3. Manna issue 63 - Guided by God's Hand 神的手引領
Siah Chin Luan—Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia 馬來西亞亞庇
A BUDDHIST UPBRINGING 佛教出生
I came from a big family with strong traditional Chinese Buddhist beliefs.
As a child I had no exposure to Christianity.
During Chinese New Year celebrations and other traditional festivals,
the elders in my family were always busy preparing food and joss paper as offerings to our ancestors,
and praying that these ancestors would bless us with peace and prosperity.
我來自一個有著濃厚中國傳統佛教信仰的大家庭。
小時候我沒有接觸過基督教。
慶祝農曆新年和其他傳統節日的時候，
我家長輩總是忙著準備食物和紙錢祭祀祖先，
並祈求這些祖先保佑我們平安興旺。
Worshipping in such a manner was therefore a habit that I acquired from a young age.
I believed eating food that had been offered would bring peace;
whether or not it had any basis in reality,
this became a deeply ingrained concept in my life.
因此，用這樣態度的敬拜方式，是我從小養成的習慣。
我相信吃祭物會帶來平安；
無論現實有沒有依據，
這成為我生活中根深蒂固的觀念。
When I was ten, my maternal grandmother and my aunt became members of the Tian Dao religion.
Grandma believed it was a faith that could lead men to heaven and obtain the truth.
Under their influence, we also gradually became followers of that faith.
當我十歲的時候，我的外婆和姨媽都加入了天道教。
奶奶相信，這是一種信仰，可以帶領人進入天國，獲得真理。
在他們的影響下，我們也逐漸成為這種宗教的信徒。
After completing high school I enrolled in an English language class,
where I met Brother Yong Choon Min, now my husband.
Although we became friends,
I did not know he was a Christian because he never talked about Christianity or his own beliefs.
He was what could be described as a lost lamb.
高中畢業後，我參加了英語課程，
在那裡我遇到了 Yong Choon Min 弟兄，現在他是我的丈夫。
雖然我們成為朋友，
我不知道他是基督徒，因為他從不談論基督教，或是他自己的信仰。
他就是一般所形容，迷失的羔羊。
During one of our conversations,
when I mentioned that I was a member of the Tian Dao,
he said, “Your type of faith is false.”
I was insulted and started to debate with him.
He was unable to win me over, possibly because he had a shallow knowledge of the truth.
We often quarreled because of our different faiths.
在我們的一次談話中，
當我提到自已是天道的信徒時，
他說：“你那種信仰是虛假的。”
我受到了侮辱，並且開始與他辯論。
他無法贏過我，可能是因為他對真理認識淺薄。
我們經常因為信仰不同而爭吵。
UNINTERESTED IN SERMONS 無聊的講道
One day, Brother Yong saw an advertisement for a college
that offered a double degree twinning course in business administration and marketing.
After two years of studies in Malaysia,
we would complete our degrees with a final year overseas.
We decided to register and continue our education.
有一天，Yong 哥看到一所大學的廣告
該課程提供工商管理和市場行銷雙學位課程。
在馬來西亞學習了兩年後，
我們將於海外完成最後一年的學程。
我們決定註冊，並繼續我們的教育。
Shortly after we started our program,
Brother Yong and I were eating lunch when Brother Liau,
who was enrolled in the same program,
joined us and started to preach to us.
It was during our conversation that we discovered
that they both belonged to the True Jesus Church.
在我們開始計劃後不久，
我和 Yong 弟兄正吃午飯，廖弟兄，
他參加了同一項課程，
加入我們，並開始向我們傳道。
在我們的談話中，我們發現，
他們都屬於真耶穌教會。
From that time on, Brother Liau often encouraged us to attend church services
in order to find out more about the truth.
Thank God, Brother Yong was brought back to the Lord’s fold through his encouragement.
從那時起，廖弟兄經常鼓勵我們去聚會
以便更清楚了解真理。
感謝神，Yong 弟兄因為他的鼓勵，而回到了主的羊圈。
My first encounter with the True Jesus Church was in Kota Kinabalu.
I was shocked by the way the members prayed;
it was loud and very extraordinary.
I thought of leaving immediately,
but out of respect for those who were praying I stayed at my seat.
我第一次接觸真耶穌教會是在亞庇。
我因為信徒禱告的方式而嚇到；
聲音很大，而且非常特別。
本來想立刻離開
但出於對那些禱告者的尊重，我留在座位上。
However, other than my shock at the prayer I was rather indifferent to the whole experience.
I didn’t think that Christianity was special
because I had been taught in Tian Dao
that even though there were different religions,
they all originated from the same place.
然而，除了對禱告的驚嚇之外，我對整個經歷很冷淡。
我不認為基督教有什麼特別，
因為我曾於天道教受過教導，
即使有不同的宗教信仰，
他們都起源自於同一處。
After that initial visit to church,
Brother Yong brought me to service every Sabbath day.
However, I only attended out of courtesy toward him,
so I always hoped for the service to end quickly.
I was not interested in Christianity,
so it didn’t matter that I couldn’t understand what they preached.
第一次參觀教會之後，
Yong 弟兄每個安息日都帶我去聚會。
不過我只是出於對他的禮貌而參加，
所以我總是希望聚會能夠快點結束。
我對基督教不感興趣，
所以聽不懂他們所宣講的內容，也不重要。
Brother Liau would sometimes take the opportunity to explain the doctrines to me
when we studied together.
But I would try and make things difficult for him with many questions.
I believed that every person could have his own faith
because all religions persuade men to do good;
the only difference is the method of worship.
廖弟兄有時會趁機給我解釋教義，
當我們一起讀書的時候。
但我會試著用很多問題來刁難他。
我相信，每個人都可以有自己的信仰，
因為所有宗教都勸人行善；
唯一的區別就只是崇拜的方式。
MOVED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT 聖靈的感動
I attended services weekly at True Jesus Church to avoid arguments with Brother Yong,
but I continued to teach children at a temple on Sundays.
One Sunday, after the lessons were over, Brother Yong came to take me home.
During the ride he said that he had to pick up his aunt
and send her to the True Jesus Church in Penampang
to attend the spiritual assembly being held there.
He invited me to join them and encouraged me to pray for the Holy Spirit.
我每週都會去真耶穌教會聚會，以避免與 Yong 弟兄發生爭執，
但是周日我會繼續在廟裡教小孩子。
有一個週日，課程結束後，Yong 弟兄來接我回家。
開車時，他說要去接他的阿姨，
並送她到兵南邦縣的真耶穌教會，
去參加那裡舉行的靈恩會。
他邀請我加入他們，並鼓勵我祈求聖靈。
I decided that I would take the opportunity to pray
and see if the God that I was praying to in this church was the God that I worshipped.
I had been taught in Tian Dao that there was only one God,
and through my conversations with Brother Liau my curiosity had grown
as to who this Christian God was.
我決定趁這個機會禱告，
看看我在這間教會禱告的神，是不是我敬拜的神。
我在天道教中受教導，只有一位神，
通過與廖弟兄的交談，我的好奇心增加了，
以至於好奇這位基督教的神是誰。
When the preacher invited those who wished to pray for the Holy Spirit
to go to the front to pray, I stepped forward.
While I was praying, I suddenly felt that I was burdened with sins
and I asked the Lord to forgive all my transgressions.
I already believed in the last day and in eternal life through Tian Dao
and I asked the Lord to save me.
My body started to shake involuntarily and tears fell uncontrollably.
當傳道邀請那些希望祈求聖靈的人，
去前面祈禱時，我走上前去。
當禱告的時候，我突然覺得自己罪孽深重，
我求主寬恕我所有的過錯。
我已經通過天道教，相信了末日和永生，
並且我祈求主拯救我。
我的身體不由自主振動起來，淚水不受控制泉湧而出。
I was astonished.
Why was I weeping when I was not sad?
Why was my body shaking?
I stopped praying and the tears and shaking stopped.
When I resumed praying, tears again fell involuntarily
and I felt a gentle and comforting warmth flow through my body.
我很驚訝。
為什麼我不難過，卻會哭泣呢？
為什麼我的身體會一直振動呢？
我停止禱紳，眼淚和振動也停止了。
當我繼續禱告時，淚水又不由自主流了下來，
我感到有一股溫柔而舒適的暖流穿過了我的身體。
While I was trying to understand what was going on,
doubt started to creep into my mind.
I heard a voice say,
“What are you doing?
Go back to your own religion.”
Once the idea entered my head the warm feeling left me.
After a short time, the prayer ended.
I returned to my seat and wept continuously.
當我正試圖了解，到底發生了什麼事時，
懷疑開始蔓延到腦海中。
我聽到一個聲音說：
“你在幹什麼？
回到你自己的宗教信仰吧。”
一旦有這個想法進入我的腦海時，溫暖的感覺就離開了我。
過了一會兒，禱告結束了。
我回到座位上，不停的哭泣。
Later, I was told that I had been moved by the Holy Spirit during the prayer,
but I didn’t really understand.
When I returned home, I related the whole event in detail to my mother;
both of us were astonished by what I had experienced.
Neither of us knew the truth that was preached at True Jesus Church
and we had never consciously sought to understand it.
後來有人告訴我，我禱告時受到聖靈的感動，
但我並不是太明白。
回到家時，我把整個事情的經過詳細的告訴媽媽。
我們兩個人都對我所經歷的事情感到驚訝。
我們兩人都不知道真耶穌教會所傳的真理，
我們從來沒有下意識的想要去了解真理。
Due to my mother’s belief in Tian Dao,
she asked me to stop going to church.
However, I continued to go to church on Saturdays and the temple on Sundays.
由於母親有天道教的信仰，
她要求我停止去教會。
不過，我星期六繼續去教會，週日去寺廟。
TWO STRANGE DREAMS 兩個怪夢
Thanks to the grace of God,
I started the final year of my university studies in London,
along with Brother Yong and Brother Liau.
Through God’s love and mercy,
I received loans that paid for my tuition
and found a part-time job that paid for my living expenses.
感謝神的恩典，
我開始了倫敦大學學習的最後一年，
一起還有 Yong 弟兄和廖弟兄。
靠著神的慈愛和憐憫，
我收到了貸款來支付學費，
並且找到了一份兼職工作來支付我的生活費。
I continued to attend services at the True Jesus Church in London with Brother Yong and Brother Liau,
and stopped going to the temple.
Every week, we would stay at church over the weekend before returning to the university.
One Saturday night in December, I had a dream.
我繼續與 Yong 弟兄和廖弟兄一起參加倫敦真耶穌教會的聚會，
並且不再去寺廟。
每週，我們都會待在教會度過週末，然後再返回大學。
十二月有一個星期六晚上，我做了一個夢。
In my dream I was in a temple, where there was a huge idol of Buddha.
It was dim and filled with smoke, and I stood near the entrance.
Suddenly, a mosquito flew past me and settled by the idol’s ear,
seemingly berating me for attending the True Jesus Church.
在我夢中，我身處於一座寺廟，那裡有一尊巨大的佛像。
那時光線昏暗，煙霧繚繞，我站在入口附近。
突然，有一隻蚊子飛過我身邊，停在神像的耳邊，
似乎在斥責我參加真耶穌教會。
The Buddha’s smiling face turned to fierce anger,
its body grew bigger and bigger,
and it came towards me so fast that it seemed to be flying.
I could see it trying to grab me.
As it got closer and was about to capture me,
I clasped my hands and cried out,
“Hallelujah! In the name of the Lord Jesus!”
佛像的笑容變成了激烈的憤怒，
它的身體越來越大，
它很快向我走來，就好像是飛的一樣。
我可以看到它想要抓住我。
當它越來越近，快要抓到我的時候，
我緊握雙手，大聲喊道：
“哈利路亞！ 奉主耶穌的名！”
I woke up even before I finished saying the rest of the sentence.
I was so terrified of what I had just experienced in the dream
that I prayed silently underneath the covers.
However, when I woke up the next day I put the dream aside
and treated it as only a nightmare.
話還沒有說完，我就醒了。
我很害怕剛剛夢中經歷的情況，
因此我在被子下默禱。
然而，第二天醒來時，我就把這個夢忘了，
並將其視為一場惡夢。
A week later, London Church held a week-long evangelism training camp.
One night during the camp, as I was sleeping in a room with a few other sisters,
I had another dream.
一周後，倫敦教會舉辦了一周的福音訓練營。
訓練期間的一天晚上，當我和其他幾個姐妹睡在一個房間時，
我作了另一個夢。
In the dream, I saw a high wall.
It was very dark and I could not see my fingers
when I stretched out my hands.
A shadowy figure, with a long beard and dressed all in black,
slowly floated out of the wall.
Suddenly a voice sounded from the figure, “I am God.”
在夢中，我看到了一堵高牆。
天很黑，我看不到自已的手指，
當我伸出雙手的時候。
有一個黑影，留著長鬍子，穿著一身黑衣，
緩緩的從牆壁飄出來。
突然有一道聲音從人影中發出：“我就是神。”
God?
Does God look like that?
Why is he dressed in black?
I wanted to pray but I was unable to cry out “Hallelujah.”
I tried to wake up from the dream, but I couldn’t.
After a great struggle, I suddenly heard a loud bang,
like two cars crashing into each other at high speed on the road outside the chapel.
I was awakened by the noise and prayed for some time before falling asleep again.
神？
神看起來是這樣子的嗎？
他為什麼穿黑衣服？
我想要禱告，但我無法叫出“哈利路亞”。
我想要從夢中醒過來，但我做不到。
經過一番掙扎後，突然聽到一聲巨響，
就好像兩輛汽車在教會外的路上高速相撞。
我被噪音嚇醒了，禱告了一會兒才又睡著。
The next morning, I asked the other sisters sharing the room with me
whether they had heard the loud bang the previous night.
They had not.
If the loud noise I heard had been caused by a car accident,
how could they not have heard it as well?
第二天早上，我問和同住房內的其他姐妹：
他們前晚有沒有聽到巨響。
他們說沒有。
如果我聽到的巨響是由車禍所引起的，
他們怎麼可能會也沒有聽到呢？
I then related my dream to Brother.
After I finished, he asked me whether I still had any idols or charms in my handbag.
It was only then that I fully understood
that this dream and the one I had a week earlier were trying to make me stop going to church.
Instead of having that effect on me, however,
they showed me which religion I should follow.
我就把自已的夢境告訴 Yong 弟兄。
結束之後，他問我手提包裡還有沒有神像或護身符。
直到那時我才徹底明白，
這個夢和前一周所做的夢，就想要讓我停止去教會。
然而，並沒有對我產生這種影響，
他們告訴我應該要信哪種宗教。
I related the two dreams to the deacons and gave them all of the charms and idols I had,
which they destroyed in the name of Jesus.
我把這兩個夢告訴了執事，並把我所有的符咒和偶像都給了他們，
而他們奉耶穌的名加以消毀。
RECEIVING THE HOLY SPIRIT 得到聖靈
Seeing Brother Yong receive the Holy Spirit during the evangelism training camp
spurred me to seriously seek after the Holy Spirit myself.
That night, I prayed to God,
“O Lord, You are the Lord of heaven and earth.
Please let me once again experience the movement of the Holy Spirit.
If it is Your will to give me the Holy Spirit,
please let me feel Your existence again!”
看見 Yong 弟兄在福音訓練營得到聖靈，
刺激我自己想認真祈求聖靈。
那天晚上，我向神祈禱，
“主啊，你是天地的主宰。
請讓我再次體驗到聖靈的感動。
如果你樂意賜給我聖靈，
請讓我再次感受到你的存在！”
For three consecutive days I prayed fervently to God in this manner.
I also asked God to forgive my sins.
During one prayer, I was suddenly reminded of my poor attitude towards my father and I felt deep remorse.
If I could not respect my earthly father,
how could I respect the heavenly Father?
我連續三天都這樣迫切的心向神禱告。
我也求神原諒我的罪過。
在一次禱告中，我突然想起自己對父親惡劣的態度，感到深深的悔恨。
如果我不能尊重自已世上的父親，
我怎能尊敬天父呢？
I prayed even more fervently for God’s forgiveness.
Then I felt a warm current flowing from my head to the rest of my body,
as if the Lord Jesus was gently comforting me.
I immediately felt my stony heart dissolve and become a warm one, made of flesh.
I started to speak in tongues, my body was vibrating
and I knew I had received the Holy Spirit.
The joy I felt was indescribable.
我更加迫切祈求神的寬恕。
然後我感到有一股暖流，從我的頭流到身體其他部位，
彷彿是主耶穌在溫柔的安慰我。
我立刻覺得自已的石心融化了，變成一顆溫暖的愛心、由血肉組合而成的肉心。
我開始說靈言，自已的身體開始振動，
我知道自已已經得到了聖靈。
我感覺這種喜悅是難以形容的。
BAPTIZED INTO THE LORD 受洗歸主
After receiving the Holy Spirit, I wanted to receive water baptism.
But because my family members were followers of a different religion,
I was afraid that they would object when I told them of my plans.
On learning of my predicament, a brother urged me to pray to God about it.
Thank the Lord, when I told my dad of my intention to be baptized, he did not object.
得到聖靈之後，我想接受大水的洗禮。
但因為我的家人都是不同宗教的信徒
我擔心當我告訴他們自已的計劃時，他們會反對。
有一位弟兄得知我的困難之後，就勸我向神禱告關於這件事。
感謝主，當我告訴爸爸自已想受洗時，他並沒有反對。
On February 8, 1998, ten people gathered at the baptismal site,
where I was the only person to be baptized.
The sky was cloudy and it was unbearably cold with icy winds blowing fiercely.
We asked the preacher whether the baptism ought to be postponed but he answered,
“Pray to God with faith.”
1998 年 2 月 8 日，有十個人聚集在洗禮地點，
在那裡我是唯一受洗的人。
天空烏雲密布，寒風凜冽，寒冷難耐。
我們問傳道是否應該延遲洗禮，但他回答說：
“憑信心向神禱告。”
When we opened our hymnbooks to sing,
the clouds on the horizon parted and the sun shone upon us.
We were very moved by the sight and knew that the Lord was truly with us.
In my mind I kept thinking, I am so insignificant,
yet God has allowed me to receive this great salvation grace for which I am most unworthy.
Tears fell as I felt the Lord’s love touch my heart deeply.
當我們打開讚美詩開始唱詩時，
地平線的雲層散開，陽光照在我們身上。
我們看到這一幕非常的感動，知道主真的與我們同在。
我心裡一直在想，我是多麼的渺小，
然而神卻讓我得到了我這最不配得到的偉大救恩。
當我感受到主的慈愛深深觸動自已的內心時，我流下了眼淚。
I walked into the water, knelt, and bowed my head for the baptism.
The moment I was immersed in the water,
I felt as if all of my burdens were lifted.
我走進水裡，跪下來，低下頭接受洗禮。
當我浸入水中的那一刻，
我感覺好像自已所有的重擔都卸下來了。
I am so thankful to God for His wonderful guidance.
Because of His love and mercy,
He chose someone as insignificant as me to be His child.
Throughout my life, even before I believed,
God’s gracious hand has been with me, guiding me all the way.
His love has touched my heart
so that I am able to deeply experience the true and living God working in my life.
我非常感謝神奇妙的帶領。
因為祂的慈愛和憐憫，
他選擇像我這樣微不足道的人，作為祂的兒子。
在我一生中，甚至在我信主之前，
神施恩的手就一直與我同在，一路引導我。
祂的慈愛感動了我的內心，
使我能夠深深體會到這又真又活的真神，在我生命中作工。
How long, wide, high, and deep is the Lord’s love?
It is indeed without limits.
He not only loves me, His love also covers my family.
After my baptism my parents also came to believe and received baptism.
To me, this is an added grace from the Lord.
主的慈愛有多麼的長闊高深呢？
確實是沒有限制。
祂不僅疼愛我，祂的慈愛也涵蓋我的家人。
我受洗之後，我的父母也來信主，並接受了洗禮。
對我而言，這是主額外的恩典。
May the grace and care of the Lord be with me throughout my life,
so that I can continue in my heavenly journey, holding on to His hand.
願主的恩典和看顧伴隨我的一生，
使我能緊住祂的手，繼續我的天國之旅。
小頁 markvmax@hotmail.com
歡迎主內同靈來信加入翻譯
