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11. Manna issue 57 - When God Is Your Matchmaker 若神是你的婚介

Complete trust in the most important decision. 在最重要的決定時完全信靠

Julie Lin—Baldwin Park, California, USA 美國加州博恩教會

I am joyful to testify 
that God has guided me in the biggest decision of my life
—that is, my marriage. 
Growing up, my mother was a believer, 
but my father was not. 
There were times when I could not participate in church activities 
because my father thought 
that there were more important things in life than one’s faith.

我很高興作見證，
神指引我做了人生中最重要的決定，
—那就是我的婚姻。
我從小到大，母親是信徒，
但我父親不是。
有好幾次我無法參加教會活動，
因為我父親認為，
人生中還有很多更重要的事情，比起個人信仰。

I saw how my mom expended so much effort 
to bring my siblings and me to church. 
She spent a lot of time kneeling before God and shedding tears 
to preserve her own faith and her children’s faith.

我目睹母親如何付出那麼多的心血，
為了帶我們兄弟姊姐去教會。
她花了很多時間跪在神面前，流著淚，
為的是守護她自己的信仰，也守護她孩子的信仰。

Growing up in church, Religious Education teachers often reminded us
that we should not be yoked together with unbelievers. 
As I matured, I became convinced that I wanted to marry in the Lord 
because I did not want to spend a major portion of my lifetime 
fighting for something that was as essential to me as my faith. 
I simply wanted to build up a Christian family and serve the Lord.

在教會長大，宗教教育老師常提醒我們，
我們不應該與不信的人同負一軛。
隨著年齡的增長，我很確信自己想在主裡結婚，
因為我不想把自已生命大部分的時間，
浪費爭取某些對自已很重要的事物，如自已的信仰。
我只想建立一個基督家庭，並服事主。

FEELING INCOMPLETE 感覺不完全

Under the Lord’s guidance, 
I went back to Taiwan for my undergraduate degree. 
I had grown accustomed to Western culture
since immigrating to the US when I was twelve, 
and there were many adjustments I had to make when I went back. 
It was a different society, and I lived a very different type of lifestyle.

在主的指引下，
我回到台灣取得大學學歷。
我早已習慣了西方文化，
自從十二歲時移民美國以來，
當回歸時，我需要做出許多調整。
那是不同的社會，而我過著一種非常不同的生活方式。

In college, most of my friends were Gentiles, 
and most of them had boyfriends or girlfriends. 
The common view was 
that freshmen could be the most selective about choosing a guy. 
Then, in sophomore year, one should lower one’s standards, 
and by junior year, 
one should hurry up because it would be hopeless by senior year.

大學時，我朋友大多是外邦人，
他們大多都有男女朋友。
普遍的看法是，
大一新生在擇偶方面可能是最挑剔的。
到了大二，個人應該降低了自已的標準，
到了大三，
個人就該趕快一點，因為到了大四就會沒希望了。

At times, I felt lonely. 
I would go out with my friends, 
but they would have to leave me in the middle of our outing 
to meet with their boyfriends. 
That started to become a weakness of mine, 
because I, too, wanted to have company, 
and I, too, wanted someone to care for me. 
When there were suitors, these thoughts would intensify.

有時，我會感到孤單。
我會和朋友出去玩，
但她們會在出去玩到一半時就要離開我，
去見她們的男朋友。
這漸漸成了我的一個弱點，
因為我也渴望有伴侶，
我也渴望有人來關心我。
當有追求者出現時，這些想法會更加強烈。

But thanks to the grace of God, 
I would kneel down to pray when I had doubts. 
I started to pray about my marriage in my freshman year of college, 
not because I was desperate for a husband, 
but because I received a lot of comfort in my prayers.
God told me to wait for His timing and arrangement.

但感謝神的恩典，
每當我心存疑慮時，就都會跪下禱告。
我從大學一年級開始就為自已的婚姻禱告，
並非因為我很急於找到丈夫，
而是因為我在禱告中得到了許多的安慰。
神告訴我，要等候祂的時間和安排。

When I prayed for my marriage, 
I didn’t ask for any conditions or list any requirements. 
When I was a little girl, 
I heard a story about how we’re all like a circle with a piece missing. 
Although we can’t see the piece we’re missing, 
I deeply believe that God sees above all and knows what I need. 
He’ll find this lost piece for me.

當我為自已的婚姻禱告時，
我沒有提出任何條件，也沒有列出任何要求。
當自已是小女孩時，
我聽過一個故事，大概是我們大家都多少像一個圓卻缺了一塊碎片。
雖然我們看不見自己缺少的那一塊碎片，
但我深信神會洞察一切，且了我需要的事物。
祂會為我找到這缺失的碎片。

GOD’S CALL 神的呼召

During my junior year in college, 
I spoke to my mom almost every day, 
and she would tell me of various matchmakers
who wanted to match me up with someone. 
Like some of you, I didn’t like the idea of matchmaking. 
I thought it was for older people. 
Also, I was in Taiwan at the time 
and did not want to get involved in a long-distance relationship.

在我大三的時候，
我幾乎每天都會與媽媽聊天，
她會告訴我有很多媒人，
他們想給我介紹對象。
和你們某些人一樣，我不喜歡媒人這種想法。
我覺得那是給年紀稍長的人。
而且，當時我在台灣，
不想談投入異地戀。

I had made a lot of plans for the summer entering into my senior year. 
I was going to take GRE classes and get a job. 
But in my prayers, I had a feeling 
that I needed to go back to the US that summer. 
Since that wasn’t in my plan, I brushed it off.

進入高三那年夏天，我就做了很多計畫。
我打算參加 GRE 考試補習班，然後找份工作。
但在禱告中，我隱隱覺得，
我需要那個夏天回去美國。
因為那不在我的計劃之內，所以我就不以為意。

As the end of the school year neared,
that feeling grew stronger and stronger.
I could not help thinking 
that perhaps God wanted to lead me somewhere, 
so one week before school ended, 
I altered my plans and booked a ticket back to the US.

隨著接近學年結束，
那種感覺越來越強烈。
我不禁想到，
或許神想帶領我去某個地方，
於是，在學期結束前一星期，
我改變了計劃，訂了一張機票回去美國。

It so happened that the 2003 National Youth Theological Seminar (NYTS) 
was being hosted at Baldwin Park Church that summer, 
so I registered as a part-time participant. 
Before the seminar began,
a matchmaker approached me 
and said that I needed to see a brother by the name of Steven Lin, 
who would be visiting Southern California to attend the seminar.
I said, “No.”

那時剛好是 2003 年全國青年神訓班 (NYTS)，
那年夏天在博恩教會舉辦，
於是我報名了間歇學員。
研討會開始前，
一位媒人找到我，
說我該去見見一位名叫史蒂文、林的弟兄，
他將會來南加州來參加神訓班。
我說：“不”。

Perhaps I’ve seen too many movies, 
but I always thought that I would meet my future husband in a romantic way, 
and matchmaking was definitely not on my list!

也許是我看太多電影了，
但我一直以為，自已會有浪漫的方式遇到未來的丈夫，
而相親絕對不在我的考慮範圍之內！

FIRST IMPRESSIONS 第一印象

When the seminar began, 
I remember my first impression of Steven was not very impressive. 
I didn’t know who Steven was,
so my sister pointed him out to me across the hall. 
If you don’t know him, he seems quite intimidating when he doesn’t smile.
The first thought that crossed my mind was, “No way!”

神訓班開始時，
我記得自已對史蒂文的第一印象並不好。
我當時不知道史蒂文是誰，
所以我姐姐越過走廊指著對面的他給我看。
如果你不認識他，他不笑的時候看起來還蠻兇的。
我腦海裡閃過的第一個念頭就是：“不會吧！”

But the matchmaker kept coming back,
and my family members continued to encourage me. 
I thought that maybe I should not hold on to my own judgment
but instead leave this matter in the hands of God.

但媒婆一直回來詢問，
而我家人一直鼓勵我。
我想，或許我不該固執己見，
而反而應該把這件事交在神手中。

I started to pray about this during NYTS.
I also fasted. 
I thought that I should fast for my own marriage, 
whether it was going to be with Steven or someone else. 
At first, I just asked God to guide my way and my marriage. 
After a while, my prayer started to change
—I found peace in my heart. 
I asked the Lord to tell me clearly if Steven was the one, 
because this was a decision that would affect the rest of my life.

在全國青年神訓班 (NYTS) 期間，我就開始為此事禱告。
我也禁食禱告。
我認為，自已應該為自己的婚姻禁食禱告，
無論我的伴侶是史蒂文還是其他人。
起初，我只是祈求神指引我的道路和我的婚姻。
過了一段時間，我的禱告開始改變了
—我發現內心很平安。
我求主清楚告訴我，史蒂文是否就是我的良人，
因為這將會是一個影響我餘生的決定。

Up to this point, the matchmaker had only spoken to me 
and had not yet talked to Steven, 
so I asked God to let him approach me and talk to me first as a sign
that he was the one, since I would not approach him myself.

到目前為止，媒人只告國我，
還沒跟史蒂文談過，
所以我求神讓他先來跟我說話，作為一種徵兆，
證明他就是那個對的人，因為我不會主動去靠近他。

TRUSTING GOD TO LEAD 信靠神帶領

On Wednesday evening, 
I bumped into the matchmaker in the chapel lobby. 
She asked if I had made up my mind since Sunday. 
I thought to myself that since I am an appropriate age and he looks like a nice guy, 
perhaps we could try it out.
But before I was able to answer the matchmaker, 
a sister came to look for her, and they both walked away.

週三晚上，我在教會大廳碰到了媒婆。
她問我從週日以來，我有沒有下決心。
我心想，既然我的年紀合適，而且他看起來還不錯，
或許我們可以試試。
但我還來不及回答媒婆，
一位姐妹就來找她，然後她們兩個就都走開了。

At that moment, I heard a voice coming from my heart asking, 
“What is trust?”
This question shocked me. 
I paused and asked myself, 
“Really, what is trust?” 
Is trust just mentioning my request to God in prayer, 
or is it continuing to have faith in Him 
even if He doesn’t give me an answer?

那一刻，我聽到自已內心深處有一個聲音問道，
“什麼是信靠呢？”
這個問題讓我震驚。
我停頓一下，詢問自己，
“說真的，信靠究竟是什麼呢？”
信靠難道只是禱告中向神提出自已的請求嗎？
那是要繼續對祂有信心，
即使祂沒有給我回應？

If I gave the matchmaker an answer,
then all the prayer and fasting would have been in vain. 
I would have directed my own way instead of trusting God to guide my way.

如果我給媒人答覆了，
那麼所有的禱告和禁食都將白費了。
我將會是自行其事，而不是信賴神來指引我的道路。

When the matchmaker came back for my answer, 
I told her, “I haven’t received a response from God yet.” 
The matchmaker replied, 
“What if you do not receive a response before he leaves?”
“Then he’s probably not the one,” 
I answered.

當媒婆回來問我答覆時，
我告訴她：“我還沒有得到神的回應。”
媒婆回答：
“如果他離開之前，你還沒有收到回應呢？”
“那麼他可能就不是你的良人了。”
我回答。

THE SIGN 徵兆

After prayer the following day, 
I went to the dining room to eat dinner. 
Since students were cleaning the tables, 
half of the dining room was already closed. 
There were other brothers and sisters eating at other tables, 
but I chose to sit alone.

隔天禱告後，
我去餐廳吃晚餐。
因為有很多學生正在收拾桌子，
餐廳一半大廳已經關閉了。
有其他弟兄姐妹在另一半的桌子上吃飯，
但我選擇單獨坐下。

This is what Steven told me happened afterwards: 
He originally approached a table with five brothers, 
but they all left right when he sat down. 
He looked around and saw me at one table 
and Pastor Liang and some other brothers at another table.
He is not the type of guy who would sit alone with a sister, 
but when he was about to go sit with Pastor Liang, 
there was a voice that told him to go and talk to that sister. 
He had reservations, but then another brother sat down with me,
so he thought that it should be okay now to sit at my table.

這是後來史蒂文告訴我發生的事情：
他原本走向一張有五位弟兄的桌子，
但他剛坐下時，他們大家都離開了。
他環顧四周，看到我在一張桌子，
梁傳道和一些其他幾個弟兄坐在另一張桌子。
他不是那種人，會獨自與一位姊妹坐在一起，
但當他正要走過去與梁傳道一起坐時，
有個聲音告訴他，要去跟那位姊妹聊聊。
他有所保留，但之後來有另一位弟兄與我坐一起，
所以他覺得現在應該沒問題，去跟我坐在一起了。

We sat at opposite corners of the table and quietly ate our dinner. 
All of a sudden, he said to me, 
“Hi, my name is Steven.”
Perhaps he didn’t know, 
but I was in shock because I knew God had heard my prayers 
and had answered it clearly.

我們坐在桌子的對角，靜靜的吃著自已的晚餐。

突然間，他對我說：
“你好，我叫史蒂文。”
也許他不知道，
但我震驚了，因為我知道神已經垂聽了我的禱告，
並且明確地回應了我。

Next he asked, “How old are you?”
The second question was just as shocking.
I didn’t stay long. 
I quickly finished my dinner and left 
because I couldn’t wait to go back to pray and ask God, 
“Is this it? Is this it?”

接著他問：“你多大了？”
第二個問題同樣令人震驚。
我沒待多久。
我匆匆吃完晚餐就離開了。
因為我等不及想回去禱告，求問神：
“事情就這樣嗎？事情真的就這樣嗎”

ME, STEVEN, AND…THE PASTORS 我，史帝文與傳道

That night, I told the matchmaker 
that I was willing to start off as friends, 
so the matchmaker approached Steven, 
who said he would pray about it.

那天晚上，我告訴媒人，
我會願意先從朋友做起，
於是媒人聯絡了史蒂文，
他說他會為此禱告。

On Sunday, under the arrangement of the pastors, 
we had our first official meeting. 
We were called outside during the morning class prayer. 
Steven told me that, 
when Pastor Hwang called him from the classroom 
because the sister was waiting at the front door, 
Steven said, “I need to pray more,” 
but Pastor Hwang replied, 
“There is no time. 
You go, and I will stay and pray for you.”

星期天，在傳道的安排下，
我們有了第一次正式會面。
在早禱時，我們被叫到外面。
史蒂文告訴我，
紐黃傳道叫他離開教室時，
因為那位姊妹在前門等著，
史蒂文說：“我需要多禱告。”
但黃傳道回答，
“沒時間了。
你去吧，我會留下來為你禱告。 ”

That afternoon, 
Pastor Jung took us out for lunch and we talked. 
I thank God for all the pastors that encouraged us. 
The next day, Steven left for New Jersey. 
Two weeks later, I returned to Taiwan.

那天下午，
鄭傳道帶我們出去吃午飯，我們聊了一下。
我感謝神，也感謝所有鼓勵我們的幾個傳道。
第二天，史蒂文離開回去紐澤西了。
兩星期後，我回去台灣了。

When I told my friends what happened to me, 
they thought I was insane and was desperately in need of a boyfriend. 
They questioned how I could make the decision to treat someone as a potential husband
when we had only met for two hours over lunch. 
But they did not understand 
that God is the controller of all things and that I trusted Him
—the One who holds the promise and blessings of marriage.

當我把自已的朋友，自已發生的事情時，
她們覺得我瘋了，覺得我很急迫需一個男朋友。
她們質疑我怎麼能下決定把某人認作未來的配偶，
那時我們只有在午餐時見過兩個小時。
但她們不明白，
神掌管一切，而我信靠祂，
—祂就是那獨一真神，掌管了婚姻的應許和祝福。

Steven and I first wrote emails 
and then eventually started to talk on the phone.
In our first exchange of emails, 
I wrote him a small paragraph 
about some of my favorite verses and the teachings that I learned. 
Steven returned to me a three page summary and analysis on the Book of Isaiah. 
He said it was the homework 
that he was supposed to turn in to Pastor Hwang, 
and he wanted to ask me what I thought about it.

我和史蒂文先是通聯電子郵件，
然後最後開始通電話。
在我們的第一次電郵交流中，
我給他寫了一小段文字，
內容是關於我最喜歡的一些經文，以及我學到的教導。
史蒂文回覆我一份三頁的以賽亞書總結和分析。
他說這是家庭作業，
他本應該交給黃傳道，
他想問我對文章的看法。

Thanks to the guidance of God, 
Steven and I were engaged two years later.
I moved back to the US for graduate school, 
and he moved to Los Angeles because of his job.

感謝神的帶領，
兩年後，我和史蒂文訂婚了。
我搬回美國讀研究所，
他則因為工作搬到了洛杉磯。

We spent a lot of time praying after our engagement. 
We would set a time to pray together 
because we knew that God had to be the center of this relationship,
or else it would not last.

我們訂婚後，就花了很多時間禱告。
我們會訂時間一起禱告，
因為我們知道，神必須是這段關係的中心，
否則這段關係不會長久。

Looking back, I thank God for everything. 
I realize that God was my real matchmaker. 
He not only led me to someone who was compatible with me
but gave me someone who was more than I could ask for.

回首往事，我為一切感謝神。
我意識到，神才是我真正的媒人。
他不僅領我去遇到與我契合的個人，
也賜給我一個遠超乎我所求之人。

After we were married in May 2006 at Baldwin Park Church, 
I felt that life was indeed very joyful. 
Not only have I found a life-long companion, 
he is someone who will walk with me in the Lord, 
who can kneel down and pray for me without me asking, 
and who will support me when I am facing trials in life.

2006 年 5 月我們在博恩教堂結婚後，
我感到生活真的非常幸福。
我不僅找到了終生伴侶，
他還是一個會與我在主裡同行走的人，
他會就跪下為我禱告，不用我去請求，
並在我面對人生試煉時，會來支持我。

BE PATIENT…THE MATCHMAKER IS ALSO WORKING ON YOUR MISSING PIECE

I encourage brothers and sisters to be open to all the possibilities 
that God has to offer because to be able to marry in the Lord 
is a blessing beyond imagination.
When God is your matchmaker, 
marriage is not something we have to run away from.

我鼓勵弟兄姐妹要能保持開放的態度，去面對一切可能性，
是神所要給予的，
因為能夠在主裡結婚，
就是一種超乎想像的祝福。
當神成為你們的媒人時，
婚姻就不是我們該逃避的事情。

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD! 
(Ps 27:14)

14要等候耶和華！
當壯膽，
堅固你的心！
我再說，要等候耶和華！
(詩 27：14)

In this age, we face a lot of temptations.
When we walk out into the world, we’re the minority. 
In a school of thousands of people, 
you may be the only believer.
Because of peer pressure, 
we are tempted to make compromises, 
but remember what the Lord told us
—that He is a faithful God and will always prepare the best for us.

在此世代，我們面臨很多誘惑。
當我們出去步入社會，我們就是少數群體。
在一所數千人的學校裡，
你可能是唯一的信徒。
由於同儕的壓力，
我們很容易妥協，
但要記住主告訴我們，
—祂是信實的神，總會為我們預備最好的。

Guard your heart and reserve that special place for that special someone. 
Let God bring your beloved to you and you to your beloved. 
Perhaps it might be the other end of the continent or the other side of the world, 
but patiently wait for Him.

警守你的心，保留那個特殊的位置給那特別的某人。
讓神引領你的愛人找到你，你可以遇到自已的愛人。
或許那可能是大陸的另一端，甚至遠在世界的另一面，
但請耐心等候祂。

小頁 markvmax@hotmail.com
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