10. Manna issue 63 - With Every Break Comes Another Wave 每次突破都會帶來另一波浪潮
Andy Wang—Irvine, California, USA 美國加州
On the Sundays that I am free,
I like to take my board out to the Pacific Ocean for an enjoyable surf session.
Although I am still a beginner,
it is an invigorating activity
that allows me to get away from the hustle and bustle of life.
在我有空的星期日，
我喜歡帶著自已的衝浪板，去太平洋享受一次愉快的衝浪之旅。
雖然我還是個初學者，
這是一項令人振奮的活動
這讓我能夠遠離日常生活的喧囂。
During one of my first surf sessions,
I remember walking toward the ocean
and watching the waves come in from the horizon toward the shore.
The waves looked small,
but they were actually taller than they appeared to be.
Putting my board onto the water beside me,
I trudged through the waves
until the water level went from knee-deep to waist-deep.
What was out there?
I did not know just yet.
I slowly entered into unknown waters with an innate curiosity
as to what the great big blue would offer.
我第一次衝浪時，
我記得走向大海，
看著波浪從地平線湧向海岸。
波浪看起來很小，
但他們實際上比看起來更高。
把我的衝浪板放在自已身旁的水面上，
我在波濤起伏中艱難前行，
直到水位從及膝部深度到及腰部深度。
外面還有什麼呢？
我還不知道。
我懷著與生俱來的好奇心，慢慢進入那未知的水域，
想知道那偉大的藍色波浪會帶來什麼事物。
When I look back on the past few years of my life,
I can say that my journey through business school was a lot like learning to surf.
Although challenging,
I was able to rise and stand triumphantly with God at my side.
當我回顧過去幾年的生活時，
我可以說，自已商學院的學習歷程，很像學習衝浪。
雖然充滿挑戰，
我能夠站起來，並勝利的站立，因為神在我身邊。
PLUNGING IN 貿然投入
Since my undergraduate years,
it had been a goal of mine
to pursue a Master of Business Administration (MBA) degree
in order to expand my skill set and achieve a management position in the future.
In April 2007, I began my part-time MBA program at the University of California, Irvine.
At the time, I was also working full-time
as an electrical engineer at a major aerospace company in southern California.
從我大學那幾年開始，
這就是我的目標，
要攻讀工商管理碩士學位（MBA），
為了擴展自已的技能，並在未來能獲得管理職位。
2007 年 4 月，我在加州大學爾灣分校，開始在職 MBA 課程。
當時我也有全職工作，
是在南加州一家大型航空航太公司的電子工程師。
I was fortunate enough to work for an employer
that offered a full tuition reimbursement program,
as long as I continued to work while I studied.
I was not sure what I was getting myself into,
but it did not seem like it was going to be so bad.
Little did I know that I was in for a daunting challenge.
我很幸運能夠有雇主來工作，
他們提供全額學費回報計劃，
只要我在學習的同時繼續工作。
我不確定，自己陷入了什麼境地，
但情況看起來似乎沒有那麼糟。
我幾乎是不知道，自已面臨著一項艱鉅可怕的挑戰。
For the first few quarters,
I had to adapt to being in school again.
A typical day started at 5:35 am and was followed by working for eight hours,
rushing from work to school to slave away on school assignments,
and then attending class from 7 to 10 pm.
In addition, I had to attend group meetings, work on case studies,
rehearse for group presentations, etc.
It was the toughest schedule I had ever dealt with,
and I felt spread thin.
前幾個學季，
我必須重新適應上學的生活。
典型的一天從早上 5:35 開始，然後工作八個小時，
然後從工作地點趕到學校，非常辛苦的完成學校作業，
然後晚上 7 點到 10 點去上課。
此外，我還必須參加小組討論、進行個案研究、
排練小組報告等等。
這是我所經過最艱難的日程安排，
我覺得自己身體的注意力很分散。
Things started to further accelerate at the end of 2007
when I was elected as the General Affairs council member at my local church.
My basic duties consisted of logistical tasks
such as performing inventory checks, purchasing and replenishing supplies,
and arranging lodging and transportation for out-of-town guests.
2007 年底，事情開始進一步加速，
我被選為本地教會總務委員會成員的時候。
我的基本職責包括了採買任務，
例如，要執行庫存檢查、採購和補充用品，
並且為外地的客人安排住宿和交通。
However, being a board member was quite involved.
Other than the jobs listed above,
I also had to listen to church members’ problems and provide advice.
At this point,
it felt like I was paddling toward deeper waters as things became increasingly hectic.
然而，擔任職務會成員是相當複雜的。
除了上面列出的工作之外，
我還必須傾聽教會信徒的問題，並要提供建議。
在此刻，
隨著事情變得越來越忙碌，我感覺自己正在向更深的水域划去。
WIPING OUT 摧毀
I was juggling three responsibilities:
full-time employee, church council member, and part-time business school student.
Every day, stress constantly followed me wherever I went,
whether at work, school, or church.
At times, it felt like a powerful wave had hit me from behind,
causing me to fall off my board and to swallow an enormous gulp of salt water.
我像雜耍一樣同時要兼顧三樣責任：
全職員工、教會職務會成員和在職商學院學生。
每天，無論走到哪裡，壓力都伴隨著我，
無論是在工作、學校或教會。
有時候，感覺起來就像有一股巨大的波浪從背後襲來，
導致我從衝浪板上摔下去，並且吞下了一大口鹽水。
One time, I had several exams
and case studies due the same week a local church retreat had to be organized.
I identified greatly with the stress
that the prophet Elijah felt as he fled from Jezebel, who wanted to kill him
(1 Kgs 19).
Time always seemed like it was running out.
I also experienced fear and was weak in faith, just like Peter,
when he walked on water
(Mt 14:28-31).
有一次，我參加了幾場考試，
案例研究將於同一周進行，有當地教會必須要舉行靈修會。
我大大感到這種壓力
就像先知以利亞逃離的感受，因為耶洗別想殺他
（王上 19）。
時間似乎總是所剩無幾。
我也像彼得一樣體驗到恐懼，和信心軟弱，
當他在水面上行走的時候
（太 14：28-31）。
I started to think that
the onslaught of stress from three different directions was negatively affecting my faith.
I knew something was wrong
since I did not receive any physical or spiritual rest on Sabbath.
I would go to church and my head would ache.
This was a clear sign that I needed to re-evaluate my life and take action.
我開始認為，
來自三個不同方向壓力的衝擊，對我的信仰產生了負面影響。
我知道出事了，
因為安息日我沒有得到任何身體或屬靈上的休息。
我會去教會，而我會頭痛。
這是一個明顯的跡象，表明我需要重新評估自已的生活，並採取行動。
FINDING MY BALANCE 找出自已的平衡
In May 2008, during one of the church council meetings,
I expressed my difficulty in executing general affairs tasks
due to my stress levels and lack of time.
Although the council had not previously sensed my anxiety,
everyone was very understanding of my struggles.
They advised me to delegate more tasks to other church members,
which reminded me to take the initiative in withstanding oncoming waves
until I could find my balance.
2008 年 5 月，在一次教會職務會議上，
我表達了執行總務任務的困難
由於我的壓力程度和缺乏時間。
雖然議會之前沒有察覺到我的焦慮，
每個人都非常理解我的掙扎。
他們建議我將更多任務交給其他教會信徒，
提醒我要主動抵擋迎面而來的波浪
直到我找到平衡。
I also talked to my church friends, family, and pastors,
which helped a lot as a channel for my emotions.
Confiding in those of the same faith is important
because they can understand and provide comfort and edification
for church- and faith-related issues.
我也與教會朋友、家人和傳道交談，
這成為我情緒疏通的管道，很有幫助。
向有相同信仰的人傾訴很重要
因為他們能夠理解，並且提供安慰和造就，
涉及有關教會和信仰相關的問題。
After that council meeting, I began the healing process.
I discovered that I had taken a lot of matters into my own hands,
thinking it would be easier than involving multiple parties.
However, this actually created more stress
because there was so much that I had to do.
在那次職務會之後，我開始了治療程序。
我發現，自已掌控了很多的事情，
認為這會比涉及多方更容易處理。
然而，這實際上造成了更多的壓力，
因為我有太多事情要做。
Aside from delegating,
I began to work more on my spiritual cultivation
because I realized that it was the root of my problems.
How could I be a proper worker for God
if my faith was not set on a solid foundation?
Previously, I felt quite far from God,
which was very disturbing to me.
Even though I tried to function normally
and show my cheery self on the outside,
I was feeling spiritually down and miserable inside.
I decided that I needed to turn to God’s word and spirit
to build myself up and quench my anxieties.
I knew that what I truly hungered for was His bread to fill me
so that I could gain comfort and strength .…
除了授權之外，
我開始更注重自己的靈修，
因為我意識到，這是我問題的根源。
我怎樣才能成為神合適的工人，
如果我的信仰沒有建立在堅固的基礎上呢？
以前我覺得離神很遠，
這讓我感覺非常的不安。
儘管我嘗試要工作表現正常，
並在外表上展現出開朗的自己，
我感到精神很低落，內心很痛苦。
我決定自已需要轉向神的話語和聖靈，
來增強自我，並且消除焦慮。
我知道若自已真正渴望的是祂的麵包，可以來充滿我，
這樣我才能獲得安慰和力量…
I instituted a weekly lunch fast on Sabbath
to lay all my cares and burdens before the Lord.
My immediate prayer requests were for God’s guidance in all of my endeavors
and that I could carry out my tasks without feeling stressed.
I also asked the Lord to help me improve my time and priority management.
我進行每週安息日午餐禁食，
在主面前，放下一切的憂慮和重擔。
我立刻祈求神帶領我所有的努力付出，
使我可以在沒有壓力的情況下完成任務。
也求主幫助我改善自已的時間和優先事項管理。
At the same time,
I became serious about developing a better habit of regular Bible reading
so I would always be infused with the word of God.
I found new meaning in my favorite verse:
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace
and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope”
(Jer 29:11).
同時，
我開始認真培養更好的定期讀經習慣，
使我時常可以得到神話語的澆灌。
我找到自已最喜歡經文的新意義：
“11耶和華說：我知道我向你們所懷的意念是賜平安的意念，
不是降災禍的意念，要叫你們末後有指望。”
（耶 29：11）。
Over the following few months,
as I overcame each wave another would come,
and it felt like a never-ending battle;
but I started to find hope in God after making changes to my life.
As Psalm 89:9 states,
“You rule the raging of the sea;
When its waves rise, You still them.”
In only about a month’s time, I could sense that God was helping me.
在接下來的幾個月裡，
一旦我克服了一波浪潮時，就有另一波浪潮會襲來，
這感覺就像是一場永無休止的戰鬥；
但是在改變了生活之後，我開始從神找到盼望。
正如詩篇 89：9 所說，
“9你管轄海的狂傲；
波浪翻騰，你就使他平靜了。”
只經過了一個月左右的時間，我就感覺到神在幫助我。
STANDING UP 站起來
Surfing looks easy, but to be able to stand up on your board,
you must be able to find your center of gravity amidst relentlessly pounding waves.
You must paddle until the wave is just about to break
and until the speed of your board matches the speed of the wave.
If you succeed, you are able to push up from your board and stand.
衝浪看似簡單，但是要能夠站在衝浪板上，
你必須能夠在無情起伏衝擊的波浪中，找到自已的重心。
你必須划著衝浪板，直到波浪快要破裂，
直到板子的速度與波浪的速度相當。
如果成功了，您就可以從板上起身，並且站立。
Through uplifting sermons, inspirational words from friends,
and satisfying prayers, I realized that God had chosen me to be His worker for a reason
and that this was a test to see if I could fully rely on Him.
I was only a vessel of God and no better than anyone else.
But the work that I was doing,
however small it was, had its purpose in God’s great plan.
透過令人精神鼓舞的講道、朋友啟發人心的話語，
和令人滿足的禱告，我意識到，神選擇我成為祂的工人是有原因的，
這是一個考驗，看看我是否可以完全依靠祂。
而我只是神的器皿，並不比任何人更好。
但我所做的工作，
無論它有多麼的微小，在神偉大的計劃中都有其目的。
After I started putting the needs of the congregation before my own,
I began to feel joy in doing church work, which I had not previously experienced.
For example, when I was tasked with exploring better lighting solutions for the chapel,
I didn’t see it as a tedious task,
but rather something that would allow the congregation
to enjoy Sabbath in a comfortable and aesthetic setting.
當我開始把會眾的需求, 放在自己的需求之上後，
我開始感受到執行教會聖工的快樂，這是我以前沒有體驗過的。
例如，當我負責為會堂尋找更好的照明解決方案時，
我不認為那是一項乏味的任務，
而是讓會眾能夠，
可以在舒適且美觀的環境中，享受安息日。
I also began to realize that if I put God first,
He would provide.
In Matthew 6:33 it says,
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,
and all these things shall be added to you.”
I found this to be very true.
Even though work and school assignments were important priorities,
I proactively set aside time for God by consistently reading the Bible
and attending more weeknight services.
Once the Sabbath rolled around,
I set aside that day for God and did not worry about school or work,
because I realized that God is the only one to dictate what happens in the end,
despite all our human efforts.
As time went by,
I started noticing better grades in business school and overall smoothness.
我也開始意識到，如果我把神放在第一位，
祂會預備。
馬太福音 6 章 33 節說：
“33你們要先求他的國和他的義，
這些東西都要加給你們了。”
我發現這是非常正確的。
儘管工作和學校作業是重要的優先事項，
我不斷地閱讀聖經，並積極主動為神留出時間，
並且參加更多的夜間聚會。
安息日一到，
我把這一天留給神，而且不擔心學校或工作，
因為我意識到，神是唯一能支配最終發生事情的人，
儘管我們人類付出很多努力。
隨著時間的流逝，
我開始注意到商學院的成績更好了，整體也更順利。
I thank God that my job at the time was manageable,
which gave me time to take care of church matters throughout the day.
God also provided me with a focused, composed mind throughout the rest of my business program.
Time management became more natural to me,
and because my planner was always filled with things I had to do that day,
I was able to keep focused.
I was able to finish assignments weeks ahead of time and obtain decent grades.
I even had time to pursue my hobbies.
感謝神，我當時的工作還算順利，
這讓我有時間可以白天去處理教會的事務。
神也為我預備了專注、冷靜的頭腦，可以完成接下來的商業課程。
時間管理對我來說變得更自然了，
因為我的計畫表總是充滿了自已當天必須做的事情，
我能夠保持專注。
我能夠提前幾週的時間完成作業，並且獲得不錯的成績。
我甚至有時間去追逐自已的嗜好。
LOOKING BACK 回首
In retrospect, I really thank God
that He guided me through that difficult period
and helped me to understand the powerful role of spiritual cultivation.
When I was younger,
my religious education teachers’ universal tag statement
for spiritual growth would be, “Pray and read the Bible.”
It seemed so proverbial to me
because we may often say it as lip service.
However, the statement is not to be underestimated.
Relying on God’s word and spirit can build up whatever we are lacking in life.
Food and drink can satisfy our weak flesh temporarily,
but what can really fill the void within us is spiritual nourishment.
In fact this was the one element
that I had been missing all this time and what would help me solve my problems.
When I improved in the area of spiritual cultivation,
I felt that the word of God was always in my heart to comfort me
even when I felt down and that the Holy Spirit would reassure me to keep my faith.
I received a type of spiritual peace and joy that one cannot find in the world.
回想以前，我真的很感謝神，
祂引導我度過了那段困難的時期
並幫助我了解靈修的強大作用。
當我小的時候，
我的宗教教育老師的通用警告聲明，
為了使靈性成長，就要「禱告並讀經」。
這對我來說似乎很像是諺語而已，
因為我們常常把它當成，只是口頭上的支持而已。
不過，此項聲明卻是不容低估小覷。
依靠神的話語和聖靈，可以建立自已生命中所缺乏的一切。
日用的飲食雖可以暫時滿足我們軟弱的肉體，
但是真正能填補我們內心空虛的，是屬靈的糧食。
事實上，這才是唯一的元素，
是我長久以來一直所缺失的，以及那可以幫助我解決我問題的關鍵事物。
當我靈修方面有所提升的時候，
我感覺到，神的話語一直在心裡安慰我
即使當我感到沮喪時，聖靈也會安慰我保持自已的信心。
我得到了一種世人所找不到的屬靈平安和喜樂。
When I ponder upon my life,
I can say that the events in my life act very much like the pattern of waves.
If I am victorious during one stage and am afforded a break,
another wave will come, bringing the next host of trials.
However, like a seasoned surfer after countless surf sessions at the beach,
a Christian who continually cultivates his spirituality and relies on God
will no longer be daunted by the waves.
當我回顧自己的人生時，
我可以說，我生活中發生的事件，非常像波浪的運作模式。
如果我有一個階段取得了勝利，並且獲得了休息時間，
就會有另一波浪潮將來襲，帶來下一批的考驗。
然而，就像一位經驗豐富的衝浪老手，在海灘進行無數次的衝浪之後，
基督徒只要會一直培養自已的靈性和依靠神，
就不再會被風浪嚇倒。
I can now understand that God had His plan for me in the waves that I faced.
God granted me this valuable experience
so that I could learn to face the waves of life with calmness, composure, and joy.
By harnessing His life-changing word and spirit,
we can truly ride the waves of life and be triumphant.
我現在可以明白，神在我所面臨的波浪中，有祂給我的計劃。
神賜給我這段寶貴的經驗，
讓我學會以鎮定、從容、喜悅地面對生活的波濤。
透過祂改變生命的話語和聖靈，
我們可以真正駕馭生命的波浪，並且取得勝利。
小頁 markvmax@hotmail.com
歡迎主內同靈來信加入翻譯
Manna 嗎哪 56 (1)