting alone on an unfamiliar
bed in my unfamiliar room that I was
suddenly struck by the immensity
of being so far from everyone and
everything I knew. “What have I
gotten myself into?” The thought
literally immobilized me. I didn’t
know what to do or where to go.
那天是我來到這個新城市的第一天。
在暑期參加完一大堆教會的活動之後，我就急需趕快完成所有打包的工作。
一直到我自已獨自坐在一間陌生房中的床上之前，我都覺得很好，但是突然間，有一種巨大的壓迫感向我襲來，一切熟悉的人事物，都離我好遠好遠。
我自已到底是陷入了什麼情況呢？
這種念頭，就字面上所帶來的涵意，讓我不能控制自已。
我甚至不知道要作什麼，去那裡。
At that moment, my cell phone
rang. It was a local church sister,
telling me that another sister was
visiting from abroad. She would be
taking her to see the sights of the
city and invited me to go along. I was
flooded with relief and gratitude to
God. He had known how I would
feel and had prepared this invitation
to help me break out of my paralysis.
This is how God helped me from
the first day of my graduate school
journey.
在那個時候，我的手機嚮了起來。
是一位當地教會的姐妹，她跟我說，有另外一位姐妹要從國外來訪問。
她將會帶著訪客一起去看看這座城市的風景，也順便邀請我跟她一起去。
突然間，我就有一種被釋放的感覺，心中油然升起對神的感謝。
因為祂已經知道，我會有什麼感受，並且預先準備了這次的訪問行程，來幫助我打破我的麻痹狀態。
這就是神，在我研究所第一天一開始，就這麼幫助我的經過。
While getting to know the
surroundings and local church
members, in the newness of it all, I
forgot my fear. But on the first day
of class, the feeling of intense dread
returned. “Why did I do this? Why
did I come here? I know nothing
about journalism!” I had a knot in
my stomach and I felt nauseous. I
opened my Bible to read a passage,
knowing I would have to dash off to
class immediately after. I happened to
be reading Daniel chapter 1. When I
read verse 17, it stopped me in my
tracks: “As for these four young
men, God gave them knowledge and
skill in all literature and wisdom.”
一旦對附近的地方以及當地的弟兄姐妹有了解之後，身處於一切的新奇的環境之中，我就遺忘了一切恐懼。
但是第一天上課時，強烈恐懼的感覺又發生了。
"我為什麼會這樣呢？為什麼我要來這裡？我對新聞工作一點都不熟悉啊！"
突然間我就好像腸胃糾結了起來一樣，好想嘔吐。
我打開了聖經，讀了一段經文，也知道在讀完聖經之後，我要立刻衝到教室去。
剛好我正讀到但以理書第一章。
當我讀到17節的時候，我就停在去教室的路上，好好看了一下：
"17這四個少年人，神在各樣文字學問（學問：原文是智慧）上賜給他們聰明知識； "
I felt God’s comfort through the
verse. Daniel was not only in a foreign
place, but in a foreign country. How
insecure he must have felt living in a
foreign king’s palace! If God could
give Daniel wisdom in literature, He
could also give me knowledge of
journalism. Suddenly, my heart was
calm. I knew that I was here to study
for God, so what did I have to fear?
我透過這個經節，感受到神的安慰。
但以理不只身處於異地，更身處於外國。
當他住在外國王宮裡的時候，一定很沒有安全感。
若是神都能讓但以理在文學上變得如此有知慧，祂也可以賜我新聞工作的知識。
突然間，我的內心就平靜了。
我深知，我會在這裡是為了主而學習，所以我有什麼好害怕的呢？
GOD WAS MY FRIEND 神是我的好朋友
Although God reassured me as I
started out, it did not mean that
it would be an easy ride. I waited
for God to place the knowledge of
journalism directly into my head, but
it never happened. I still had to learn
the hard way. I struggled to catch
up with my classmates who were
either journalism undergraduate
majors or had worked in the field. I
had thought that my undergraduate
degree in English was closely related,
but it turned out that the rules of
journalism were different in many
ways.
雖然在我開始的時候，神不斷向我保証，但這並不代表，我就可以過得很輕鬆。
我等候神直接把新聞工作的知識，直接放進我的頭腦之中，但是這卻沒有發生。
我仍然是要好好的努力學習。
我需要花費許多心力，才能跟得上同班同學，他們很多人以前在大學裡，就是主修新聞系的，或是本來就是已經在新聞領域工作的人。
我曾經認為，我自已大學的英文主修和新聞系是非常接近，而且相關的，但最後發現，新聞的通則在很多方面上，是完全不一樣的。
In class, I was constantly lost, not
understanding the terms used. The
most I could do was to pretend I
knew what everyone was talking
about. I cringed when my articles
returned all marked up in red, and I
struggled with accepting the critical
edits of my professors and classmates.
It was disheartening because I felt so
inadequate that it seemed impossible
to catch up with others.
在上課時，我常常跟不上課程的進度，也不太明白所被使用的詞彙。
常常我所能作的就是，要假裝我能明白大家在討論的事情。
當我的文章被退回來，並且上面被用紅筆作了許多批註的時候，我變得害怕了，
我努力去接受，教授和同學對我嚴厲的評判和校正。
這讓我很沮喪，因為我能力不足，要追上別人的程度，似乎是不可能的。
At the same time, I struggled
with finding a part-time job. Every
month, I worried that I would not be
able to pay the rent. I scrimped on
everything I could, but things were
still very tight. I prayed for God’s help
but became resentful that He did
not help me find a way to provide
for my basic necessities. When I
was considering to attend graduate
school, I had thought of working for
a few years first to earn money. In the
end, I directly went on to pursue my
studies, because it was clear that God
was leading me down this path.
同時間裡，我也努力要找一份兼職的工作。
每個月，我很害怕，會繳不出房租。
日常生活的每一件花費，我都很節省，但是還是覺得一切的花費都很緊迫。
我向神祈求幫助，但是因為祂都沒有幫我找到一個方式，來供應我生活的基本需求，所以我變得有點討厭神。
當我考慮要讀研究所的時候，我有想過先去工作幾年，賺一些錢再說。
但最後，我直接就去追求更進一步的學術研究，因為我得到很清楚的指示，就是神引導我要走這一條路。
My complaints echoed those of the
Israelites in the wilderness. I could
not understand why He asked me to
leave my familiar surroundings and
took me to a place without bread and
water. Just as the Israelites had seen
God’s miracles in Egypt, I had clear
signs from Him that graduate school
was the right choice. But now that I
was here, where was God? I felt as
if He had left me to fend for myself.
我的抱怨就像以色列人在曠野裡的怨言一樣。
我不了解，為什麼祂要我離開熟悉的環境，把我帶到一個沒有食物和水的地方。
就像以色列人已經在埃及親眼見証神蹟，我也有來自神清楚的指示，研究所才是正確的選擇。
但如今我在這裡了，但神在那裡呢？
我感覺就像是，祂留下我一個人，要自已獨立照顧我自已。
Daniel was not only in a foreign place, but in a foreign country.
How insecure he must have felt living in a foreign king’s palace! If
God could give Daniel wisdom in literature, He could also give me
knowledge of journalism. Suddenly, my heart was calm. I knew
that I was here to study for God, so what did I have to fear?
但以理不只身處於異地，更身處於外國。
當他住在外國王宮裡的時候，一定很沒有安全感。
若是神都能讓但以理在文學上變得如此有知慧，祂也可以賜我新聞工作的知識。
突然間，我的內心就平靜了。
我深知，我會在這裡是為了主而學習，所以我有什麼好害怕的呢？
I was tired of the rejections and
roadblocks when hunting down
stories and interviews, a part of
journalism that I had been unprepared
for. Especially since I was new to the
city, I did not have connections or
referrals. My classmates were not
friendly or helpful. I often felt that
I was at the mercy of strangers and
that the strangers around me were
not that merciful. This profession
required one to have a very tough
skin, and I didn’t have it.
要發掘新聞題材，或是要找新訪談對象，這是新聞工作一部份，但我卻還沒準備好，所以在遇到別人的回絕或是阻攔時，我就感到很沮喪。
特別是這座城市對我來說，是一座陌生的城市，我既沒有特別的新聞連絡管道，也沒有別人可以幫我作推薦。
而我的同學一點也不友善，而且也不能對我有幫助。
我常常感覺到，我是受到陌生人所支配的，但是這些陌生人對我一點也不友善。
這個職業，需要一個人有一副堅強的外表，但我卻沒有。
This feeling gradually built up. One
day, I was supposed to interview a
police officer. But I did not feel like
leaving the house. I was in the midst
of a writing-intensive semester, with
an average of four articles due each
week. I was weary from the constant
stress of article deadlines. I knelt
down to pray and decided that I
would not get up until I felt peaceful.
In the back of my mind, I thought:
“if it takes all day, then, oh well, I
don’t feel up to doing the interview
anyway.”
這種感覺逐漸累積。
有一天，我預定要看一位警官作訪談。
但我卻覺得不想離開家。
因為那個學期，我正好有許多寫作方面的課程，每周會平均有四篇文章會到期，要馬上交稿。
因為交稿的最後期限，會持續性的帶來壓力，就我變得很虛弱。
我跪下來禱告，並決定了，直到我覺得內心很平靜，不然我就不停止禱告，站起來。
但在我心思的背後，我是這麼想的：假如要禱告一整天，嗯，好吧，反正我對既將要作的訪談，也提不起一點興趣。
As I knelt, I poured out my heart
to God. In the midst of this, I felt
God speak to me through a thought
that came very clearly to me: “The
police officer will be your friend.”
I was surprised. How could this
stranger possibly be my friend?
As I pondered what that meant, I
realized that although I did not have
connections to people in the area,
God was my connection. The people
I thought I had chanced upon were
placed there by God’s arrangement.
I recalled the time I had walked
into an independent art gallery and
felt very timid as the elderly owner
snapped impatiently at me. I was just
about to give up and leave when
one of his volunteers appeared. He
treated me with extreme kindness,
willingly looking up the history and
pricing of various art pieces so I could
have enough information to write an
article. He said he volunteered only
certain hours on certain days. But it
was not until that moment in prayer
that I understood that the timing
was not a coincidence. I also recalled
how I had first met this police officer
I was to interview. Without getting
his contact information when I was
working at the polls as a translator,
I would have had to make cold calls
to police stations and would have
received more rejections. Therefore,
if God said that this person would
be my friend, then I believed Him.
Strengthened, I got up and left the
house for the interview.
當我跪了下來，我向神傾心吐意。
禱告之中，我感覺到，神透過一種讓我感覺非常清楚的想法，來向我表達：
"這位警官將會是你的好朋友"。
我很驚訝。
怎麼可能有一位陌生人，突然間，就成為我的好朋友？
當我正在沉思這是什麼意思的時候，我了解到，雖然我在這個地方，並沒有任何特殊連絡管道的人事物，但是神就是我的連絡管道。
那些我認為會碰到的人，其實是透過神的安排才遇到的。
我想起，當我獨自走進一間私立的美術館的時候，那位年長的老闆不耐煩的打量著我，讓我感到有一點點的畏縮。
正當我想要放棄離開的時候，有一個志工來了。
他用非常和善的態度接待我，很樂意幫我查詢各種藝術作品的歷史和價錢，這樣我才有足夠的資訊來寫作文章。
他說，他只在某些日期和特定時間，才來當志工。
一直到禱告的時候，我才了解，這個時間點不是巧合，若不是這個時間點，我將遇不到他。
我也記得，第一次我是如何遇到這位我要訪談的警官。
一開始，我並沒有他的連絡資訊，那時我是以一位翻譯員的身份，正在作民意調查的工作，
我很有可能就只是用電訪的方式，連絡警察局，想當然爾，會吞下更多別人的拒絕。
所以，假如神說，這個人要成為我的朋友，那麼我就會相信神，祂加給我力量，我就起來，離開房子去作訪談。
God was indeed faithful. The police
officer was not only an easy person
to interview but also gave me a
police officer pin and a tour of the
police department, introducing me to
his chief and colleagues. Afterward,
he drove me to the supermarket
and introduced me to his wife so
that I could interview her as well.
Through his introductions, I could
get the three voices required for an
article although I had not specifically
requested them. While speaking with
his wife, he bought me a bagel. And
afterward, since it was raining, he
and his wife drove me home instead
of dropping me off at the subway. I
felt that his kindness was completely
uncharacteristic of the people I had
met, and I could explain it in no other
way than the mercy of God.
神真的是信實的神。
這位警官不僅是一位容易接受訪談的對象，他給我一個警徽，並且幫我導覽了警察局，並且向我介紹了他的主管和同事。
之後，他開車帶我到一間超市，向我介紹他的太太，所以我也能向他太太作訪談。
透過他的介紹，我可以找到文章裡，所需要的三種聲音，雖然我並沒有特意要向他們來作這樣的請求。
當和他太太說話的時候，他買了培果麵包給我。
之後正好在下雨，他和他太太開車送我回家，而不是把我丟在捷運車站。
我感覺，他是我所遇到過的所有人之中，他對人的和善完全不是出自於人，所以我所能作的解釋就是，沒有別的，而是單純來自於神的慈愛。
LOOKING BACK 反省
When I think back on my graduate
school experience, this verse
reverberates in my mind:
當我想起研究所生活的經驗時，這節經文就會在我腦中再度回想起：
Go and cry in the hearing of Jerusalem,
saying, ‘Thus says the LORD:
“I remember you,
The kindness of your youth,
The love of your betrothal,
When you went after Me in the
wilderness,
In a land not sown.”
(Jer 2:2)
2你去向耶路撒冷人的耳中喊叫說，耶和華如此說：你幼年的恩愛，婚姻的愛情，你怎樣在曠野，在未曾耕種之地跟隨我，我都記得。
(耶 2：2)
I came across this verse while
reading the Bible at home one day.
It brought me to tears because God
wanted me to know that though
I felt that He was so far away, He
did remember me. Though I was
struggling in those years of graduate
studies, my previous servitude and
passion for Him had not been in
vain, for He remembered them, and
treasured them. During a spiritual
convocation a few days afterward,
during one prayer, I felt God tenderly
saying repeatedly, “I remember you,”
and I felt His presence all around me.
My heart was full. I was touched by
the fact that God wanted to comfort
me, and knew it was true that He
never forgot me.
有一天我在家讀經時，正巧讀到這節經文。
讀到這節經文讓我深受感動而流淚，因為神要讓我知道，雖然我感覺到祂是這麼的遙遠，但是祂依然會記得我。
雖然在這幾年的研究所學習生活中，我過得很辛苦，我之前對神的服事和熱情，並沒有白費，因為祂都記得這一切的事，並且非常的珍惜。
在之後幾天的靈恩會期間，在一次禱告中，我感覺到神很溫柔地一再重覆的說，"我記得你"，
而且我也能感覺到，祂的存在和能力包圍呵護著我。
我的內心感到滿足。
神也會安慰我，讓我深深感動，並且也知道，祂是真的永遠不會忘記我。
God resolved my financial stress
when my academic advisor asked
me to be a teaching assistant for
one of his undergraduate classes
and when a church family asked
me to babysit. I enjoyed both jobs
immensely and learned a lot from
them. As I adjusted to the specific
demands of journalism school, I
was able to appreciate and make
the most of that special time in my
life as a graduate student. Although
answers did not come immediately, I
see God’s thoughtfulness in the way
He provided for me in the end. So in
times when we feel weak, let us hold
fast to the belief that though the way
we walk is not smooth, it is paved
with the love of God, which remains
steadfast at all times.
當時候來臨，指導教授聘我去一堂大學課程當助教，並且有信徒的家庭請我去幫忙帶小孩，神解決了我財務的壓力，
我深深的喜愛著我的這兩份工作，並且從其中學到很多。
當我試著把新聞學校的主修課程作調整的時候，我就真的能夠珍惜和好好利用這個在我生命中，身為研究生的時刻。
雖然想要祈求的回答，並沒有馬上得到，但我卻可以在一路走來，深深感受到神的體貼，讓我最後能夠領受祂所賞賜的一切。
所以我們感到軟弱的時候，要更加堅固信心，相信雖然我們走的路並沒有那麼平順，但卻是一路上充滿神的愛，不論什麼時候，神的愛永遠同在。
小頁 markvmax@hotmail.com
歡迎主內同靈來信加入英翻中的事工
目前英文嗎哪雜誌為二個月出版一刊
每位譯者會是二 個月翻譯一篇英文稿
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