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Manna issue 73 Virtues of Counselors (II) - Be Filled With the Love of God

英文嗎哪雜誌中譯 73 期 教會長執的美德 - 被神的愛所充滿

Based on a lecture series 講章系列
by Vuthy Nol-Mantia—Dallas, Texas, USA 達拉斯，德州，美國

Christian counseling is very different from secular counseling because it requires us to see things from God’s
perspective. In the preceding issue, we considered two virtues required of a Christian counselor, namely having
the image and the likeness of Christ and having a close relationship with Christ. In addition, we deliberated on the
weapons available to us in this spiritual battle—the Word and the Spirit of God. In this issue, we continue to explore
the virtues of a counselor. We will consider how counselors for Christ ought to be filled with the love of God.

教會裡的輔導和社會上的諮詢是非常不一樣的，因為我們是需要從神的角度來看事情。
在前一期文章有提到，身為教會的長執要有二樣美德，也就是要有基督的樣子和形狀，也和神有緊密的關係。
不只這樣，在屬靈的戰場上，也要深入了解我們所有的武器 - 聖經和聖靈。
在本期文章裡，我們將繼續探討身為長執，所要應具備的美德。
我們將會來探討，為何身為教會的長執，應該要被神的愛所充滿。

counseling n. 諮詢服務
secular a. 現世的；世俗的
deliberate vi. 不仔細考慮，思考

INTRODUCTION 簡介

We may have heard of people who
had been counseled by the best
counselors but were still unable
to receive the help they required.
Deeper probing will usually reveal
that these people were unable to
benefit from the counselling because
they could not change themselves.
Even our Lord Jesus Christ had such
cases. Jesus was the best counselor
ever, but there were still moments
where His counsel did not convince
everyone to follow Him.

我們可能聽過，有人接受最好的輔導，但是仍然對他們沒有幫助。
再深入的看下去，通常會發現，輔導沒有任何成效，是因為他們不能改變自已。
即使是我們的主基督耶穌，也遇過同樣的情況。
耶穌是世上最好的輔導者，然而有時候，他也沒有辨法讓跟隨的人相信他的勸勉。

probing n. 探索，尋根究底

A case in point was the young rich
ruler who asked Jesus what he ought
to do to inherit eternal life. Jesus’
response to him was clear: “You must
follow the Commandments… Do not
steal, do not defraud, do not deceive;
honor your mother and your father.”
Our Lord Jesus then concluded
by instructing him, “You must sell
everything that you have and give it
to the poor, and then follow me” (cf.
Mt 19:16–18). But the young man
who wanted to enter the heavenly
kingdom was short-sighted. He only
saw the tangible — his wealth and
possessions—which he was unwilling
to leave in order to follow Christ (cf.
Mt 19:21–22).

最好的例子就是，年輕財主問耶穌，我該做甚麼善事才能得永生。
耶穌對他的回答，是清清楚楚明明白白的。
" 當遵守誡命...不可偷盜，不可虧負人，不可欺騙，當孝敬父母。"
另外主耶穌也總結教導他，"去變賣你所有的，分給窮人，就必有財寶在天上；你還要來跟從我。"(太 19：16-18)
但是，這位想要進天國的年輕財主，只能看到眼前的事物。
他只看到有形的物質 - 財富和資產 - 所以不願放棄一切來跟從主。(太 19：21-22)

Commandments n. 誡命
defraud vt. 詐取，詐騙

Similarly, although we earnestly
counsel our brothers and sisters and
they themselves recognize God’s will
for them, they may still make a wrong
decision in the end. Regardless of our
counselees’ response, we should still
be there for them and give them our
best in their moment of need.

同樣，雖然我們認真的開導弟兄姐妹，也讓他們明白神的旨意，但他們最後仍是作了錯誤的決定。
先不論弟兄姐妹的反應如何，我們還是要隨時隨地待命，在別人有需要的時候，適時給予他們最好的幫助。

BE FILLED WITH THE LOVE OF GOD

被神的愛所充滿

We can only provide the most
optimal spiritual counseling if Christ
lives in us. Hence, counselors must
be filled with the word of God,
the Spirit of God, and the love of
God. Persevering in the journey
of counseling will be difficult if we
are not filled with the love of God.
Conversely, if we are filled with God’s
love, which is stronger than death,
we will be able to continue loving
and helping our brethren.

假如神同在，我們就能在屬靈裡，提供最好的輔導。
所以，輔導者就必需充滿神的話，神的靈和神的愛。
如果沒有神的愛充滿其中，在輔導的過程中，要堅持下去就很困難。
相反地，如果充滿神的愛，愛能勝過死亡，我們就能持續不斷地疼愛弟兄姐妹，幫助他們。

The Necessity of Godly Love

一定要有主的愛

Though I speak with the tongues
of men and of angels, but have
not love, I have become sounding
brass or a clanging cymbal. And
though I have the gift of prophecy,
and understand all mysteries and
all knowledge, and though I have
all faith, so that I could remove
mountains, but have not love, I am
nothing. (1 Cor 13:1–2)

1 我若能說萬人的方言，並天使的話語，卻沒有愛，我就成了鳴的鑼、響的鈸一般。 
2 我若有先知講道之能，也明白各樣的奧祕、各樣的知識，而且有全備的信叫我能夠移山，卻沒有愛，我就算不得什麼。
(林前 13：1-2)

In 1 Corinthians, Paul gives us
a good overview of what being a
counselor entails. He reminds us
of the necessity for counselors to
have love. A counselor may speak
with the eloquence of men and of
angels but if he does not have love,
he becomes nothing but a sounding
brass or a clanging cymbal, unable
to bring true spiritual edification to
his counselees. Hence, even though
we may desire to speak like angels,
it is more important to have true
love to fuel us as we speak to others.
Furthermore, as counselors, we want
to be both full of knowledge, and
filled with faith. However, even if we
had the type of faith that can move
mountains, yet fundamentally lack
love, we actually have nothing at all.

在哥林多前書中，保羅大約描述了身為輔導別人的長執，需要具備什麼美德。
他提醒我們，若身為輔導別人的角色時，一定要有愛。
輔導者若能說萬人的方言，並天使的話語，卻沒有愛，
就成了鳴的鑼、響的鈸一般，不能真正給弟兄姐妹在靈裡有所造就。
因此，就算能像天使一樣的說話又能怎樣呢，更加重要的是，當我們勸導別人時，我們身上有著真正的愛。
其次，要來幫助和輔導別人的時候，我們會想要又有全備的知識，又充滿信心。
然而就算我們信心很大，可以移山，然而沒有愛作為出發點，就一點都沒有用。

brass n. 鑼；銅管樂器
cymbal n. 鈸

In contrast, we may have seen
brothers and sisters who know
nothing about formal counseling
techniques encouraging one another.
Although these brethren may not
speak with the tongues of angels,
they are able to motivate others
because of their sincere and godly
love. For this reason, and in order
to perpetuate godly love within the
church, those who desire to be good
counselors must truly manifest the
love of God.

相反地，可能我們也看過，弟兄姐妹沒有學過專業正式輔導別人的技巧，卻會互相支持鼓勵。
雖然他們沒有講論天使的話語，卻可以因為他們的真誠和心中神的大愛表現出來，而感動別人。
也正因為這樣，在教會中要時常讓神的愛存在，你如果想要好好輔導別人，一定要真實地傳遞神的愛。

perpetuate vt. 使永久存在

Personal Sacrifice Possible Because of Love

因著愛可以犧牲自我

And though I bestow all my goods
to feed the poor, and though I give
my body to be burned, but have not
love, it profits me nothing. (1 Cor
13:3)

我若將所有的賙濟窮人，又捨己身叫人焚燒，卻沒有愛，仍然於我無益
(林前 13：3)

Counseling work can be
challenging. There will be times
when we feel as if we have given
our bodies to be burnt as spiritual
sacrifices. However, love enables us
to make—and continue to make—
personal sacrifices.

輔導別人的工作是很具有挑戰性的。
很多時候會感覺，我們就好像屬靈的燔祭，要在祭壇獻上自已的全身。
然而，有愛的力量，我們就可以做得到，並且一直持續不斷的犧牲奉獻自我。

For example, being a good
counselor requires us to provide
an ever ready ear for our brethren.
But playing this role can be both
tiring and demanding. Sometimes,
counselees may call us and ask to
talk when we are in the middle of
something. Or they may need to
speak on the phone for a long time to
work through their problems. Unlike
career counselors, we cannot tell our
brethren to “call back during office
hours” or “make an appointment”!
So if we did not have love, we would
simply not answer the phone.

舉例來說，身為一個好的輔導者，需要永遠傾聽弟兄姐妹的發言。
但這個工作卻總是吃力又不討好。
當我們正在忙時，信徒正好打電話來，要求要談談。
或者他們的問題，需要透過電話花一些時間，才能好好的解決問題。
對弟兄姐妹時，無法像一般諮詢一樣，我們不能對他們說，請上班時段再來電，或者請您事先預約。
所以如果沒有愛，我們跟本就不會跑去接電話。

[W]e ought to recognize that it is God’s compassion that motivates
us; and the love of God which gives us the opportunity to grow.
Hence, that particular counseling session that we are involved
in is in fact an opportunity for us to manifest the very love that
God has shown us and, in turn, shower it upon our counselees.

所以就應該要認識到，是神的憐憫感動了我們；神的愛讓我們有機會成長。
因此，輔導別人的時候，事實上是一個機會，我們因為先接受了神的愛，所以我們要再一次把神的愛傳遞給有需要接受輔導的人。

However, if we are compelled by
the love of God to understand that
the counselee is calling us because he
or she is in great distress and needs
someone to talk to, we would answer
that call even though we did not
know how long that conversation
might last. We can do this because we
want to emulate our Lord Jesus who
had such a punishing work schedule
but was moved with compassion to
help those in clear physical distress
and who cried out for His help.

不過，若我們被神的愛深深的感動，也能體會弟兄姐妹打電話給我們，是因為他們正處在極大的痛苦之中，需要有人來好好的討論一下，
即使我們事先也不知道要需要花多少時間，來接這通電話，我們也會好好的回應他們。
能這麼作，是因為我們要效法主耶穌，他雖然自已本身承受了極其艱難嚴苛的工作，還是大發憐憫去幫忙那些肉體受苦，大聲向祂呼救的人

emulate vt. 模仿

Paul makes a very strong, yet true proclamation:

保羅不但非常強調，而且也實實在在的表明出來

Love bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all
things. Love never fails….
(1 Cor 13:7–8a)

凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。 愛是永不止息。
(林前 13：7-8)

Indeed, a person who is filled with
love is able to bear all things through
love. A counselor with such love is
able to believe all things, hope all
things, and endure all things. This
love that comes from Christ never
fails and enables us to make personal
sacrifices. Hence, if we want to
be counselors who can help our
brothers and sisters, it is imperative
for us to be filled with Christ’s love.

是的，有愛的人，就會用愛來包容一切。
充滿愛的輔導者，就能凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。
這樣來自基督的愛就能永不止息，自已也會願意多多付出。
因此，若我們願意成為幫助弟兄姐妹的輔導者，一定要先充滿基督的愛。

Love Will Cause Growth

愛能使人成長

But, speaking the truth in love,
may grow up in all things into Him
who is the head — Christ — from
whom the whole body, joined and
knit together by what every joint
supplies, according to the effective
working by which every part does
its share, causes growth of the body
for the edifying of itself in love.
(Eph 4:15–16)

15 唯用愛心說誠實話，凡事長進，連於元首基督。 
16 全身都靠他聯絡得合式，百節各按各職，照著各體的功用彼此相助，便叫身體漸漸增長，在愛中建立自己。
(弗 4：15-16)

The power of love is captured in
the verse above. Essentially, love
causes growth. We counselors must
speak the truth with love to enable
the brethren to experience growth.
However, we must also be aware that
it is important to help our counselees
mature in Christ. It is crucial then, to
make a distinction between secular
and spiritual growth.

愛的力量都包含在上面的經節裡。
本質上來說，愛會幫助人成長。
輔導者本身一定要用愛說誠實話，讓弟兄姐妹因為體會到愛而成長。
然而，我們也必需要體認到，
幫助接受輔導的信徒，能在基督裡變得更加成熟，是重要的。
若能分別出，屬世的成長和屬靈的成長有所不同，也相當重要。

The counselor’s role is to facilitate
spiritual growth in the brethren
according to God’s will. For
instance, it would be much easier
for the counselor to just provide a
sympathetic ear and politely agree
with the counselee’s view of his or
her situation. But that may not be
the best way to help this counselee,
especially if the latter has many
erroneous or negative thoughts.

輔導者的角色是，為了依靠神的旨意，幫助弟兄姐妹在靈裡也能成長。
例如，若輔導者只是帶著此許的同情去傾聽，並且只有禮貌上呼應信徒目前所遇到的事情所導致的看法，就好像非常簡單。
但是，特別是當信徒有許多錯誤和負面的想法時，這並不是以最好的方式去幫助他們。

facilitate vt. 促進；幫助

We thus need the wisdom and love
from above to be able to speak the
truth and edify (cf. Prov 25:11). We
must be especially careful not to lead
them to grow in their pride, selfishness,
or anger, as these negative emotions
do not edify and are displeasing to
God. What a counselor should aim
for is godly growth in biblical virtues,
according to the fruit of the Spirit (cf.
Gal 5:22–23).

因此，我們需要有從上頭來的智慧和神的愛，才能憑著真理說話，造就人。(箴 25：11)
我們必須特別小心，不要引領他們變得驕傲，自私，憤怒，因為這些負面的情緒並不會造就人，而神也不高興。
一個教會裡的輔導者所該有的目標，就是能在神的事上有所成長，能依據聖靈所結的果子培養出聖經上的美德。

Ultimately, when Christians are
filled with God’s love, it is a win-win
situation for the counselor and the
counselee, as Paul declares. Everyone
will grow up in all things into Him
who is the head. This means that
the whole body—the church—will
be joined and knit together, bringing
edification to both the counselee and
the counselor; and the church as a
whole community will be built up to
the glory of God.

最後，就像保羅所說的，當所有信徒都被神的愛所充滿時，不論是輔導別人的長執或是接受輔導的信徒，都是雙贏的情況。
每個人都能在各樣的事上有所長成，連結於教會的頭 - 耶穌。
這代表了，整個身體 - 神的教會 - 會連結在一起，並且對雙方都有造就；
教會就會成為一個整體，被建立起來，成為神的榮耀。

God’s Love Will Cover a Multitude of Sins

愛能遮掩許多的罪

And above all things have fervent
love for one another, for “love will
cover a multitude of sins.” (1 Pet
4:8)

最要緊的是彼此切實相愛，因為愛能遮掩許多的罪。
(彼前 4：8)

In a practical sense, counselors
with fervent love for their brethren
will find that God’s love works both
ways. There will be moments in a
counselor’s work where we are faced
with situations of conflict or personal
struggle. A true understanding of
God’s love will enable us to safely
navigate through these conflicts.

以實務面來說，輔導者表現出對弟兄姐妹的切實相愛，雙方就能發覺都有助益。
很多時候，要輔導別人，就需要面對許多衝突的情況，以及自已內心的掙扎。
然而真正明白了神的大愛，會讓我們安然地渡過這一切。

Firstly, godly love does not mean
condoning sin. It would be a mistake
if we knew of a brother or sister who
has committed sin but did not make
an effort to point out their error and
chastise them. It would be wrong
to tell a brother or sister who has
committed sin, “It doesn’t matter.
Don’t worry. God loves you and I
love you too. Don’t worry about it.”
This is not the correct manifestation
of godly love. Instead, godly love
demands that the counselor be
courageous and point out the error
with the pure love of God.

首先，神的愛不代表要繞恕一切的罪。
假如我們知道，某個弟兄姐妹犯了罪，但卻沒有試著去指出其錯誤，並且責備他們，這就不對了。
若是對犯了罪的弟兄姐妹這麼說，"這沒關係啦，不要擔心喔，神愛你，我也很愛你呦，不要再憂愁了。"這種的方式是不對的。
這並不是正確展現出神愛我們的方式。
反而，神的愛要輔導別人的長執試著剛強壯膽，用神純全無瑕的大愛來指明他們的過錯。

condone vt. 寬恕；赦免
chastise vt. 申斥，責罵

Secondly, godly love does not mean
condescension. Counselors with
godly love do not put themselves
on a pedestal. We must not think
of ourselves as people without
weaknesses; we should never
counsel others with a judgmental and
merciless attitude. In fact, God gives
us counseling opportunities so that
we can reflect on ourselves and our
own weaknesses and realize first of
all that God has been gracious to us.

第二點，神的愛並不是傲慢的態度。
以神的愛來輔導別人，就不會是搞個人祟拜。
我們不該認為自已沒有弱點；也不該用審判和無情的態度來輔導別人。
事實上，神藉著這個輔導的機會，也讓我們反省自已的行為和弱點，並要認識到是神已經先施恩給我們的。

condescension n. 高傲態度
pedestal n. 顯要地位

In particular, we ought to recognize
that it is God’s compassion that
motivates us; and the love of God
which gives us the opportunity
to grow. Hence, that particular
counseling session that we are
involved in is in fact an opportunity
for us to manifest the very love that
God has shown us and, in turn,
shower it upon our counselees. With
such a mindset, we will always be
careful not to judge our brethren
harshly. This is the kind of love that
Peter talked about, a love that would
cover a multitude of sins, both for the
counselor and the counselee.

尤其應該要認識到，是神的憐憫感動了我們；神的愛讓我們有機會成長。
因此，輔導別人的時候，事實上是一個機會，我們因為接受了神的愛，所以我們要再一次把神的愛傳遞給有需要接受輔導的人。
有了這種想法之後，我們才會小心，不會太過嚴厲地評判弟兄姐妹。
這就是聖徒彼得所說的，愛能遮掩許多的罪, 對進行輔導的雙方都有幫助。

The Love of God Gives Us Strength to Continue

神的愛給我們力量一直作下去

God will surely give counselors the
strength and power to continue
their ministry, because love bears all
things, believes all things, hopes all
things, and endures all things (1 Cor
13:7).

神一定會讓輔導者有力量和能力來繼續事奉，因為愛是凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。
(林前 13：7)

If we consider the prophets in
the Bible, we will notice that these
workers of God could unremittingly
persevere in doing the work of God
because God’s love motivated them.
There was Moses who loved his
brethren so deeply he could not bear
the thought of them being forbidden
to enter the Promised Land. His love
enabled him to successfully lead
Israel to Canaan despite an arduous
forty-year journey. Then there was
Nehemiah who was able to lift up
the hearts of the chosen people,
encouraging them, and stirring them
up to rebuild the walls of their beloved
city Jerusalem. He was unflagging in
his encouragement even though it
took a long fifty-two days before his
effort bore fruit.

假如看看聖經裡的眾先知，我們會注意到，因為神愛的感動，這些工人會不屈不撓的堅持下去，直到完成神的工作，
例如摩西，也是非常深愛他的眾兄弟以色列人，因而無法承受他們被神禁止進入應許之地。
他的愛，讓他成功引領以色列人到了迦南地，雖然其中經過了漫長又艱鉅四十年的旅程。
尼希米先知能激起選民的心，鼓舞並鼓勵他們重建一直在他們心中的蒙愛之城，耶路撒冷的城牆。
他一直不斷的給予他們鼓勵，即使這也要經過漫長的52天，才能顯出一此效果。

arduous a. 艱鉅的

AN INDISPENSABLE VIRTUE

不可缺少的美德

In conclusion, godly love is an
indispensable virtue for counselors
because it can motivate us in many
ways. Love fuels us to continue our
counseling work, even when times
are trying and the work is tiring.
Love is necessary because without it,
we would not be able to serve God
sincerely, much less for long. Love is
important because it enables growth
in our brothers and sisters and will
cover a multitude of sins. Being a
good Christian counselor, therefore,
requires us to have the image and
likeness of Christ and to manifest His
godly love that is cultivated through a
close relationship with God.

總之，神的愛是成為輔導信徒，教會所有長執所不可或缺的美德，因為需要靠著神的愛在各方面感動我們。
即使在艱難的時候，雖然工作很累人，但是愛能加添我們力量，讓我們可以繼續輔導幫助別人的工作，，
一定要有神的愛，因為沒有愛，就沒有辨法真心誠意的服事神，更不用說是還要長久的繼續服事神的工作。
愛很重要，它可以在每個弟兄姐妹的心中成長，並能遮掩許多的罪過。
要成為教會裡好的輔導者，我們就要有基督的樣子和形狀，並且透過緊密的與主聯合，來展現出神的愛。

If we consider the prophets in the Bible, we will notice that
these workers of God could unremittingly persevere in doing
the work of God because God’s love motivated them.

假如看看聖經裡的眾先知，我們會注意到，因為神愛的感動，這些工人會不屈不撓的堅持下去，直到完成神的工作。

Next on: BE ABLE TO BUILD RELATIONSHIPS.

下一回：可以建立連繫

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