Manna issue 72 - My Journey Within A Journey: From Fear and Doubt to Faith and Trust 我的旅程中的信仰體驗：從恐懼，疑惑，到信心和信靠
A sister accepts God’s calling by faith. 姐妹因信接受神的呼召
Wai Leng Loke—Cheras, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
馬來西亞吉隆坡蕉賴教會 - Wai Leng Loke
I have often heard of the church’s
missionary trips to India. While I
admired the courage and zeal of
those who served in the ministry, I
never expected to step foot on this
sub-continent of South Asia.
我常常聽說，教會在印度有派人去傳福音。
當我時常欽佩那些有勇氣和熱心的人，在傳福音的事上服事主，
我從來沒有想過，我自已的腳會踏上這塊南亞的次大陸。
One day, when I received an
invitation out of the blue to assist in
the religious education work in India,
I was overjoyed. As I listened to the
coordinator of this ministry describing
how I could help, my heart raced with
excitement. But I could not shake off
a nagging sense of inadequacy when
I thought of my limitations and lack
of knowledge and experience. I was
worried that I could not adapt to the
living conditions there. Moreover,
memories of lurid reports of serious
crimes in India during that period
crowded my mind, dampening my
initial enthusiasm. Indeed, beyond
this missionary journey, I would
have to undertake my own personal
journey of faith.
有一天，很意外的是，我收到一封邀請函，請我去幫忙印度地區宗教教育的工作，我知道之後，就異常的開心。
當我聽到這次福音事工協辨人說，我能怎麼去幫他們，我內心其實是充滿興奮。
但是我卻不能甩掉一種不斷襲上心頭的不適任感，就是當我想到自已的這麼的有限，並且也缺乏知識和經驗。
我很擔心自已不能適應那裡的生活環境。
更進一步來說，印度過去各種讓人擔憂的犯罪記憶傳聞，在那個時候，不斷充斥在我的心中，消減了我一開始起初的熱心。
是的，在這次的福音事工旅程之外，我必將要經歷我自已信心的旅程。
MILESTONE 1. ENTRUSTING TO GOD 第一階段：交託神
The first and most immediate bridge
that I had to cross was parental
consent. Not surprisingly, my parents
were very anxious when they learned
of my intention to go on this trip.
My father mentioned the recent
spate of crimes in India reported in
the newspapers, hoping that these
would deter me. As the days passed,
the continuing accounts of the crimes
on India were steadily eroding my
resolve to join the missionary work.
On top of this, I began to worry about
my assigned tasks, as I did not know
where to start with my preparation
work. It was getting all so stressful
that I harbored a secret hope that
the trip would be canceled. Thus did
I struggle for a few weeks, worrying
and yet not willing to let go of this
wonderful opportunity. Finally, a few
brethren and I decided to pray about
this matter.
第一個，也是立刻馬上要跨越的關口，就是要得到雙親的同意。
毫不另人意外的是，我的父母一聽到我想要去參加這個行程，他們就變得很煩惱。
爸爸提到最近在新聞中，有看到印度有一大票的犯罪行為，希望這樣可以讓我打消念頭。
隨著日子逐漸接近，接下來印度不斷發生犯罪新聞報導，持續侵著我本來想要參加這次福音事工的決心。
這其中最讓我擔心的是，我變得很擔心自已所被指派的任務，因為我跟本不知道，要從那裡準備起我所要從事的工作。
這件事情的壓力，變得越來越大，讓我心中隱隱昇起了一股，希望這次旅程可以取消的希望。
因為這樣，我也掙扎了好幾個禮拜，一直煩惱，然而卻不願意去放棄這麼美好的機會。
最後，一些弟兄姐妹和我決定為了這件事一起禱告。
One evening after service, I shared
my foremost worry—my safety—
with a preacher. Immediately, he
assured me: “Just go. Jesus will take
care of you. He will take care of all His
servants. Just go. And go with faith.”
Suddenly, I felt as if God Himself had
said these words to me, with His full
authority and reassurance. Joy and
faith in God filled me (Jn 14:1).
有一天晚上聚完會之後，我把自已最擔心的事情說了出來，和教會的傳道一起討論，就是我在當地所會遇到的人身安全問題-
立刻，他就向我保証："只管去。耶穌會保護你。祂會保護所有的僕人。
只管去。憑著信心出發。"
突然間，我感覺到，就像是神祂自已親自向我說這些話，用祂的全能和權力來向我一再保証個人的安全。
心中的喜樂和對神的信心就充滿了我(約 14：1)。
“Lord, I’ll go where You want me to go!”"神呵，無論你叫我往那裡去，我都會遵造你的吩咐而行。"
The next morning, I told my parents
about my decision and asked them
not to worry, assuring them that my
God would definitely take care of His
workers.
隔天早上，我告訴父母我的決定，請他們不用擔心，向他們保証，我的神，一定會保護祂的工人。
MILESTONE 2. DOING MY PART 第二階段：盡本份
I received another call from the
Education Affairs unit of the Indian
Mission Committee confirming
the trip. My co-workers would be
two sisters, one of whom had been
actively participating in missionary
trips to India and Africa for more
than a decade and is still passionately
involved in this area of divine work.
She and another sister were a
tremendous source of help in my
preparation for both my trip and my
assignment.
我接到另外一通來自印度聖工委員會宗教教育系的電話，來向我確認行程。
我的同工是兩位姐妹，其中一位，曾經很活躍的參與到印度和非洲的傳福音旅程，起過十年的經驗，現在依然是很熱心的參與這個區域的聖工。
她和另一位姐妹，對我來說，要準備行程和工作，是很大的幫助。
In addition, I did some research
about the subjects I was to teach
during the trip. I also read up about
the climate and the different cultures
in India, prepared medication, and
sought advice from various ministers
and brethren who had been to India
before.
此外，我作了一些研究，要了解在行程中，我所要教的科目。
我也研讀了一些印度的天氣和不同的文化，準備了一些藥品，向曾經到過印度的其他傳道者和弟兄姐妹，詢問一些建議。
After preparing all that I could and
needed to, a new worry struck me: I
would have to explain and elaborate
on these topics with nothing more
than just occasional glances at my
lecture notes! I was not sure I had
sufficient wisdom and eloquence. In
fact, I felt woefully inadequate. Then
I remembered what God had said to
His servant Moses:
Who has made man’s mouth? (Ex 4:11a)
在盡了一切努力去作我能夠作的準備，也需要去作的準備之後，又有新的擔憂：
我將一定要能作好解釋，並且精心了解這些主題，讓我能夠不需要去頻頻偷看講稿，而能作好演說。
我不確定，我是否有足夠的智慧和口才。
事實上，我感到又擔心，又能力不足。
但是我想起神向祂的僕人摩西所說的話：
誰造人的口呢？(出 4：11a)
REFLECTION 1: TAKE THAT STEP! 反省1：跨出去!
At the Red Sea, Moses only had to stretch out his hand and the LORD parted the
waters so that the children of Israel could cross the sea on dry ground (Ex 14:21,
22). But at the River Jordan, when the Israelites were about to enter the promised
land, God wanted them to cross the river when it was overflowing and when the
current was strongest. God commanded the priests bearing the ark of the LORD
to step into the water and promised that the waters flowing downstream would
be cut off and would stand up as a heap (Jos 3:13–16). Had we been among the
priests, would we have taken that step?
在紅海那裡，摩西只要伸出他的手，神就分開大水，接下來，以色列人就可以走在乾地上，越過大海。(出 14：21)
但是在約旦河的時候，當以色列人快要進去應許之地的時候，神要他們越過河水，那時河水大漲，水流非常兇猛。
神吩咐眾祭司抬著約櫃，踏進水裡，應許向下流的河水會中斷，並且會豎立起來成為一堆大水(書 3：13-16)。
我們會像那群祭司一樣嗎？會踏出那一步走進水裡嗎？
It is easy to pray to God for more faith in Him. But the true test comes when
we have to leave our comfort zone and translate knowledge and belief into action.
It is difficult for us to take the first step because we tend to walk by sight and
not by faith. When we no longer see the familiar and comforting, when we stare
nervously at the strong current and the overflowing waters in front of us and
remember only our limitations, we forget that our God is almighty. We must
remind ourselves that God is in control and that He will help us to accomplish
His will. But we must have the courage to take the first step. Belief and action—
that is true faith.
向神禱告求神給我們有更多的信心，是很容易的。
但是真正的試驗是，當試驗來臨時，我們要走出自已的舒適圈，轉換自已的知識和信仰，成為真正的行動。
要走出這第一步，對我們來說是不容易的，因為我們常常是因為眼睛看到了，才能走出這的步，而不是憑著信心走出去。
當我們看不到以前熟悉和舒適的一切，或是我們看到水流變得非常兇猛，而非常緊張的時候，氾濫的河水在我們面前流過，
那時我們只記得自已的限制，而會忘記，我們的神是全能的。
我要時常提醒自已，神掌管一切，祂會幫助我們完成祂的旨意。
但是我們一定要有勇氣，來踏出第一步。
信心和行動 - 那才是真的信仰。
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. (Prov 3:5, 6)
5你要專心仰賴耶和華，不可倚靠自己的聰明，
6在你一切所行的事上都要認定他，他必指引你的路。(箴 3：5-6)
The Bible provides us with countless reminders of how God makes possible
the impossible —He parted the Red Sea (Ex 14:21); Jesus gave the blind sight
(Mk 10:46–52), walked on water (Mt 14:25), calmed the wind and the waves (Lk
8:22–25); He even raised the dead to life (Jn 11:38–44). What else is there that
our Lord cannot do for us?
聖經給我們許多無數的提醒，提醒我們神是如何能夠把不可能的情，變成可能的事情 - 祂分開紅海 (出 14：21)；
耶穌讓瞎眼的能看見 (可 10：46-52)，在水面行走 (太 14：25)，平靜風和海 (加 8：22-25)；
祂甚至讓死人復活 (約 11：38-44)。
有什麼事情是我們的神所不能為我們作的呢？
For me personally, what I needed to do was to take my eyes off the overflowing
waters of my worries, and take that first step of entrusting the whole trip and
divine work into His mighty hands
對我自已來說，我需要把我自已的眼睛移開，不再只看那些像兇猛河水的世上憂慮，展開第一步，把自已的整個旅程和聖工，交話在他大能的手中。
Once again, I consciously turned
my eyes upon Jesus. I resolved to
pray and ask for God’s full guidance
to enable me to speak fluently and to
serve according to His will.
再一次，我繼續把我的眼睛看向耶穌。
我決定要專心禱告，求神全部的指引，讓我能夠跟據祂美好的旨意，很流利的上課服事祂。
My co-workers and I met at Kuala
Lumpur International Airport on
May 15, 2013 to embark on our
journey to India. I usually dread
flying but somehow this flight was
different. As our plane shot up into
the light blue sky, I thought about
the greatness and the almightiness
of God, the Creator of the heavens
and the earth and everything in it. My
usual fear was replaced by a sense
of serenity, an absolute conviction
that everything would be well in His
mighty hands. Before long, we were
at Chennai, India, walking out to the
welcoming smiles of the local deacon
and preachers.
我的同工和我在吉隆坡國際機場一起相遇，那天是2013年五月15日，我們坐上飛機一起出發去印度。
我通常很害怕坐飛機，但是不知道為什麼，這次飛行旅程是特別不一樣。
當我們的班機衝向淡藍的天空時，我只想到神的偉大和全能，諸天，諸地和其中所有一切的創造者。
以前的恐懼感變成一種寧靜安穩的感覺，完完全全的相信，在祂大能的手裡，任何事情都會變好。
不久之後，我們就到達印度的清奈，走出機場，走向前面笑臉迎人的當地教會執事和傳道。
MILESTONE 3. SEEING AND EXPERIENCING THE WONDERFUL WORK OF GOD
第三階段：親眼看見，並且體驗到神的奇妙作為
During my two-week stay in India,
I truly experienced God’s working;
with God, nothing is impossible (Lk
1:37).
在印度停留的二個禮拜裡，我真的感受到神的工作；
因為，出於神的話，沒有一句不帶能力的。(路 1：37)
It was summer and very hot. In the
sweltering heat of the day, I was often
bathed in perspiration. Even when I
was comfortably lying in bed at night
with the ceiling fan at full blast, my
clothes would be soaked. But the heat
did not hinder my work at all. And
amazingly, none of us suffered from
heat stroke, serious dehydration, or
diarrhea, not even after accidentally
having a cold drink sold by a roadside
vendor! 1
那個時候是夏天，天氣非常的熱。
白天的悶熱，我經常是全身汗水淋漓。
即使是晚上的時候，雖然我很舒服的躺在床上，天花板上的電風扇正在全力的送風，我的衣服仍然是溼透了。
但是這種熱力並沒有影響我的工作。
並且，讓人很驚奇的是，我們都沒有中暑，或是嚴重的腹瀉，甚至不小心喝了一杯路邊攤的涼水，也沒有問題。
Then on another day, a preacher
informed us that a week before, a
major typhoon was heading towards
the area we were in. Surprisingly, the
wind had suddenly changed course
and headed towards the opposite
direction instead. Had it not been
for the grace and protection of our
merciful God, our church and training
center in Ambattur, Chennai would
have been affected by the typhoon
and the rest of our trip might then
have had to be canceled.
另外有一天，傳道一周前就通知我們，有一個大颱風正朝著我們這個區域移動過來。
另人意料之外的是，颱風忽然改變路徑，並且朝著相反的方向前進。
若不是我們慈愛真神的恩典和保護，我們在清奈安巴都的教會和學生訓練中心，將會受到颱風的影響，
我們其他的旅程，或者會被迫要取消。
God’s abidance when we
commenced our work was also
manifested. When I began my classes,
I discovered that my earlier fears were
completely unfounded. Words flowed
spontaneously, and I was able to
lecture smoothly. I was once worried
I would not have enough examples
to share. The reality was I ran out of
time! Thank God for His guidance.
當我們開始工作，神就同在就被顯明出來。
當我開始課程，我發現之前的恐懼，完全消失了。
我自然而然就能詞語非常的流暢，完全可以順利的講課。
我曾經很擔憂，我可能沒有很多的案例可以作為上課分享之用。
事實上，我上課上到超過了時間。
感謝神的帶領！
MILESTONE 4. ENJOYING THE UNITY IN CHRIST 第四階段：同享主內合一
One in Ministry 同心合一作聖工
As we served together, my coworkers
and I saw that God indeed
had His own good will in all that He
had arranged for us. We could see
that He had put us together as coworkers
because we complemented
each other in terms of knowledge,
skills, and even in our way of thinking
and physical strength! Praise the
Lord!
當我們一起事奉，我們可以看見，神真的在所有的事上，有祂美好的旨意，祂已經為我們作了美好的安排。
我們可以看見，他把我們安排在一起，一起同工，因為我們不論是在知識，技能，或甚至在思考方面，以及肉體的力量上可以互相支援。
感謝主！
1 Travel advisories to India generally caution against
consumption of food and drinks from roadside vendors
because of the high probability of food contamination.
印度旅遊警告，通常提醒要小心路邊攤販的食物或飲料，因為這些食品有很高的機會受到細菌的感染。
It is easy to pray to God for more faith in Him. But the true test
comes when we have to leave our comfort zone and translate
knowledge and belief into action.
向神禱告求神給我們有更多的信心，是很容易的。
但是真正的試驗是，當試驗來臨時，我們要走出自已的舒適圈，轉換自已的知識和信仰，成為真正的行動。
REFLECTION 2: TAKE THAT STEP!反省2：走出去!
Deep down inside most of us, there have been times when we wanted to do
something for the Lord. However, before we even begin, we are bogged down with
a long list of negative thoughts. These often so overwhelm us that we surrender to
our pessimism, and we give up without even trying. Yet, have we considered that
God’s work is accomplished through His power and not our own limited wisdom
or strength?
在我們的內心深處，有幾次時間，當我們想要為主作些什麼事。
然而，在我們開始之前，就因為一長串的負面想法，致使我們陷入泥沼之中，無法成事。
這些情況常是另人難以克服，導致我們會向自已的消極想法作妥協，我們甚至沒有試著作看看，就輕言放棄。
然後，我們有想過，要靠神的力量來完成神的工作嗎？而不是只是依靠我們有限的智慧和力量。
So the LORD said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? … Have not I, the LORD?“
“Now therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.”
(Ex 4:11a, 12)
11耶和華對他說：誰造人的口呢？... 豈不是我─耶和華麼？
12現在去罷，我必賜你口才，指教你所當說的話。
(出 4：11a，12)
Once again, we need to return to the exhortations of the apostles. Even the
great apostle Paul was troubled by his weakness. But he shared what the Lord
had said to reassure him, “My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made
perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9a).
再一次，我們需要回到使徒的勸告。
即使是偉大的使徒保羅，也因為他的軟弱而受苦。
但是他分享給我們，神已經向他說話，再次向他保証，
"我的恩典夠你用的，因為我的能力是在人的軟弱上顯得完全。" (林後 12：9a)
And Elder James tells us how to overcome our anxieties: “If any of you lacks
wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it
will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts
is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind” (Jas 1:5, 6).
雅各長老告訴我們，要如何勝過我們的憂愁：
"5你們中間若有缺少智慧的，應當求那厚賜與眾人、也不斥責人的神，主就必賜給他。
6只要憑著信心求，一點不疑惑；因為那疑惑的人，就像海中的波浪，被風吹動翻騰。"
(雅 1：5，6)
For … we have many members in
one body, but all the members do not
have the same function. (Rom 12:4)
4正如我們一個身子上有好些肢體，肢體也不都是一樣的用處。
(羅 12：4)
One Family 主內一家
Not only did I enjoy the blessing of
serving together with my brethren, I
was truly touched by their warmth—
people whom I had never met before,
but whose love transcended race,
culture, and geographical boundaries
because God first loved us.
我們不只享受著一起和弟兄姐妹事奉的祝福，我真的因為他們的愛心的溫暖深深受感動 -
這些人是我以前從來沒有遇過的，但是他們的愛超越種族，文化，和地理上的邊界，
因為神先愛我們了。
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also
ought to love one another. (1 Jn
4:11)
11親愛的弟兄阿，神既是這樣愛我們，我們也當彼此相愛。
(約壹 4：11)
There was never a time that we went
hungry! The two weeks whizzed by
because these brethren had truly
provided us with a home away from
home.
我們從來沒有任何時候，會遇到飢餓。
二個星期的時候，咻的一聲很快就過去了，因為這些弟兄姐妹真的給我們在原本的家之外，又建立了一個家。
I truly thank God for His love
that was manifested through His
servants. Besides the local members,
our brethren back home had been
incessantly interceding for us, and my
co-workers provided loving support
in both word and deed (1 Jn 3:18).
Their examples have taught me to
also show sincere care and concern
towards others.
因為神的愛，我真的深深的感謝神，因為有他的僕人，展現了祂的慈愛。
除了當地教會的信徒之外，我們原本教會的弟兄姐妹，也不斷的為我們代禱，而我的同工也能在言語和行為上，給予愛的幫助。(約壹 3：18)
他們的模範，已經教會了我，也要對別人能夠有真誠的關懷和關心。
CONCLUSION 結論
The whole course ran smoothly.
Thank God for His great love, grace,
and protection throughout our two week
stay in India. Words will not
suffice to describe my gratitude for
the wonderful opportunity to work
together with good co-workers,
to be able to serve our brethren in
India, and to witness for myself the
wonderful works of God.
整個課程都過的很順利。
感謝神的大愛，恩典和保護，讓我們這兩個禮拜在印度都能很平安。
言語是無法表達我現在內心的感激，因為有這麼奇妙的機會和好同工一樣來為主工作，一起來服事我們在印度的弟兄姐妹，
也讓我自已親自來見証神奇妙的工作。
I was asked to teach but by God’s
wonderful mercy, this missionary trip
taught me many precious lessons.
Not only did I learn to acknowledge my
own weaknesses and shortcomings,
“for when I am weak, then I am
strong” (2 Cor 12:10), but I also
realized that even in my weakness,
I can still do more for God through
Christ who strengthens me—both
physically and spiritually (Phil 4:13).
我受邀來教導學生，但是因為神奇妙的慈愛，這次的福音之旅，教了我許多寶貴的課程。
我不只是學會去承認自已的軟弱和缺點，"因我甚麼時候軟弱，甚麼時候就剛強了。"(林後 12：10)
但我也了解到，即使我有自已的軟弱，我仍然可以為主作許多的事，因為有基督會加添我力量-不論是肉體或靈性上，祂都會幫助我。
(腓 4：13)
I learned to cast all my cares upon
our heavenly Father through constant
prayers (1 Pet 5:7), to put my fears
behind, and to trust in God. I also
learned to trust in His arrangement
and providence, for He sees all our
needs and He works in ways we
cannot see. If I had set my eyes only
on the strong currents and had not
taken the first step to accept God’s
calling, I would not have witnessed
how God works through His servants.
He strengthened my faith in Him and
cleared my doubts. I am now eagerly
looking forward to my next calling.
All praise and glory be to our Lord
Jesus. Amen.
透過不斷的禱告，我學會要把一切的憂慮交託給天父(彼前 5：7)，把恐懼放在後面，然後專心信靠神。
我也學會要對神的安排和計劃有信心，因為祂看見我們的需要，祂透過各種我們看不到的方式來幫我們。
假如我只把肉眼放在眼前的大風大浪，而沒有走出去，來接受神的呼召，我就不會見識到，神是如何透過祂的僕人來作工。
祂加添我對祂的信心，清除我的疑慮。
現在我很渴望能夠接到下一次的呼召。
願一切的讚美，榮耀都歸於我們的主耶穌。
阿們。
True Jesus Church Chengalput, India
印度 Chengalput 真耶穌教會
小頁 markvmax@hotmail.com
歡迎主內同靈來信加入英翻中的事工
目前英文嗎哪雜誌為二個月出版一刊
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Manna 嗎哪 56 (1)