1. Manna issue 58 - Sufficient Grace 恩典夠用
Recalling God’s love and guidance during difficult times.
困境時回想起神的慈愛和指引
Paul Chen—Cerritos, California, USA 美國加州喜瑞都
Ever since middle school,
I have always enjoyed going to church and spending time in the chapel.
I had a difficult time during my school years
because academics were very competitive in Taiwan,
and I wasn’t a good student.
But I always found peace and joy at church.
I was able to build up my faith and relationship with God
through the difficult times I experienced.
從中學開始，
我一直很喜歡去教會並在教會裡度過時光。
在我學校期間，我有一段艱難的時期，
因為台灣學術的競爭非常激烈，
而且我並不是一個好學生。
但我總能在教會裡找到平安和喜樂。
我能夠建立自已的信心及與神的關係，
度過自已所遇到困難的時期。
GOD’S WILL TO STUDY ABROAD 神的旨意國外留學
I started to prepare for the university transfer exams
after I completed compulsory military service.
My acquaintances couldn’t believe I wanted to go to university
because they knew how I had barely squeaked by to graduate from high school.
我開始準備大學轉學考，
在我服完義務兵役之後。
我朋友都不敢相信我想去上大學，
因為他們知道我是如何勉強才通過高中畢業的。
I took the exam, but I wasn’t accepted by any of the schools I tested for.
However, I wasn’t discouraged.
I just prayed to God and told Him that my purpose
in going to college was to be able to serve Him better.
我參加了考試，但我並沒有得到任何一所自已去報考的學校所錄取。
然而我並沒有灰心。
我只是向神祈禱，告訴祂我的目標，
去上大學就是為了能夠更好的事奉祂。
One day, I had a conversation with my English teacher from high school
and he told me,
“Don’t worry if you can’t get into a university here.
You can just go to America for university.”
I laughed when he said this
because he, of all people, knew how poor my English was.
有一天，我和高中的英文老師在討論，
他告訴我，
“不用擔心，如果你不能在進一所這裡的大學。
你可以直接去美國讀大學。”
當他這樣說時我就笑了，
因為對所有人而言，他很清楚我的英文有多爛。
But this former teacher told me,
“Just stand up where you fall.”
This is easier said than done, but it encouraged me.
但這位昔日的老師告訴我，
“跌倒了就要站起來。”
這說來容易做來難，但這句話很鼓勵我。
I went to church and I told God,
“If it is Your will for me to go to America to study,
please at least let me be accepted into one school here
so that I can build up my confidence.
When I am accepted, I won’t finish my degree here
but will transfer to study abroad.
I will know that this is Your will
if I just barely manage to get into a university.”
我去教會告訴神，
“如果這是你的旨意讓我去美國讀書，
請至少讓我能給這裡的一所學校錄取，
這樣我就能增強自信。
當我錄取後，我不會在這裡完成自已的學位，
但會轉學去出國留學。
我會知道這是你的旨意，
如果我就只是勉強考上了一所大學。”
I took the university transfer exam a second time
and applied to seventeen universities.
I was put on the waiting list at one of them.
I prayed every day that someone who was accepted would decline
so that I could move up the waiting list and be accepted.
And that is what happened.
我第二次去參加大學轉學考，
並申請了十七所大學。
我上了其中一家的候補名單。
我每天祈禱，希望某個錄取的人會拒絕，
這樣我就能進入候補名單並且得到錄取。
而事情就這麼發生了。
I knew then that it was God’s will for me to study abroad,
and I started filling out the application for a student visa to the US.
As I was doing this, I started to think,
“If I can graduate from college here in Taiwan,
why am I making more trouble for myself by trying to study abroad?”
我當時就知道，出國留學是神的旨意，
我開始填寫去美國學生簽證的申請表。
當我這樣做的時候，我開始思考，
“如果我能在台灣這裡的大學畢業，
我為什麼要出國留學而給自己帶來更多的麻煩呢？”
During my first semester of college,
I failed many of the classes I took,
yet all of the procedures for studying abroad went very smoothly.
This was particularly surprising
because I had applied for permanent residence some years earlier,
and applicants waiting to be approved for permanent residency
didn’t usually receive visas.
在大學的第一個學期，
我沒有通過很多自已所選的課程，
但出國留學的一切流程都辨理的很順利。
這特別令人驚訝，
因為我幾年前就曾申請過永久居留權，
而那些等待獲得永久居留權批准的申請人，
通常都拿不到簽證。
No True Jesus Church 沒有真耶穌教會
I was granted a student visa to the US that year,
and I prepared to move.
But there was still the question of where I would attend university.
那年我就得到了去美國的學生簽證，
我就準備出發。
但我仍然面臨一個問題：我要去就讀哪所大學呢？
When my high school English teacher heard how I had been approved for a visa,
he told me, “God is helping you.”
I felt that God encouraged me through this teacher.
It was through his advice that I chose where to study.
當我的高中英文老師聽說我是如何獲得簽證批准時，
他告訴我：“神正在幫助你。”
我感覺到神透過這位老師來鼓勵我。
正是因為他的建議，我才選擇要去那裡學習的地方。
I ended up at Wichita State University in Kansas,
which was a big change from the climate in Taiwan,
but I soon got used to the cold snowy winters and hot summers.
What I could not get used to was the absence of a True Jesus Church there.
我最終進入堪薩斯州的威奇托州立大學，
那裡對比台灣的氣候有很大的不同，
但我很快就習慣了寒冷多雪的冬季和炎熱的夏天。
而我無法習慣的就是那裡沒有一間真耶穌教會。
I had attended church regularly since I was a child,
and I missed the fellowship and spiritual joy
that comes with worshipping as part of a congregation.
I tried to transfer to other universities
that were near True Jesus Church locations,
but I wasn’t accepted by any of them.
I felt that God wanted me to stay in Kansas.
我從小就常去教會，
我很懷念團契活動和屬靈的喜樂，
那是來自作為會眾一部分進行的禮拜。
我試過轉學到其他的大學，
那裡可以靠近真耶穌教會的地點，
但都沒有他們任何一所學校接受我。
我覺得神希望我留在堪薩斯。
Because there was no church there,
I had to observe the Sabbath by myself.
It was a little lonely,
so every chance I got I would visit my brother in Chicago
and go to church there.
Later on, I discovered that Dallas Church was closer to Kansas than Chicago Church,
so I started to go to church there whenever I had a holiday.
因為那裡沒有教會，
我必須獨自守安息日。
那種情況有點孤單，
所以只要我有機會就會去探望我芝加哥的兄弟，
並去那裡的教會。
後來我發現達拉斯教會比芝加哥教會離堪薩斯更近，
因此我就開始去那裡的教會，每當有假期時。
Graduating in 2002 was a miracle.
With such poor English,
it really was due to the grace and guidance of God
that I was able to obtain my Master’s degree.
I was so happy after I received my diploma
that I left before the graduation ceremony was over
—I was finally able to move somewhere near church.
2002 年能夠畢業就是一種奇蹟。
雖然英語這麼差，
那確實是因為神的恩典和帶領，
所以我才能夠得到自已的碩士學位。
在我得到自已的文憑後，自已就非常的高興，
在畢業典禮結束前我就離開了，
—我終於可以搬到教會附近的地方了。
My dad and I drove immediately from my graduation ceremony to Dallas Church
to attend a spiritual convocation.
我和爸爸立刻就在畢業典禮後開車去達拉斯教會，
去參加一場靈恩會。
THE ONLY WAY TO STAY 唯一留下的方法
Now that I had obtained my degree,
I wanted to start working and pay off my student loans.
However, I hadn’t made any plans beyond attending the spiritual convocation.
現在我已經拿到自已的學位了，
我想開始工作並償還自已的學生貸款。
然而，除了去參加靈恩會之外，我還沒有決定任何計劃。
I suddenly recalled a testimony that I had heard from a pastor.
A brother had been working in an area far away from a True Jesus Church and was laid off.
So, he packed all of his belongings into a car
and moved with his family to a place where there was a church.
He didn’t look for a job or arrange housing before moving,
but he found a job and a place to stay a few days after he arrived.
我突然想起自已曾經聽過一位傳道的見證。
有一位弟兄曾在遠離真耶穌教會的地區工作，並且被解雇了。
於是，他打包了自已所有的家當裝進車裡，
並與家人搬到了有教會的地方。
在搬家前他沒有先找工作或安排住宿，
但在他抵達後幾天，就找到了一份工作和住宿的地方。
I decided to do the same thing
—I packed my car with my possessions
and drove to Chicago with my parents.
But I didn’t find a job.
我決定做同樣的事情，
—我把自已的物品裝進了車裡
且與父母一起開車去芝加哥。
但我並沒有找到工作。
I would often pray in church,
and I asked God to let me find a job before my work permit expired
so that I could stay in the US.
After several months, I finally found a job,
and I felt that God had opened a road for me out of nowhere.
我常在教會禱告，
我祈求神讓我在工作證到期之前能找到一份工作，
這樣我才能留在美國。
幾個月後，我終於找到一份工作，
我感覺神突然為我打開了一條道路。
I thanked God every day for this job,
but I also asked if He could give me a higher salary
because my pay was extremely low at the time.
I also prayed that if I couldn’t get a higher salary I could at least obtain a work visa
so that I would be able to stay in the US after my work permit expired.
我每天都很感謝神賜給我這份工作，
但我也求問祂是否可以給我更高一些的薪水，
因為當時我的薪水超級低。
我還禱告，如果我拿不到更高的收入，至少可以拿到工作簽證，
這樣我就可以在自已的工作證到期後繼續留在美國。
I was called aside by my boss and a human resources representative
soon after my probation period ended,
and I thought,
“Finally, God is opening a way for me and is going to answer my prayers.”
我被老闆和人力資源專員叫到一邊，
在我試用期結束後不久，
我想，
“最後，神會為我開路，並會回應了我的禱告。”
But instead of offering me a pay raise
or helping me with a work visa,
they told me that my salary was too high
and that they would be decreasing my pay by 25%.
I felt a lot of pain and suffering after this
because it seemed like God wasn’t listening to me
even though I prayed at least three hours a day.
但並沒有給我得到加薪，
或幫我辦理工作證，
他們告訴我薪水太高了，
並且他們打算要降低我的薪水 25%。
在這事之後，我感到非常痛苦和煎熬，
因為事情看起就像神並沒有垂聽我，
儘管每天我都至少禱告三個小時。
Since I didn’t have a work visa,
the only way I could stay in the US was to go back to school.
I applied to universities that
were near True Jesus Church locations,
but I was accepted to only two PhD programs:
one at the University of Idaho
and the other at my alma mater, Wichita State University.
由於我沒有工作簽證，
我唯一可以留在美國的方法就是重返校園。
我申請了許多的大學，
他們都靠近真耶穌教會的地點，
但我只得到兩個博士課程的錄取：
一門課是愛達荷大學，
另一門課就在我的母校威奇托州立大學。
Neither school was near a True Jesus Church,
but I chose Kansas between the two of them
because it was closer to church than Idaho.
I wasn’t very excited about going back to school
since I had already spent so much on my education
and wanted to earn money,
but I felt that I had no other choice.
這兩所學校都沒有離真耶穌教會很近，
但我在他們二者中選擇了堪薩斯，
因為它比愛達荷州離教會更近。
我不太想回到學校，
因為我已經在教育花了太多時間，
並且想要可以賺錢，
但我感覺自已別無選擇。
I shed many tears of sorrow over my situation,
but looking back I can see how God was with me during that time.
Even though I encountered so many trials,
I knew that God would continue to guide me
since He had already guided me through so many difficult times.
我為自己的處境流下了很多悲傷的眼淚，
但回想起來，我能看見神在那段時間是如何與我同在的。
儘管我遇到了許多的考驗，
知道神會繼續引導我，
因為祂已經引導我經過了許多困難的時期。
BLIND IN MY RIGHT EYE 右眼失明
So, I went back to school for my doctorate.
In 2006, a semester before I graduated,
I was granted permanent residence.
I was determined that I would leave Kansas,
and I told my professor that I would not stay
even if they offered me a teaching position.
He thought I was joking
because my department was ready to offer me an assistant professorship once I graduated,
but I told him that I was sure I wanted to leave.
因此，我回到學校攻讀博士學位。
2006 年，我在畢業前的一個學期，
我被授予永久居留權。
我下定決心要離開堪薩斯，
我告訴自已的教授我不會留下來，
即使他們給我提供教職。
他以為我在開玩笑，
因為我系上準備好要給我畢業後提供助理教授職位，
但我告訴他我很確定自已想離開。
I moved to Phoenix immediately after I graduated,
and the first thing I did was drive to church with my parents.
I didn’t have the keys to church,
but just looking at it made me feel like I was free
—I was no longer limited by my situation
and could finally choose where I wanted to live.
I found a job there, and even though I didn’t really like the work I stayed
and bought a house because it was near a church.
畢業後我立即搬到了鳳凰城，
我所做的第一件事就是和父母開車去教會。
我並沒有教會的鑰匙，
但只要看著它就會讓我感到自由，
—我不再受到自已情況的限制，
並最終可以選擇自已想要居住的地方。
我在那裡找到一份工作，儘管我不太喜歡這份我從事的工作，
且買了一棟房子，因為它靠近教會。
I finally had a job that allowed me to pay a mortgage
as well as start to pay off my student loans.
I was content.
I worked the night shift at my full-time job, from 11 pm to 8 am,
making sure that the computers were ready for the day workers when they came in.
I also worked part-time during the day on Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday.
我終於找到了一份工作可以支付房貸，
並且開始償還自已的學貸。
我很滿足。
我於自已的全職工作中上夜班，
晚上 11 點到早上 8 點，
並且確保當白日職員進來的時候，電腦已經準備好供他們使用了。
我還在週一，週三和週日白天做兼職。
One Saturday morning at work,
I realized that I was blind in my right eye.
It was 7:35 am
—my right eye was open, but I couldn’t see anything at all, just blackness.
I was very scared and broke out into a cold sweat.
But I thought back to the time
when God preserved my left eye when I was in military training,
and I was reassured that He would also protect my right eye.
某個週六早上在工作中，
我發現到自已的右眼已經看不見了。
當時是早上 7 點 35 分，
—我的右眼睜開，但我一點東西都看不到，只有黑暗。
我嚇得渾身一陣冷汗。
但我回想起那時，
當我在軍事訓練時神保佑我的左眼時，
我很有信心祂也會保護我的右眼。
During this time, I witnessed the great love that parents have for their children:
my mom not only prayed for me every day for more than three to four hours
but was prepared to sell our house in Taiwan
in order to pay for my eye treatment.
I pretended that everything was fine
and didn’t tell anyone else about my problem.
Even though being able to see out of only one eye
caused me to feel out of balance, I kept going to work and driving.
這段時期，我見證了父母給自已兒女的大愛：
我媽媽不只每天為我禱告超過三到四個小時，
而且也準備賣掉我們台灣的房屋，
為了支付我眼睛的治療。
我假裝一切都很好，
並且沒有告訴任何人我有問題。
儘管只能用一隻眼睛看見，
讓我感覺失去了平衡，我繼續去上班和開車。
I worried that my problem would be discovered
when I had to renew my driver’s license
and that my license would be revoked.
If I lost my license, then I would lose my job
and stop earning money, and my life would be miserable.
我擔心自已的問題會被發現，
當我需要去更新駕照時，
而我的駕照會被取銷。
如果我失去了駕照，然後我就會失去工作，
並且停止收入，我的生活就會變得很悲慘。
I took time off work in December
because my eyesight didn’t improve.
I continued to pray and ask God to heal me as soon as possible,
but things stayed the same every day.
我 12 月時請了假，
因為我的視力並沒有改善。
我繼續禱告，並求神盡快醫治我，
但事情每天都是一樣的。
FULFILLING A PROMISE 履行承諾
I continued to stay home from work until early January.
One Friday after evening service,
I heard the announcement that the United States General Assembly (USGA) was hiring.
I recalled how I had promised God that I would serve Him faithfully the rest of my life
if He kept me alive during military service.
我一直待在家裡沒有上班，直到一月初。
有一次星期五晚間聚會後，
我聽到宣佈美國總會（USGA）正在招聘。
我才想起自已曾經向神許願，我將以一生忠心事奉他
如果在服兵役時，祂讓我活下去。
More importantly, I promised God in 2003
that if I was granted permanent residency I would serve Him
and do whatever was needed in the church.
However, I didn’t fulfill my promise right after I received my PhD
because I wanted to gain work experience.
I didn’t plan when I would work for God
but thought that it would be clear to me when the time came.
更重要的是，在 2003 年我向神許願，
如果我獲得永久居留權，我將會事奉祂，
並做教會任何需要做的事情。
然而，在我拿到博士學位後並沒有還願，
因為我想得到工作經歷。
我並沒有計劃何時要為神工作，
但我認為時候到了我就會明白。
I heard that the position at the USGA had been open for a while,
so I prayed to God and asked that if it was His will,
to let me apply for the position and let my eye heal.
I filled out the application for the position and mailed it on Monday.
On Tuesday, I had a phone interview.
我聽到美國總會這個職位已經空缺了一段時間，
所以我向神禱告，並求問是否這就是祂的旨意，
好讓我去申請這個職位，並讓我的眼睛可以康復。
我填寫了該職位的申請表並在週一寄出。
週二我就進行一次電話面試。
After the phone interview,
I noticed that my eye started to get better
—it wasn’t completely healed,
but I could see colors and blurry objects.
It was clear that God was answering my prayer
and wanted me to serve Him,
but it was difficult for me to give up my good job.
I was hoping to fulfill my promise later on.
電話面試後，
我注意到自已的眼睛開始好轉了，
—它還沒有完全醫治，
但我能看到顏色和模糊的物體。
很明顯的神回應了我的禱告，
並要我去事奉祂，
但對我而言，要放棄自已的好工作卻很困難。
我希望以後才去還願。
Since I had not received a job offer yet,
I went back to work.
My eye had gotten better and I was back earning money.
I decided that if the USGA didn’t contact me again regarding the job,
I would take it as a sign that everything would go back to the way it was.
由於我還沒有收到錄取通知，
我就回去工作了。
我的眼睛已經好多了，我就回去賺錢。
我決定，如果美國總會沒有再次連絡我有關這份工作，
我會將其視為是一切都將恢復原狀的訊號。
I was very happy to be back at work,
and I told my colleagues that my eye had improved.
But after four hours of work on my first day back,
my eye started to darken and I went home.
我很高興可以回去工作，
而我告訴同事自已的眼睛已經好轉了。
但是第一天回來工作了四個小時後，
我的眼睛開始變黑，然後我就回家了。
I thought that the darkness of the work environment at my night job
was causing the eye problem,
so I went back to my day job the following morning.
But when I was there, I felt such extreme pressure on my right eye
that I thought it was going to pop out of the socket.
It was time to fulfill my promise to serve God.
我以為自已夜班的工作環境很暗，
導致了眼睛出現問題，
所以第二天早上我又回去上班了。
但當我去那裡時，我感覺到自已的右眼有極大的壓力，
使我認為它將會從眼窩中擠出來。
現在就是我還願去事奉神的時候了。
I went home early and told my parents that
I had to go work for the church.
I had been given a Chinese article to translate to test my English proficiency
when I applied for the USGA position,
and I noticed that
whenever I worked on it my eye would get better.
So I wrote an email to the USGA executive secretary
and explained that I if I wasn’t hired, I would go blind.
我早早回家，告訴父母，
我必須去教會工作。
我一直都被分派去翻譯中文的文章來測試我的熟練程度，
當我申請美國總會的職位時，
我注意到，
每當我進行這項事工時，我的眼睛就會好轉。
所以我寫信給美國總會的執行秘書，
並解釋說，如果我沒有被錄用，我就會失明。
Proof from God 神的明證
After submitting my translation,
I was offered the job to work for the USGA in Southern California,
and I quit my jobs in Phoenix in preparation for my move.
I was supposed to start work on a Tuesday,
but we had spiritual convocation at Phoenix Church until Sunday,
so I decided that I would move on Monday.
在送出自已的翻譯後，
我得到在南加州為美國總會工作的職位，
我辭去了自已鳳凰城的工作，準備搬家。
我本來應該在週二開始工作，
但我們在鳳凰城教會舉行靈恩會直到星期天，
所以我決定週一才搬家。
On Sunday, the turn signal light on my car broke on the way to church.
During prayer that day, I told God,
“If you want me to move to Southern California,
you have to help me so that my signal works when I drive there.”
星期天時，在去教會的路上，我車子的方向燈壞了。
那天禱告的時候，我告訴神，
“如果你要我搬到南加州，
你必須幫助我，這樣當我開車去那裡時我的方向燈才能運作。
After the final prayer, when everyone was having lunch,
I went to my car, said a silent prayer,
and then said “Hallelujah” and tried the signal.
Miraculously, it worked.
在最後的禱告後，那時大家都在用午餐，
我走向自已的車，默禱一下，
然後說“哈利路亞”並試試方向燈。
很神奇的，它運作正常了。
But then I thought, “Maybe it’s only a coincidence.”
I asked God, “Is this a coincidence?
If you really want me to move, let the light break again and then work again,
and I will believe that it is your will for me to work at the USGA.”
Despite the sign from my healed eye,
a part of me still hoped that I would be able to serve God full-time later on.
但那時我想：“也許那只是巧合。”
我問神，“這是巧合嗎？
如果你真的想讓我搬過去，就讓方向燈再壞一下，然後再運作正常，
而我相信兩就是你的旨意要我去美國總會工作。
儘管有我治好眼睛的神蹟，
我心裡還是有一部份仍希望自已能以後才去全職事奉神。
When I drove home, the turn signal light was broken again.
After I parked the car, I tried the signal again, and it worked.
I knew that it was God’s will for me to work at the USGA.
當我開車回家時，方向號燈又壞了。
在我停好車後，我又試試方向燈，它又運作正常了。
我知道那就是神的旨意要我去美國總會工作。
I believed that if I went,
God would arrange everything for me.
He just wanted me to be strong and have courage.
I drove to Southern California the next day
and started work the day after.
我相信如果自已去了，
神會為我安排好一切。
祂只希望我能堅強，勇敢。
隔天我就開車去南加州，
並且第二天就開始工作。
Since I began working for the church,
I have experienced God’s grace every day.
He has never left my side
or allowed me to suffer or be in need.
自從我開始為教會工作，
我每天都感受到神的恩典。
他從未離開我身旁，
或讓我遭受痛苦或感到缺乏。
On my first day at work, my dad called and said,
“Your tax refund came, and it is a large amount.”
The refund was the exact amount I needed to cover all of my expenses
until I received my first paycheck from my new job.
我上班第一天時，父親打電話來說，
“你的退稅收到了，而且那是很大的數額。”
退稅金額剛好夠我支付所有的費用，
直到我收到自已新工作的第一筆薪水。
Coming to study and work in the US
has shown me how important it is to rely on God and be faithful to Him.
I know that God hears our prayers and fulfills His promises,
and I have seen how we must obey His will and fulfill our promises as well.
來美國學習和工作，
讓我明白了依靠神及忠心祂有多麼重要。
我知道神會垂聽到我們的禱告並實現祂的應許，
我也看到了我們要如何必須順服祂的旨意並且履行自已的承諾。
When I look back on my experiences with God,
I can see how Jesus has always reassured me,
“My grace is sufficient for you.”
當我回顧自已與神相處的體驗時，
我可以看到耶穌總是怎麼來讓我安心，
“我的恩典夠你用。”
小頁 markvmax@hotmail.com
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