7. Manna issue 91 - Count It All Joy 都要以為大喜樂
Lok Sze Chan—Edinburgh, UK 英國艾丁堡 Lok Sze Chan
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I share this testimony.
奉主耶穌聖名，作見証。
In September 2018, after my fortieth birthday,
I was diagnosed with a very rare cancer:
a thirty-centimeter-long liposarcoma tumor in my abdomen.
Sarcoma tumors arise in the body's connective and soft tissues,
such as bone, fat, or muscle.
Mine likely stemmed from a lone fat cell that had gone rogue.
2018年九月，我四十歲生日之後，
就被診斷出一種非常罕見的癌症：
我的腹部長了一個三十公分長的脂肪肉瘤。
肉瘤出現在身體的結締和軟組織中，
例如骨骼、脂肪或肌肉。
我的腫瘤可能來自一個單獨失控的脂肪細胞。
FACING THE UNKNOWN 面對未知
Before I received the actual diagnosis,
the only symptom I experienced was a bloated stomach.
I thought that I was only putting on weight until my mother asked if I was pregnant.
This made me realize that
if it were merely stomach fat, it would feel soft and flabby.
But instead, it was firm.
After a negative pregnancy test,
I consulted a doctor who referred me for an ultrasound scan,
suspecting an ovarian cyst.
在我得到實際診斷報告之前，
我能感覺的唯一症狀是胃脹氣。
我以為自已只是體重增加，直到我媽媽問我是不是懷孕了。
這讓我以為
如果這只是胃部脂肪，它會感覺柔軟鬆弛。
但相反的，它有點硬硬的。
經過懷孕測試陰性之後，
我去看醫生，他叫我去進行超音波掃描，
懷疑這是卵巢囊腫。
The first ultrasound scan showed my ovaries to be healthy.
But the second scan found a large mass around my right kidney,
pushing it to the front of my body.
The news shocked me and, as I left the hospital with my husband,
I was in tears.
Suddenly,
I felt scared and uncertain of the future.
But most of all, I worried for my two young children,
only aged seven and ten at the time.
第一次超音波掃描顯示，我的卵巢很健康。
但第二次掃描，發現我右腎周圍有大腫塊，
把腎推往身體的前方。
這個消息讓我震驚，當我和丈夫離開醫院時，
我淚流滿面。
突然，
我對未來感到害怕不確定。
但最重要的是，我擔心兩個年幼的孩子，
當時只有七歲和十歲。
Thankfully, that weekend was the start of the annual spiritual convocation at the church in Edinburgh,
and the theme was “Trust in the Lord with All Your Heart.”
I remember seeing the words on the banner
as I entered the church hall and feeling a rush of comfort and thankfulness.
It was as if God knew what I needed.
As Christians, we know that we ought to trust God in all things.
But in that moment, these words on the banner came alive to me
and nourished my soul at a time of immense uncertainty.
During the three-day convocation,
I was able to lay down my worries and burdens before my heavenly Father.
In return, I obtained much-needed encouragement.
很感謝的是，那個週末是愛丁堡教會年度的靈恩會的開始，
主題是“全心全意信靠主”。
我記得，當我進入會堂大廳時，
看到了標題的字樣，就感到一陣安慰和感激。
就好像神知道我需要什麼。
作為基督徒，我們知道，自已應該凡事信靠神。
但在那一刻，標題上的這些文字讓我感覺有生命，
在那充滿不確定的時刻，滋養了我的靈魂。
在這三天的靈恩會期間，
我能在天父面前，放下自已的煩惱和重擔。
反過來，我得到了急需的安慰。
During times of trouble,
most Christians tend to reflect on their life and faith,
correct any wrongdoings and unrighteousness,
and draw closer to the Lord.
I was no different.
The three days spent in the house of God were an excellent opportunity to reflect.
I asked for the forgiveness of my sins and weaknesses;
for faith to fully believe that He makes all things work for the good of His children
(Rom 8:28);
and for strength to trust and obey, accepting my Father’s will.
I was reminded that God knows what I am going through,
and more importantly, He knows what lies ahead.
One message stood out:
在困難的時刻，
大多數基督徒傾向反思他們的生活和信仰，
糾正任何錯誤和不義，
更親近主。
我也不例外。
在神的殿中度過了三天，就是一個很好反省的機會。
我祈求饒恕罪過和軟弱；
有信心完全相信，神使萬事效力，讓祂的子女得到好處
（羅 8：28）；
並且能夠有力量，可以信靠順服，順從天父的旨意。
有人提醒我，神都知道我目前正遇到什麼事，
更重要的是，祂知道未來會發生什麼事。
這時就想起一節經文：
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience
(Jas 1:2–3)
2我的弟兄們，你們落在百般試煉中，都要以為大喜樂；
3因為知道你們的信心經過試驗，就生忍耐。
(雅 1：2-3)
We should count ourselves blessed to be worthy of undergoing trials,
as these refine our faith.
Hence, I resolved to face my trial of sickness with joy and courage,
and count myself blessed.
我們應該認為自己很有福，因為配受此試煉，
因為這些事如火般，精煉我們的信心。
因此，我決心以喜悅和勇氣面對疾病的考驗，
並算自已很有福氣。
FINDING PEACE THROUGH FAITH 信神有平安
Two weeks later, I underwent a CT scan,
which confirmed the diagnosis of a sarcoma tumor.
Thank God, it did not indicate any signs of metastasis (spreading)
to the lymph nodes or other sites.
兩週後，我接受了電腦斷層掃描，
機器證實了腫瘤的診斷。
感謝神，它沒有指出有任何轉移（擴散）的跡象，
擴散到淋巴結，或是其他部位。
With the unexpected diagnosis of this rare cancer,
I could do nothing but commit the matter to prayer.
After searching the definition of the term “sarcoma” on the internet,
I decided not to research any further.
I would hand over the matter to my heavenly Father,
trusting that my life is in His hands.
I knew the facts were terrifying,
but I also believed that what is impossible with man is possible with God.
I held on to this belief and begged God for a way out
while learning to accept His will.
I took statutory sick leave from work
but continued to carry out church duties and spent more time in spiritual cultivation.
隨著這種意外的罕見癌症診斷，
我已無能為力，只能把這件事交託禱告。
在網路搜尋了“腫瘤”這一詞的定義之後，
我決定不再深入研究。
我要把這件事交託給天父，
相信，我的生命在祂手中。
我知道，這樣的事實很可怕，
但我也相信，在人不能，在神凡事都能。
我堅持這個想法，祈求神給我開路
同時並學習接受神的旨意。
公司我請了法定的病假，
但繼續執行教會職責，花更多時間靈修。
One hymn I found particularly comforting was Only Believe,[1]
particularly the second verse, as it reminded me:
我發現了一首特別令人安慰的讚美詩，就是《只要相信》，[1]
特別是第二節，因為它提醒了我：
Fear not, little flock, He goeth ahead,
Your Shepherd selecteth the path you must tread;
The waters of Marah He’ll sweeten for thee—
He drank all the bitter in Gethsemane.
群羊不要怕，牧者引你路，
你當跟從祂，前途交託主；(牧者為你選擇當走的路)；
瑪拉泉雖苦，主變為甘甜；
在客西馬尼，教主為你受苦。
Furthermore, I was greatly encouraged by a group of brethren
who had started a daily 9:00 p.m. prayer to intercede for the sick,
including myself.
At that time, several brethren in my local church had been diagnosed with cancer.
Each night, I looked forward to this prayer,
and both my husband and I truly felt strengthened and at peace,
despite the circumstances.
We had never experienced the power of intercession like this before.
We felt very blessed
knowing that so many brethren were praying with us and for us.
Text messages, flowers, gifts, and cards
started pouring in from family, brethren, and friends from around the UK,
adding to the peace, love, and comfort that my family and I experienced.
此外，有一群弟兄姐妹給我極大的鼓舞，
他們每天晚上 9 點開始為生病的人代禱，
包括為我代禱。
那時，我當地教會的幾位弟兄姐妹，都被診斷出患有癌症。
每天晚上，我都期盼著這個祈禱到來，
儘管目前情況如此，
丈夫和我都真正感覺到加添力量和內心平安。
以前我們從來都沒有感受到這樣代禱的力量。
我們感覺很有福氣，
因為知道，有許多弟兄姐妹都與我們一起，為我們禱告。
簡訊、鮮花、禮物和卡片，
開始從英國各地的家人、弟兄姐妹和朋友那裡，紛紛湧入，
增添了我和家人所體驗到的平安、疼愛和安慰。
On October 8, I had a biopsy.
While lying on the bed for the procedure,
my legs started shaking.
But my heart was calm.
I found peace and strength through singing hymns out loud and making silent prayers.
My husband held my hand throughout, praying and sobbing quietly.
The doctor attempted six times to obtain a tissue sample.
On the first two attempts, the needle bent when trying to penetrate the tumor.
On the third and fourth attempts,
the doctor used a thicker needle and managed to obtain a tiny sample.
The fifth attempt was unsuccessful but also the most painful.
The doctor advised that he would stop
as he could see I was in severe pain.
However, I asked him to try one more time,
and on this sixth attempt, my husband and I prayed out loud in tongues.
By God’s grace, the doctor could obtain a substantial sample,
and I felt no pain at all!
10 月 8 日，我進行了切片檢查。
正當躺在床上進行手術之時，
我的腿開始顫抖。
但是我的內心很平靜。
通過大聲唱讚美詩和默禱，我得到了平安和力量。
我丈夫一直握著我的手，靜靜地祈禱暗泣。
醫生試了六次以獲取組織樣本。
前兩次嘗試時，針頭在試圖穿透腫瘤時彎曲了。
在第三，第四次嘗試時，
醫生使用了一根較粗的針頭，想要得到一個小樣本。
第五次嘗試沒有成功，但也最痛苦。
醫生告知，他會停止，
因為他看到，我正感到劇烈的疼痛。
但是，我求他再試一次，
在這第六次嘗試時，我和丈夫用方言大聲禱告。
靠著神的恩典，醫生能夠得到大量的樣本，
我一點也不覺得痛！
Four days later, we met the surgical oncologist to find out the next steps.
In the waiting room, I asked my husband how he felt.
Thank God, he replied that he was at peace and knew that
God would not let us face something that we could not bear.
After exchanging pleasantries,
the surgeon told us that he could operate on me and was confident that
he could remove the tumor altogether.
He booked me in for October 24, in twelve days’ time.
四天後，我們去見外科腫瘤醫師，以了解下一步。
在候診室，我問丈夫他的感受。
感謝神，他回答說，自已很平靜，並且知道，
神不會讓我們面對，我們無法忍受的事情。
互相開玩笑過後，
外科醫生告訴我們，他可以進行手術，並且有信心，
他可以完全切除腫瘤。
他為我預約了十二天後的 10 月 24 日。
Due to the tumor's size, the surgeon advised that
the operation would take at least six hours
and that I would end up with a long scar.
Though my right kidney was healthy,
it had to be removed since the tumor had grown around it,
and there was a possibility that
my right ovary and parts of my bowel would have to be removed too.
Despite this information, my husband and I felt great relief, joy, and gratitude!
Even when the surgeon described
the risks associated with such a major surgery and the long recovery time afterward,
we did not feel worried.
We had prayed for a way out, and God had answered our prayers and those of our brethren.
由於腫瘤的大小，外科醫生建議，
手術至少需要六個小時，
最終我會留下一道長長的傷疤。
雖然我的右腎很健康，
但還是要移除，因為腫瘤已經長在它的周圍，
並且很有可能，
我的右側卵巢和部分腸道也必須切除。
儘管聽到這些消息，丈夫和我都感到非常放心、喜悅和感謝！
即使外科醫生說明了，
這種大手術的相關風險，以及之後漫長的恢復時間，
我們並不擔心。
我們曾祈求找到出路，神回應了我們和弟兄姐妹的祈禱。
FEAR NOT, FOR I AM WITH YOU 不要害怕，因為我和你同在
During the church prayer on the Sabbath day before my operation,
I asked my heavenly Father if He could hold my hand or embrace me during the operation
and send His angels to surround and protect me.
Later that evening, one church co-worker sent a Bible verse to our WhatsApp group,
which gave me great comfort and encouragement.
She quoted from Psalm 91:11,
“For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.”
在我手術前安息日的教會禱告時，
我求天父，手術時祂是否可以握住我的手，或擁抱我，
派祂的天使來圍繞保護我。
那晚稍後的時候，有一位教會同工，向我們的 WhatsApp 群組發送了一段聖經經文，
這給了我很大的安慰鼓勵。
她引用詩篇 91 篇 11 節，
“11因他要為你吩咐他的使者，在你行的一切道路上保護你。”
On October 24, at 9:30 a.m.,
I was wheeled into the Western General Hospital's anesthetic room.
My heart felt truly at peace and even a little excited!
I knew that my life was in God’s hands, and I had no need to fear.
As the staff prepared to inject my spine with a spinal block,
I sang Only Believe out loud and was surprised that I felt no pain at all.
10 月 24 日上午 9 點 30 分，
我被推進了愛丁堡西綜合醫院的麻醉室。
我的內心真的很平靜，甚至還有點興奮！
我知道，自已的生命在神的手中，我沒有必要害怕。
當醫護人員準備注射脊椎，進行脊髓麻醉時，
我大聲唱了《只要相信》，很驚訝的發現，自已一點都不痛。
My next memory was being wheeled out from the operating theatre post-surgery, at around 1:30 p.m.
I recall the surgeons telling me that the operation had gone “swimmingly well”
and that it had taken only four hours
as they did not need to remove any other organs apart from the tumor and the right kidney.
我接下來的記憶，是開刀後下午 1 點半左右，從手術房被推出來。
我記得外科醫生告訴我，手術進行得“非常順利”，
而且只用了四個小時，
因為除了拿掉腫瘤和右腎之外，他們不需要切除其他任何器官。
Though I felt disoriented, having just woken up from the anesthetics,
I remember feeling profoundly humbled and in awe of God’s wondrous grace and love.
I wanted to cry and praise God as He had answered all my requests:
He gave me a way out in the form of an operation;
He left my other organs untouched;
He protected me throughout the process by taking away my fear and giving me peace,
and He allowed me to wake up after the surgery.
雖然我覺得暈頭轉向，才剛從麻醉中醒來，
我記得自已對神奇妙的恩典和慈愛，深感謙卑和敬畏。
我想大哭讚美神，因為祂回應了我所有的請求：
他以手術的形式，給我開出一條路；
他保留了我其他的器官；
整個手術過程中，祂保護我，帶走我的恐懼，給了我平安，
並且讓我手術後，可以醒過來。
A few days later, I learned that
my fellow patients in the Surgical High Dependency Ward also had spinal blocks,
but they experienced varying degrees of severe pain, whereas I had felt none.
This was further testimony of God’s mercy.
幾天後，我得知，
手術高依賴病床的病友，也進行脊椎麻醉，
但是他們經歷了不同程度的劇烈疼痛，而我什麼都沒有感覺到。
這更是見證了神的憐憫。
I was hospitalized for eight days, with no further complications.
Thereafter, my recovery was smooth.
As the tumor had not spread,
I did not require follow-up chemotherapy or radiotherapy.
I only needed to have a CT scan every six months for the next ten years, along with annual checks.
我住院八天，而且沒有進一步的併發症。
之後，我的康復都很順利。
由於腫瘤沒有擴散，
我並不需要接著進行化學治療或放射治療。
我只需要接下來十年內，每六個月進行一次電腦斷層掃描，以及年度健檢。
When I first consulted the doctor on my bloated stomach,
I also had a very dark mark on one toe.
The doctor suspected possible skin cancer
and referred me to the dermatology clinic.
We decided not to share this with our wider family until a diagnosis was confirmed,
as the tumor was already enough of a worry for them.
Instead, we added this matter to our prayers.
Around a month after the sarcoma tumor operation,
I visited the dermatologist.
Thank the Lord, after a few minutes of examination,
it turned out the dark mark was merely a blood clot
that would eventually disappear.
Once again,
I felt deeply humbled and in awe of God’s mercy.
當我第一次因為肚子脹氣去看醫生的時候，
我也有一個超級黑斑在腳趾上。
醫生懷疑可能是皮膚癌，
並叫我轉診到皮膚科診所。
我們決定在確診之前，不與大部份家人分享這事，
因為腫瘤已經讓他們夠擔心了。
相反的，我們將這件事放到我們的禱告中。
肉瘤手術後大約一個月，
我去看了皮膚科醫生。
感謝主，經過幾分鐘的檢查後，
原來黑斑只是血塊，
那最自然會消失。
再來一次，
我感到深深的謙卑，並且敬畏神的憐憫。
After one year off to physically and mentally recover,
I returned to work, with my employers arranging a sympathetic
and gradual phase-back plan.
I now realize that having the health to work is a blessing from God
and not something to take for granted.
經過一年休息的身心恢復，
我回到工作崗位，我老闆安排了一個有同情心支持
且逐步回歸進入狀態的計劃。
我現在了解到，有健康可以工作，是神的祝福
而不是一件理所當然的事情。
The tumor weighed three kilograms (around six pounds and ten ounces),
which was my son's weight when he was born!
I had to have forty metal staples to hold the incision together.
Many found it hard to believe that a tumor this size and weight had been growing inside me.
However, this unbelievable fact demonstrated God’s almighty power.
And now, my scar constantly reminds me of His wondrous grace, love, and mercy on my family and me.
腫瘤三公斤重（約六磅十盎司），
正是我兒子出生時的體重！
我身體必須用四十鋼針將傷口縫合。
很多人認為很難相信，這種大小重量的腫瘤，一直長在我體內。
然而，這起令人難以置信的事實，證明了神的全能。
現在，我的傷疤不斷提醒我，想起神給家人和我的奇妙恩典、慈愛和憐憫。
Many brethren sent me beautiful reminders of God’s word by way of encouragement.
One verse that stays profoundly with me every day since my diagnosis is from Isaiah 41:10:
許多弟兄姐妹通過鼓勵的方式，發送給我神話語美好的提醒。
自從診斷以來，有一節經文每天都深深陪伴在我身邊，就是以賽亞書 41 章 10 節：
“Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you.
Yes, I will help you.
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
10你不要害怕，因為我與你同在；
不要驚惶，因為我是你的神。
我必堅固你，
我必幫助你；
我必用我公義的右手扶持你。
(賽 41：10)
May all praise, glory, and honor be ascribed to our heavenly Father! Amen.
原一切稱頌，尊貴，榮耀都歸予我們的天父！阿們。
小頁 markvmax@hotmail.com
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